My boy Gil Rio just released this video where you see him approach a girl and he breaks down what he’s doing. His breakdown is excellent and you can learn a lot from watching this 20+ minute video.
Two Love Systems instructors are doing a 10-day bootcamp. I don’t think anything like this has happened before. Most students “complain” (it’s not really a complaint) that the bootcamp is too short. Well, now you can do 10 days and you learn tons of advanced stuff like Social Circle Mastery and other specialty seminars that are included.
Plus it’s being held in Sweden, the land of the gorgeous women. So what are you waiting for:
A lot of guys have made new years resolutions to improve their game and have more women in their lives. We are now in February so I’m wondering how that is working out for you. Most people lose sight of their goals after that new year high, which is a shame. So I’m blogging here to see if you are still working on your game. I’ve compiled 6 questions for you to diagnose yourself.
This is something I do every year to improve my game. Every December I always try to look back over the year and see what I did well and what I can improve. My annual review is really important because that’s what I use to set goals for the upcoming year. Especially when I was trying to learn Love Systems (before I became an instructor), I made leaps in my game by making sure that every year I reflect back on how my game has progressed. There are a couple questions I asked myself that made me reflect how good (or bad) my dating life was that year.
Even though we are way past the new year, this is still very valuable going forward. I want to share these questions with you, specifically applied to your dating life. I highly recommend you try to answer these for yourself and be honest.
1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied were you with your dating life in 2010?
This gives you a quick snapshot how great your dating life is and can be very telling.
2. Why did you score that way?
Why did you give yourself that score? It’s really important to ask yourself this question. For a lot of guys, it’s because they didn’t go out enough. Or is it something different for you? Sometimes it’s really frustrating when you’re hitting a sticking point and you can’t seem to get past it. Whatever your reasons are, write them down.
3. What are your biggest accomplishments in 2010 since learning Love Systems?
Note every accomplishment you achieved after finding Love Systems. Perhaps it’s that you talked to more women that you ever had before. Maybe you had more dates and slept with more women. Whatever it is, write down all your accomplishments.
Now be proud of them. No seriously, I mean it. Read over that list and be happy about it. Your brain loves seeing positive results and it motivates you. For me, I had a hard time coming up with them when I first started with Love Systems. As soon I started to write them down (my first year I got more dates that I could handle) I started to realize how amazing my dating life actually was. Sometimes you don’t know what you have unless you are conscious of them.
4. What are the biggest lessons learned in 2010?
Sometimes when you’re out applying Love Systems, you’ll have an epiphany. What were those epiphanies for you? Write down those moments where the light bulb came on.
A lot of those came for me during the initial 2-3 minutes (I had to be more playful and teasing) and when I lost a girl along the way to my bedroom (“logistics”). The next day I’d think where I lost it and then it would hit me. The solution was then ingrained in my mind and the next time I wouldn’t lose the girl again in the same situation.
5. What are your current sticking points?
This is actually a question I ask myself every couple months, but I wanted to make sure you do this (at least) every year. If you have no idea what you’re current sticking points are, let me help you out here…
Can you consistently kiss a girl?
I really like this question because it involves a lot of moving parts:
- You need to have her be attracted to you
- She needs to be physically comfortable with you
- She is somewhere where her friends aren’t around (or else you get the kiss of death)
As you can see it involves all three tracks in the Love Systems Triad Model. If you answered a “no” to that question, what part of the Triad Model do you have to work on?
6. What are your immediate next steps to overcome those sticking points?
Now that you have identified what your sticking points are, setup a game plan to overcome them. To skyrocket your game, sometimes you have to approach it from a scientific angle. That means logging and tweaking each experiment. This is what I used to do:
- Writing down my field reports of what happened (in a private journal)
- Writing down how many approaches I did
- Writing down what went well that time?
- Writing down what went wrong? Where did I lose the girl?
- Writing down what I can do to prevent that from happening in the future?
I really hope this was useful to you. Trust me, do these exercises and, over time, it will really help take your game to the next level.
It’s finally so far. After years of speculation former seminar Social Circle Mastery is now available on DVD. The home study allows you to watch the whole seminar at your own convenience and pace. That’s one of the greatest things of home study courses. You can rewatch it any time you want to fully grasp the concepts and every single time you watch it again, you get a new level of understanding of the material.
Even though I took the Social Circle mastery seminars when they first came out, I went to every single of them (perks working at LS) and I got new insights I missed before. It’s like for all students who take a second bootcamp with us. The second time is better than the first one because students tend to get more out of it even though it’s almost the same stuff.
It’s funny how a lot of the marketing of pickup companies work. You’ll see a picture of a guy surrounded by hot women and that should get your attention. Then they claim they can teach you that you can achieve that image; being the guy surrounded by all these women. Well guess what….with cold approach that’s not really the case. In cold approach, most of the women you date and hook up with don’t even know of each other’s existence. You have a girl here, a girl there, and a girl in area code 90210, but they never get together and meet each other (you’ll get drama…trust me).
Social circle actually gives you the ability to achieve that status of being the guy women want. In a social circle setting there can be multiple women chasing you….and they can all know each other. It’s like you’re the ultimate prize in that group of friends, all the women want you, and they know other women want you. It’s a great position to be in, but you have to know how to do it. That to me, is one of the biggest values you will get out of Social Circle Mastery.
There is one mistake I see guys (who try to master Love Systems) make all the time. It’s a common mistake for beginners and it’s what I call the Kiss of Death. The Kiss of Death is when you try to kiss the girl while her friends are around.
If you try to kiss the girl when her friends are around, you will get rejected MOST of the time. Even if she likes you a lot, most of the time she will still reject you. Especi ally girls who are part of a big group. The reason is that women do not want to be perceived as “too easy” or “slutty.” Kissing in front of friends makes them look like that.
From my experience, you can sometimes get away with it with girls who come in pairs (2-sets). Even then, your best move still to isolate and then try to kiss when the friend isn’t around.
Now, do not think that when you have the kiss of death happen to you that the interaction is over. A lot of guys think that if the girl rejects you when you try to initiate the kiss, it’s game over. It’s actually the opposite. It shows you have cojones (balls if you like) and go for things you want, which are attractive. The exception is when she rejects you hard like “WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU DIRTY HAMSTER?” but then it’s not the kiss of death that killed it, the setup was wrong! When you get something like that, she was just friendly and not attracted. The fix? Work on your attraction game and make sure you’re physically escalating up to the kiss.
Whenever you initiate the kiss, unknowingly in front of her friends or not, and she resists, simply smile and say “I understand your friends are here” (credit The Don), act like it was no big deal, and start talking about something else. Later on try again (make sure her friends aren’t around) and then try again. You’ll see the kiss of death is a thing of the past then.
2011 is going to kick off with a bang. Love Systems is going to host a free conference call on social circle game. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’m a big proponent of social circle game (read 3 reasons why you should learn social circle game). Meeting women through friends and (business) contacts is a very good way to meet women, especially if you are someone who doesn’t go out much at night or relies on online dating.
If you are a young professional like me, this is even more important. When you just get out of college, it’s like starting all over again. The dating game is different than in college. Most guys meet their girlfriend through work or friends, but if you have no clue how to initiate that….you’re stuck. It’s not like college where you can just crash a party and meet some girl.
Professional women, especially who have aspirations and have something going on besides their looks, are sometimes too busy to go out at night. They will be working their assess off and work on their career. You might be able to catch these trophies using day game, but if you are already doing that and you add social circle game on top off that you’ll get more AWESOME women than you handle.
To my older audience, you might recognize yourself in this situation. When you get older, you’ll see most of your friends settling down. Your buddies are settling down with their girlfriend or even getting married (maybe even having kids!), but then you’re still single. I know tons of guys in that situation….and they HATE it. Their friends are getting babies and there you are trying to figure out what to do with your dating life. Trust me, you don’t want to be in that situation.
(One of the fastest ways to get depressed is comparing yourself to other people who have it better than you AND thinking that you’re lacking that in your area of life. Please don’t do that.)
I highly suggest you get on this free conference call. If you are remotely interested in increasing the number of awesome women in your life, you want to get on this call. Some things you will discover:
- Crucial differences between meeting women through friends and cold approach (if you don’t know you’re blowing your chances of getting the queen bee).
- Tips and tricks on becoming one of the popular guys within your group of friends (I want to say “become the alpha male” but that’s so 2001).
- How to build attraction with women in social circle settings.
- Simple techniques for getting multiple women to CHASE YOU (one of the reasons I love social circle game).
- And many more…..
To get on the call is really easy. Click here to find out more. Did I mention it’s free? You have nothing to lose, so do yourself a favor and get on there. You can punch me in the face if you don’t get any value out of the call (which I doubt pretty much when you have Savoy and Braddock on the call). So again, click here if you want to be on the call before Jan 11 2011.
It has been a while since I last blogged. Last time must has been around mid-September. There was a server hiccup which lost all my blog files, drafts (so much awesome content gone forever), comments, and images. Fortunately I was able to restore all images back to normal (there were some pixelated images restored earlier) and also all the comments are back up. So it’s back to 99% to its old state.
I’m a schizophrenic when it comes to backing up. I backup every week religiously both through Mozy for cloud storage and through a local backup on an external backup. So if I ever lose my laptop or my data is gone, I’ll only lose a week of work. So through digging all these archives I’ve been able to make this blog like it was. So happy about that.
Reality is, it was a lot of work getting everything back up and also it kind of made me stop blogging for a bit. After some grinding it’s back up. So I’m ready again to release some awesome content for in 2011.
I have big plans for 2011 and I’ll definitely blog about them. Stay tuned.
I came across an interesting thread on the biggest dating advice forum for men The Attraction Forums. The topic is about a phrase I hear all to often: “She is out of your league.” You can read the thread here. The main point of the thread is that there is some truth that some women are out of your league, with a caveat. Below is my response in the thread, but I added some additional content to it.
On a superficial level, no girl is out of your league. Just because a girl is extremely beautiful, that doesn’t mean that you can’t get her. When it comes to dating, meaning over a longer period of time seeing each other, I would say there is some sort of “league.”
Generally people tend to date within their socio-economic status. There is research to back this up (google it if you want). Like it was said earlier, a super model will not date a burger-flipper at McDonalds. If a woman is used to dating wealthy men, guess what…she will end up dating MOST of the time a wealthy man.
Based on just the looks of a woman, you cannot tell what her socio-economic status is. I’ve dated hot girls who were really poor (typical in Los Angeles lol) and I’ve dated hot girls who were well off. You won’t know her lifestyle until you actually go out with her and date her for a bit. Whenever you first meet a girl and take her home the same day/night, socio-economic status plays no role at all. Once you two get more serious, then it does.
One girl I met was used to dating really wealthy men. When we started dating more, she started to complain to me how she was used to going on far trips, having a limo drive her everywhere, guys paying for gifts, etc. With my current income I couldn’t sustain her lifestyle so naturally we don’t date anymore. Last time I checked my Facebook, she is still living the glamor lifestyle she is so used too.
What is interesting is that we would sleep with each other once a while even though she was dating other guys. Why? Because these guys could play the “provider” for her while I could be the “sex-worthy” guy for her, but in the end it wasn’t good enough to keep her around. That’s the reality. I could have said that I was sick and tired of her BS, but the reality is she was used to having this extravagant lifestyle that I couldn’t offer her. I could offer her good sex, but not the lifestyle. And as we all know, relationships based on just sex don’t last forever.
On the other side, within social circle situations and situations where you have to take girls out on several dates, socio-economic status does play a bigger role because the woman can size you up over a longer period of time and see if you two are “compatible” that way.
If you meet a girl who is used to going on fancy and expensive dinner dates, you want to make sure your date gives off the same idea/vibe. Taking her to a college sports bar will make you lose points. That doesn’t mean your date has to be expensive too, but it will have to be a bit more classier.
So does money get women? Indirectly, yes. Money won’t get you women directly, but it gets you in the door. When it comes to dating hot girls, most of the time it’s about access. You need to be at places where they are. A lot. This is where money can be of great help, because it can buy you access to places. Most simplified example is bottle service. Some exclusive clubs require that you have bottle service or you won’t get in. Guess what….at those clubs are also the more desirable women. So yes, money does help INDIRECTLY getting hot girls. if you have the money to buy yourself access to places where hot women are, and you add Love Systems skills on top of that, you’ll be MONEY! :-)
There are always exceptions, but generally people do date within their socio-economic status. So learning Love Systems skills is one way to go to play a better league. If you can add a good career and an interesting lifestyle on top of that, you will live the life of a playboy.
My point is, no matter how beautiful the woman is and what your socio-economic status is, you can still get “that” girl. Even if you don’t make that much money, you can still pick up beautiful women with the right skills. Money becomes an issue when you and her are getting really serious, like in exchanging social circles and moving in together. Even then, if you two really love each other it shouldn’t be a huge obstacle.
One of my close friends isn’t making that much money. He just graduated college and is working a 9-5 office job, but he is dating a really beautiful and successful girl. I would date her myself if he didn’t meet her before me. She is a pretty successful CPA and makes way more money than my friend does, but she is still dating him despite their socio-economic difference. In fact, they are looking into moving in together soon.
Don’t let your annual income situation hold you back from approaching beautiful women. I used to be in that situation a couple years ago. I was a broke college student, drove a shitty car, but every week I would go out and meet the hottest girls I could find. I’ve dated beautiful girls even though I was broke. Like I said earlier, some girls even broke up with me because of my tight money situation. No big deal, because I know that there are many more girls out there just as beautiful as her. I’ve also met girls who didn’t make that big of a deal out it, and they are the majority.
Now of course you can improve your odds of consistently dating beautiful women if you become more successful yourself. I really fixed my own money situation. I started to work full-time, bought a nicer car, and made more money. For social circles, this was the perfect image to have (your image is really important in social circle game). For girls I was seriously dating for a bit, I could do more fun things with them. If you can expand your green zone then you’ll have a bigger probability of dating beautiful girls. Despite that, don’t let your money situation hold you back from approaching and dating extremely beautiful women.
One of the corner stones of building comfort and rapport with anyone is having commonalities. Regardless of race, sex, or age we naturally try to build commonalities when we are engaging someone in conversation, but I’ ve noticed no one really explained why we do it. We generally know that if two people have something in common, they get along better. I knew that since I was a kid. Nothing new there, but that doesn’t really answer the question of “why do people get along better when they have something in common?”
It wasn’t until recently when I was taking a shower that it hit me why commonalities are important. The real force behind commonalities is that when you see someone else have something you also have in common, it reinforces the beliefs and decisions you’ve made are good.
I repeat: Commonalities reinforce the beliefs and decisions you’ve made are good.
Just think about it. If you are an activist for green energy and you meet someone who is also into that, you will feel (subconsciously) that you have made the right decision to be a green energy activist, because you see someone is what you are. It’s very validating to see that, especially if the belief, lifestyle, or occupation, etc, is a big part of your life. The bigger the role it plays in your life, the more validating it is when you meet someone who shares that aspect of your life.
When I was in London, fellow Love Systems instructor sheriff and I were talking about women and our preferences. One thing that struck me was when he said (paraphrased): “When I meet a girl who is a third culture kid, it is game over. I’m all over her.” Not so surprisingly, sheriff is a third culture kid himself (someone brought up in one or many environments that weren’t their own culture). Compare that to meeting a girl that is from the same city you are from. It’s not as validating, right?
My point is, when it is a big commonality it’s very validating to see someone else who shares that with you. You instantly connect with that person because you know there are so many things you guys have in share; same beliefs, same decisions, similar life experiences, and so on. You can make someone feel this validation too by trying to find (impactful) commonalities. The easiest way is by playing the “question game”. Just make sure you fire off the right questions, which Braddock has a huge list of questions for the question game.
You can dig for commonalities for building comfort and rapport with girls you want to date, but you can do it the wrong way too by either getting into “interview mode” (asking many questions back-to-back when it’s not part of the question game) or getting in the friend zone (having too much rapport with no escalation). The former is what I see a lot. You see it back with guys who aren’t aware of Love Systems and try to pickup women. Right off the bat of the conversation they will try to dig deep with the girl to see if he has any commonalities.
“Where are you from?”
“What do you do?
“What’s your favorite movie/tv show/color/X?”
And so on…..
As soon as the girl answers his question, the guy will try to see if he and she have something in common. If they do, then the guy bought himself a couple more seconds. If not, he will usually fire off another question to find commonalities.
In a lot of cases if the guy and the girl have something remotely in common, the guy will throw it out there but most of the time it won’t score points.
Guy: “Where are you from?”
Girl: “I’m from Santa Monica”
Guy: “No way….I have a friend who lives there.”
WHO CARES YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO LIVES THERE TOO?
I see this type of dialogue week in, week out. In most cases this type of dialogue will bore girls. One thing Future always says is that boredom is one of the kryptonites for attraction. To avoid the typical interview mode try to mix statements with questions. Every question can be restated as an statement. Instead of asking “where are you from?” you can say “You look like you’re from the Mid-west, because you’re so friendly.” Whether I’m right or wrong, she will let me know where she’s from. This is what we call a cold-read. If I’m right, I seem intuitive and I’m “in.” If I’m wrong, she will let me know where she is from. Win-win.
Trying to build (too many) commonalities before the girl is attracted is a fast ticket to boredom and friend-zone planet. That’s why within the Love Systems Triad Model, in the emotional progression you see that attraction comes before comfort. That’s also why I advocate using the question game mid-way in the conversation when you know the girl is attracted to you.
Before you start building commonalities with a girl, she should be first attracted to you. If she is not attracted to you, most of the time she will not want to invest in the conversation. Especially not building commonalities, that should be saved for later on. If want to know how to build attraction with women (and how to get started with dating more beautiful women), I highly suggest you pick up a copy of Magic Bullets.
Though you are right on the statement that it reinforces the beliefs and decisions part, you are forgetting A LOT. I don’t mean to insult you dude, but honestly, you’re an instructor and it seems like you’re not that knowledgeable about the psychology of girls (which is obviously what the methods are about).
Example: If I broke my leg, and I’m wearing a cast, and I find a girl in the same situation, I would value her. Obviously not because it reinforces that my beliefs and decisions are correct…
It’s because I have someone else to talk to it about and share my pain. Though this was a shitty example for game, it still applies to it. There are SO MANY MORE ways somebody will value another person through commonalities, not just reinforcing that I was right about certain things.
I just got back from a trip to London to celebrate Jeremy Soul’s birthday. As I’m blogging about this fun trip, I’m still recovering from the weekend. As Jeremy would say, “I’m getting old man…” says the guy who just turned 27.
So friday morning I woke up at 6am, got some breakfast and headed out to catch the train to the airport. The public transport system is really good in The Netherlands (currently where I’m vacationing), something that is non-existent in Los Angeles. Once I arrived in London, Jeremy picked me up from the train station. I stayed at his place for two nights. A couple hours after my arrival we would head to central London and grab some beers with Farmer It was my first time meeting Farmer and he is a really cool guy. Over some British beers we catched up on things and we did some daytime dating too.
Now London is generally not known for having a lot of beautiful women. After living in Los Angeles and numerous Las Vegas trips, my standards for beauty is set pretty high. Any other city I’ll be visiting really has to compete, although I still want to see Miami, Stockholm, Oslo, and Moscow before I make a final judgment which city has the most beautiful women. One thing I do know is that London will not be in top 10. Every city has its 1% women, but in London they were VERY rare.
When I was at the Spearmint Rhino in London a couple hours later (with Farmer & Mr M), I gave London another shot. They had some beautiful women there. It was my first time at a strip club in the UK, so I was curious how my Love Systems skills, especially stripper game, would be different. Turns out, it’s not that much different. I just did my thing like I normally do and met this half swedish/latvian girl with ease. So all my posts on stripper game are now officially UK approved too!
One thing I forgot to mention was that I finally got Soul to get into stripper game. I also got Farmer into it after we went to Spearmint Rhino. They both love it now. So I know already what’s going to happen at the Las Vegas Super Conference after hours….
The next day I met up with Jeremy, 5.0, sheriff, and Farmer to have some coffee and tea. Damn British people. They really do drink too much coffee and tea. We talked some shit on each other, had deep philosophical debates, and exchanged some next level Love Systems material you can’t even get the upcoming Super Conference (video here) or the Advanced Playboy Mansion bootcamp.
We bounced to a restaurant to meet up with Mr M and his roommate (or “flat mate” as the British say). We shared some Thai food and talked a lot about some social circle game and business stuff. We later went to a big club in London and because we were so bored of talking to girls in old fashion, we decided to spice it up by doing Keys To The VIP alike missions. It was hilarious, from saying the stupidest lines we gave each other to getting possessions from girls within 10 seconds.
It was great seeing the London based instructors. Normally I only see them when they come to the Super Conference, but it was great to see them in their own city. I’ll be back there again for another round of fun (and debauchery).
All the proof is in the video below.
Some great news for people who want to see me speak live. At the upcoming PUA World Summit, Dubbsy and yours truly will be speaking. We can’t reveal yet what we will talking about, but you can expect it will be cutting edge.
There is a long history between me and the PUA World Summit. I think I’ve been to every one for the last two years. The first time was when I saw Nick Savoy speaking. He was talking about female psychology (undoubtedly his favorite topic) and seduction. After he was done talking, I remember telling him how could make more money if he did X and Y. He said it was a good idea and would take it in consideration. Fast forward about a year later when I started to work at the Love Systems office and now this is what I do on a weekly basis :-)
Last year Daxx was one of the speakers and I was there to support him. I wasn’t an official instructor by then. So first I was a student and this year I’ll be one of the speakers. The same story goes for the Super Conference a couple weeks later. In my opinion every dating coach should be able to empathize with people who are following his work. That’s why we at Love Systems make sure that every coach was once a student before.
To get an idea what you can expect at the PUA World Summit, check out the video below:
I hope to see you there. Definitely say hi if you can catch me because I love getting in touch with my blog readers.
No this isn’t what you think….this is about the preferences of girls of a couple Love Systems instructors, with the twist that the girls are represented by a porn star / adult actress. Not the actual girls they are dating. I’ve worked with all the current Love Systems coaches and I got to see what kind of women they prefer. So I thought, I’d share it with the rest of the world. I only included the lead instructors (the ones that are teaching bootcamps) or else I would have to write this for hours since we now have about 30 instructors (most out of every dating company in our industry).
Without further ado…..
This was a tough one. Tenmagnet is one of the OG and he needs someone who is more classy and sophisticated, which is a rare breed in the adult industry. Plus she needs to have some intelligence. Another rare bread. Fortunately, Kayden Kross fulfills all requirements.
Braddock is the All-American boy out of all instructors. Tall, handsome, from the country-side, drove a tractor and played sports in school. Since his move to Los Angeles all he has been chasing is Socal girls: blond, tan, and blue eyes. So native Southern California girl Britney Amber fits him perfectly.
The man who claims that Moscow has the most beautiful women on the planet. With a history of dating Eastern European girls (and taming them) it’s no surprise Aletta Ocean is the pr0n star for The Don.
As long the girl is not Asian, we are good. I also know Mr M really likes blond girls that have that sex appeal look. This guys knows what sexy looks like and so do I. With the above picture of Jesse Jane, you might now understand why Mr M likes the “sexy look.”
Computer nerd and rave enthusiast Fader loves Latin heat, especially Colombian women (and I don’t blame him). I almost picked Esperanza Gomez since she is from Colombia, but since Fader has been trying to pick up and seduce Jenaveve Jolie on Twitter (LS_Fader) I figured she is the best pick.
Whenever Jeremy and I would do approaches on the street, we were usually going for the same women because we both like brunettes. For him though, he really likes brunettes with fair skin. If they are freaky in bed, even better! What better fit than Ms Freaky….Sasha Grey.
Asa Akira looks like someone made a woman to the exact specifications of my libido. Not a hard choice, Bonsai, but a commendable one.
Like I said before in our car rides in between debauchery times….she has an alien face!
Which one would fit you most Mr.Bonsai ;)
I'm going to have to go with Jayden James. Although Aletta Ocean is a favorite too, but The Don already has her. You?
I'd give my left leg for Aletta Ocean haha. I can't decide between Julia Paes or Eva Angelina.
I'm a big fan of Jennifer White
Amen to her…although I'm sure Soul would like her too.
Can't go wrong with Eva!
aletta ocean i am fan of you i meet my phone number and iam pakistani and engineer
i am fan of you i want to meet you i am pakistani my phone number is 03144090143 plz
This goes out for all my Dutch readers.
On August 22nd, 5.0 and I will be hosting a seminar in Amsterdam! This will be a fun and educational seminar. What makes this one unique is that this is the first time where a US based instructor and UK based instructor are teaching a seminar together.
Also, since I’m a native Dutchman you will hear me ramble a bit in Dutch :-)
5.0 will be talking about daytime dating: how to meet women in daytime environments, covering the approach all the way to the first date. I will be talking about how to pick up strippers, bartenders, and waitresses.
We only have 40 seats available and it’s first come, first serve. So book your tickets now before it is sold out.
You can sign up here!
THAT cheap? That's sooooo unfair! Wish I was there!
You can still fly over. The expenses added up will make it seem more pricey and worthwhile for sure ;)
In case you haven’t heard about it, the #1 day game expert in the world Jeremy Soul is releasing his book Daytime Dating. It’s all about meeting, attracting, and seducing women in daytime environments. He really broke down the simple steps necessary to meet women in the day (“day game”). There are some differences between night game and day game.
Just because you might be really good at picking up girls in bars and clubs, does not mean you will be good at day game. A couple months ago Jeremy stayed at my place for a week and he was putting the finishing touches on it. What I really liked the most is the chapter on Conversational Mapping. This is a technique Jeremy Soul came up with it and basically what it does is that you will NEVER run out of things to say, but tailored for daytime environments.
If you can apply conversation mapping into your Love Systems skills, you will have absolutely no problem attracting women in coffee shops, malls, streets, and any place you find women in the daytime. I’m a living proof it. My day game used to be horrible till I started to hang out with Jeremy Soul. When he showed me conversation mapping, it blew my mind how powerful it is. That is just one of the chapters in Daytime Dating. There’s a sample chapter available to get a feel for what the book is like. Definitely check it out coming out August 5th.
It was that time of the year. The advanced bootcamp was going to take place at the Playboy Mansion. This is a special workshop because that’s when the really advanced teachings of Love Systems are being taught to get those super hot girls. We’re not saying that you can’t pickup super hot girls with regular a bootcamp, you definitely can (as many former students can attest) but at the advanced bootcamp we really zoom in on specific things to get these girls.
As a little kid I always wanted to go to the Playboy Mansion. Growing up I used to watch a lot of TV and music videos that had clips of bunnies hopping around at the Playboy Mansion. I remember sitting in class talking with my friends how one day we are going to be at the legendary playground and get a playmate.
Fast forward a decade and a dream came true. I was lucky enough to join Nick Savoy and Future to cause some havoc at the most extravagant mansion I’ve ever been too. Nowhere else have I seen so many million dollar cars on a lawn and half naked women walking around. It was awesome just being there. But let me back track a bit again.
Savoy doesn’t really teach workshops anymore. He’s too busy with running the day to day business side of Love Systems but the only times he does teach is at the annual advanced bootcamp and Super Conference. However, for me this was the first time seeing Nick teach some advanced concepts of Love Systems. So I sat in front row and acted like a student by taking notes, asking questions, and vigorously listening what the big man had to say.
I know Savoy is a smart guy. I work with him every day. But this time I had the chance to see him in a different setting where he is teaching. Wow. This time he wasn’t holding back. Future, who is one of the veterans of Love Systems, was also taking notes. Yeah, it was that insightful, advanced, and awesome.
There was one section where Savoy taught very specific Love Systems techniques for Las Vegas. He taught one technique on how you use black jack to pull girls. This part alone was worth $$$!
After the seminar Future and I went back to Savoy’s pimp bachelor pad to get ready for the night. I was so psyched because I was going to lose my PB Mansion virginity. All three of us hop in the cab and off we went.
We get at the mansion and all I see is hot girls in skimpy outfits. I liked the start of the night already. Even though I was like a kid in a candy store, I was there to work. I take my job very serious and my focus was 100% on the students. Well…not true. 99% on students, 0.5% on looking at the women there and 0.5% figuring out how one of them is going to end up with me. Yes, there is a place for having decimal points in Love Systems (inside joke with Savoy and Future).
I worked with one guy in particular. He shared a similar background as me: studied finance, Asian, wants to date Caucasian girls (he had limiting beliefs on that), and is a cool person.
So he had the limiting belief that he couldn’t date Caucasian girls. He had success with Asian girls, but none with white girls. Sounds familiar? Yessssir. I used to have that limiting belief too.
When it comes to limiting beliefs, one part of destroying it is by seeing that it is not true. You can tell a person a belief might not be true, but it still won’t have that much of an effect. However, when that person can visually see that there is proof that contradicts that belief, he can slowly work on overcoming that limiting belief. That night I showed him that an average/ugly Asian guy, like myself, can pickup hot white girls. By him seeing me do it, I was slowly destroying his limiting belief.
Towards the end of the night every remaining student was talking to playmates and murdering the mansion. A fun part of the night was introducing Savoy to every hot blond girl I was talking to, because blond girls is like kryptonite to him. Savoy is in a monogamous relationship so he had to behave that night (he still did demos of course). I decided to have some fun with that. Sometimes I would approach a blond girl on purpose so I could introduce her to Savoy and sometimes he would give me that look of “Thanh, I hate you and love you at the same time…” Hahaha.
About half an hour before closing time Savoy points out this hot girl that he really likes. Of course she was blond. But since he had to behave that night, my inner Barney Stinson came out and I said “I accept the challenge!” Then right before closing time we left together.
Daytime Dating expert Jeremy Soul just posted this video online where you can see him try to take a girl home. It’s too funny. There is some hidden pickup and dating advice in there too. Do you see it ?
Ever since I put up my page on private 1on1 training I’ve been really busy with training guys in private sessions. That’s on one hand good, but on the other hand this blog suffers a bit. So the next couple of weeks I’m going to step it up again.
A few weeks ago I did some training with a guy who wanted to work on his Love Systems skills and he wanted to learn how to pickup strippers. We did three days of training and he made a lot of progress and ever since our 1on1 he has been picking up strippers left and right. He recently recorded an audio testimonial for me and you can find it below.
If you are interested in working with me, don’t hesitate to contact me.
I’m a big proponent of social media. In my vision, the next couple of years social media will change the online marketing. When you look closer, it already has with the rise of Facebook and Twitter. However, I never realized how you can use it to meet girls!
Around the Love Systems office is a coffee shop I always go to get an everything bagel with egg. It’s my favorite breakfast / lunch food there. As I walk in, I see a gorgeous girl sitting by herself reading a newspaper. I’m not really established yet in that coffee shop where I have social proof I can use to meet women.
To be honest, I was a little hesitant to approach her. I’m barely awake, she is the first stranger I talk to,
I had to go back to work before Savoy breathes down my neck, and I was basically being a chicken. The first girl you want to meet in the daytime is always the hardest one. Once you’ve talked to that one, the other ones following are easy. This girl also didn’t give me any eye contact to make it a lukewarm approach so this was a real cold approach.
So there I was, chickening out whether I should talk to her. What do I do ? The bad move: I get my phone and start checking Twitter and email. That’s the last thing you want to do before you do an approach. Don’t get yourself in an thinking state.
So I fire up foursquare on my iPhone and start checking in. Lo and behold, I can see that one person is checked in the same coffee shop I’m in. Maybe it was faith, but it was the girl I was hesitant to approach! The game gods wanted me to talk to her.
Whenever you check-in on foursquare, you can see the first name of every person and the first initial of the last name. With that knowledge, I knew had to approach this girl.
Me: Hey Dana.
Her: Huh? Do I know you?
Me: No you actually don’t, but I saw on foursquare that you’re checked in here. So I thought I’d talk to you while I wait for my bagel.
Her: Wow I can’t believe this.
Me: Yeah I know. Whoever thought foursquare could help charming single guys meet girls.
Me: I’m Thanh btw.
Her: Well you know my name already. [shake hands]
Me: What is it that you’re reading about?
And off we go into our conversation. I knew that if I didn’t go talk to her, I would regret it. One thing Braddock always says on bootcamp is: rejection weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. I’ll take rejection over regret any time of the day. That’s easy to say in hindsight, but I cannot stress this enough.
I don’t want to ponder whether I should have talked to that girl. Or what if I should have done X or Y. What I do know is that the girl could have been my next girlfriend. Who knows. You won’t know till you have talked to the girl.
My buddy Starlight is now in China trying to master the language. I’ve seen him speak Mandarin. It’s really weird seeing a tall white guy speaking Mandarin. It’s like seeing me speak Dutch. It’s just weird and funny at the same time.
He recently started posting his adventures in Asia when he did a bootcamp tour with Future, whim and Micha. I got some behind-the-scenes info and let me tell you….these guys are crazy and had fun. You can read about him dispelling myths on picking up asian women and how one guy tried to get his girl in pathetic manner. Hilarious!
Most people who study Love Systems eventually want to find that one special girl and settle down. I don’t blame them. What’s so bad about having that one girl you’re in love with and you want to spend time with? Nothing. In fact, I eventually want to settle down too. However, there is a condition attached to that.
Before I settle down with one girl, I want to make sure that I have the most compatible girl and she is someone I can see myself with for a long period of time. Now to get to that point, I first have to know what I want and need in a girl.
This something my buddy Future talks a lot about. Know what you want in a girl. But how do you know what you want in a girl? By dating a lot of different women.
Taste and preferences change over periods of time. One year you might want brunettes, a couple months later you prefer blonds. You want to settle with a girl that you’re physically attracted to (of course). Does hair color play a deciding factor for someone you want to date long-term? Not really. For you to find out what you want and need in a girl long-term you have date a lot of different girls.
By d ating I me an seeing a girl for a longer period of time and you have a strong emotional connection with her. That doesn’t mean that you’re girlfriend and boyfriend…but it could heading there.
This is what I’ve learned from having casual relationships (besides the golden rule of friends with benefits). After each girl you date, your column of “want in a girl” and “don’t want in a girl” becomes longer and longer.
For guys who have never dated a girl before, those two columns are based on zero experience. That’s fine. If you’re one of them, make sure that you learn Love Systems and start dating girls (fastest way is to take a bootcamp). For you who have had a couple relationships, this list is probably a couple items long. My advice to you guys is similar: start dating more women.
I want you to be at a point where you know what the dating has to offer and you really know what you want in a girl for a long-term relationship. I remember when Nick Savoy told me how he stopped dating other women and stuck with his current girlfriend. He said: “I know what’s out there and I think I found someone who has it all…” (paraphrased). In fact, he just blogged about that in his post commitmentphobia, choice and relationships.
I can’t stress this enough. The more girls you date, the more you will discover what type of girl you REALLY want. Your wants and needs are based on real (past) experiences. Not something imaginary.
Also by dating more and different types of girls, you can compare girls with each other and figure out what you need to put in your “wants” and “don’t wants” columns.
Let me give you an analogy with car buying. Imagine you’re in a position where money is not an issue and you want to find the perfect car for yourself. What do you do? You’re going to test drive every single car you ever have wanted to get, from Mercedes to Ferrari to Lamborghini and so on.
If you just test drive a bunch of Mercedes cars and think you found the perfect car, you’re wrong. You can’t really say that unless you have tried out all the different brands and models. You might like the steering in a BMW M5 but you like the interior of a Ferrari. So your quest continues until you’ve find that car who has everything you want.
The same ideas applies to find that perfect girl. If you have good Love Systems skills (unlimited money) and want the perfect girl (car) you need to date different types of girls (test drive different cars).
Too many guys nowadays just settle with the first girl they can get. It makes me cringe every single time I see it happening. Most of the time those relationships don’t work out. There’s a reason why divorce rates are so high.
NOTE: One good natural side effect of dating a lot of different girls is that your qualification skills become a lot better over time. You start screening girls better and that’s because you genuinely know what you want in a girl.
All in all, don’t just settle with the first girl you get. Go out, explore the dating pool, and enjoy the journey of finding that one special girl.
Today Nick Savoy and Cajun (famous for his performance on Keys To The VIP) are having a conference call on body language and subcommunications. I remember the first time I worked with Cajun on a bootcamp. At that time I wasn’t an official instructor yet. One thing I really learned from him was body language. The man has studied many famous and infamous people on their body language. He even studied the Greek statues and deciphering their body language and postures.
I was really impressed with his knowledge on the subject. I’m going to be tuning to the conference call too because I can never learn enough from Cajun on this topic. If you want to attend this (free) call too, just click here for more info.
These were some great tips! looking forward to the product!
body language is one of the most imporant think you must notice if you are dating a girl! Great tips
Dating bootcamps and workshops are a great investment in yourself. Over a couple days you will change into a person you have always wanted to be: the guy who can be successful around beautiful women.
You learn the tricks of the trade on how to become a guy that is attractive to women. Plus, you know how to connect with women and eventually start a relationship. After taking a bootcamp myself with Love Systems, helping out on Love Systems bootcamps and eventually turning instructor, I noticed a few things on how you can get the most out of a bootcamp. Here are 10 tips for getting most out of a Love Systems bootcamp.
1. Do some approaches before taking a bootcamp. The more field experience you have, the more you will get out of a bootcamp. If you still have approach anxiety (you are afraid approaching women), try to get it under control as soon as possible. Start approaching women till you feel like you have your approach anxiety under a controllable feeling. My estimate is that a couple hundred approaches are sufficient to be able to approach most women.
If you have approach anxiety before taking the bootcamp, do not worry. At the end of the bootcamp, you should have very small levels of approach anxiety. You will get taught how to get rid of approach anxiety as much as possible. It never goes away, but you can learn to control it and not let affect your game.
2. Study before bootcamp. It’s not a requirement to have read any dating material. Over the course of three days, you will all the information you need to successfully attract and date beautiful women.
If you have studied beforehand, like reading Magic Bullets and Routines Manual, and you know and understand most of the concepts then the teaching at the bootcamp will make more sense. You will still learn a lot of new things but material will click faster if you’ve studied beforehand.
3. Get rested. We don’t call it “bootcamp” for nothing. You will be emotionally, physically, and mentally drained at the end of the third day. During the day you will take a lot of notes, concentrate, do exercises, and you will go out too picking up girls! While this is fun it is also very intensive and it requires a lot of energy. That is why you want to be complete rested before you attend your bootcamp. If you’re coming from another city, arrive at the bootcamp city a day before.
4. Take notes. This may seem obvious, but write as many notes as you can. Don’t just listen and absorb the information, even if you hear information you might already know. After the bootcamp you have material you can reference. You won’t be able to go back to a bootcamp (unless you’re willing to pay for it of course), so have those notes written down. I still go over my bootcamp notes once a while.
5. Tell your instructor what your level of game is. It doesn’t matter how good you are already, even advanced guys go to bootcamps to elevate their game. But to get better feedback, let your instructors know what your level of game is.
Your answers to these questions are very useful for instructors so they can give you REALLY GOOD feedback.
6. Ask questions. A bootcamp is a life changing experience and you’ve paid a lot of money for it. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to instructors no matter how stupid you think it is. Every student is there for the same reason: to improve their dating life. So don’t be ashamed to ask questions. Instructors are there to help YOU.
7. After your infield sessions write down all your thoughts. You will get live feedback from instructors and also at the end of the night. Try to remember as much as possible. Before you go to sleep write all your ideas, thoughts, and feedback down while they are still fresh. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, just write down what is going through your mind. Writing will reinforce your ideas and thoughts. Then the next day, the bootcamp will start with a debrief and evaluation of the previous night. Take your notes out that you have written down before you went to sleep. Discuss them with the class and the instructors.
8. Make friends and find wingmen. Having a good wingman is convenient and makes your game so much better too. He can run interference, occupying people, motivate you, and give feedback. Sadly, good wingmen are hard to find. Fortunately, your fellow bootcamp comrades are the perfect candidates to become your wing. You guys went through the same experience, have the same goals, and studied the same material. Make friends with the buddies at bootcamp because you guys can be each other’s wingman!
9. Go out with your wingmen. This goes back to the previous point. Taking a bootcamp is just the beginning of self-improvement. What’s the point of taking a bootcamp if you will not implement the teachings? The majority of the work is up to you. The bootcamp is merely a weekend of learning and showing you the tools and techniques. So go out and practice what you have learned with your fellow bootcamp comrades. In fact, Jeremy Soul also said that having a good wingman will help your game more than anything after a workshop.
10. Lounge Access
As part of attending a Love Systems bootcamp you will get exclusive access to the Lounge. It’s a private only for Love Systems instructors and people who have taken a bootcamp. That way you are guaranteed to get advice from people who know what they are talking about. Instructors post daily their latest ideas and tips. Plus it’s full of content (dating back to 2004!) that you will not find anywhere else.
Everyone can get a better sense for fashion and style. Just like learning Love Systems, you will mess it up the first couple of times but over time you will define your own style and will look more attractive.
It took me a couple years of trial and error to really find out what kind of look fits me. In fact, I’m still working on it. Sometimes I want to go more hip, other times I want the more young entrepreneur look. Who knows what it might be a year from now. After a while I found what worked for me and I even have a list of my favorite clothing brands now.
In order for you to find out what kind of style fits you, you will need to experiment. The first step is to educate yourself on the basics of fashion and style. So I came up with 4 tips that should help you find your style and improve your sense for fashion.
1. Get Details and GQ magazine. You don’t need a subscription to these magazines, although that would help, but try to regularly buy a copy so you can go through it. Look at the people and what they are wearing. Certain colors are more trendy during a certain season. So are certain pieces. Slowly over time you will recognize what colors works best with your skin tone, what pieces of clothing are trendy, and so on.
2. Start a look book. A look book is a folder where you keep photos or images of looks that you really like. Start collecting these looks and keep them in one folder. Once you have a bunch of looks that you like, you will slowly start to see what kind of style you like based on the number of looks that look similar to each other.
So make a new folder on your computer, name it “look book”, and now every time you see a cool look, save the image in your look book folder. You can use these sites below as a starting point to collect looks. I oftentimes look at celebrities at what they are wearing. Why? Because these people usually have professional stylists dress them.
Use these sites as starting points:
3. Buy these two books.
-Details Men’s Style Manual
-Esquire The Handbook of Style
These books explain the very basics of fashion and style. What’s a good fit? What pieces of clothing should every guy own? What types of shirt should you wear at X occasion? These questions and a lot more get answered in these books. Must have.
4. Look at the mannequins. This related to tip #2. Whenever you enter a clothing store, the first thing you want to look at (besides the beautiful women in there) are the mannequins. These are dressed up by HQ of the company where a team of stylist decided what the best looks are. You almost can’t go wrong by simply copying the mannequin. Try to figure out why the stylist made that look work, copy it, and then personalize it.
This is in no particular order.
I really like this brand. It’s cheap and it has good fit. The quality is decent. Usually H&M clothing doesn’t last longer than a year, except for maybe their jackets.
This is a brand I got introduced to not too long ago. The style is more GQ-ish and it is very affordable. A lot of clothing in GQ is out of the price range for people. If you want to dress like people you see in GQ, Zara (and a little more expensive version is Hugo Boss) is a good brand to go to.
3. Hugo Boss
Stay classy. I buy shirts and suits here. Very GQ-ish and kind of has an upscale look to it. You can’ go wrong with their dress and button up shirts.
I love their jeans and jackets. Especially their jeans. They last forever and the fabric is recognizable. It’s a bit pricey but their jeans will last you a lifetime. Their clothes have a nice European fit. Although some pieces have their brand logo all over, the ones that don’t look priceless.
5. Dolce & Gabanna
The only things I buy from D&G are shoes and t-shirts. The are pricey but the quality makes up for it. The shoes are usually very edgy and standout, especially their casual and sneaker line.
Jackets. G-star jackets are among my favorites. Did you know G-star was founded in The Netherlands (my home country)? I used to wear jeans a lot, but in the Netherlands everyone wears those. Here in LA I don’t see them that much.
7. True Religion
Love the jeans. I own about the same number of pair of TR jeans as Diesel jeans. The quality is great, fit is great (although I need the length tailored), and they have jeans in all different washes and colors.
Last week I recorded an interview with J The Ripper on his CC podcast. JTR and I started off around the same time with studying pickup and we both also started together becoming an approach coach for Love Systems.
I love Twitter. When I first got introduced to it, maybe two years ago, I thought it was retarded. Now I’m a big fan of it. Twitter gives you the opportunity to get to know someone without actually knowing the person in real life. Plus I can stay up-to-date on what my friends are doing.
If you haven’t been following me on Twitter, feel free to add me here. Once a while I share pictures, insider secrets of Love Systems, and dating tips you can use right away. If you’ve been reading my reviews of my coaching you can read that I share a ton of gold nuggets. So subscribe to my Twitter for more nuggets :)
If you’re an avid user of Twitter and/or Facebook, you might have seen those status updates of people sharing where they exactly are. No, I don’t mean the ones like “I’m at Coachella! It’s amazing!!!! Love the people here. I’m about to trip…..” but those semi-automated ones. Like the one above of mine recently.
If you are unfamiliar with social location sharing, check out this video of Kevin Rose (the guy behind Digg). Basically on your mobile phone, if you have an app like foursquare installed, it can pull up the venue / store / restaurant you are at based on your current location. Also, it plays the social media game, so you can add friends and if they use it you can actually see where they are. Also, you can checkout venues and see which users are there. Check out the video below to see understand what social location sharing is.
Now this is an interesting idea. Before you go out, you can actually check out the venue to see if hot girls are there, if the ratio is good, or check if you’re friends are there (yet). The possibilities are almost countless. I first ran across this idea when I read this post by the G Manifesto (subscribe to his blog, it’s awesome). Gotta give credit where it’s due. I won’t discuss the disadvantages of social location sharing, especially when you have stalkers (that’s why you don’t want to date strippers long-term, a lot of them are crazy and stalkers)! But overall, I’m totally for this new movement of location sharing.
I’m a big user of foursquare. You can follow me on Twitter and kind of see where I am. Before you know it, we might be in the same coffee shop! Whenever I go out, sometimes people do recognize me and say hi to me. That’s cool! Now I’m waiting for someone to say, “Hey Bonsai I saw on twitter that you were here tonight, so I had to come over and meet you!” while I’m trying to talk to a beautiful girl :-). That would be awesome for multiple reasons.
My two fellow coaches Keychain and 5.0 are coming to the Netherlands April 29. For those who don’t know, I grew up in The Netherlands, so I’m glad to see Love Systems is getting more involved in my home country.
One night these two comrades will share everything they know on pickup, dating, and relationships. I know I have a bunch of Dutch readers on my blog, so if you’re reading this definitely check it out! Get your cheap tickets here.
I’m going to be in San Francisco from Monday till Wednesday for ad:tech. I would love to meet everyone who is going to be there and reads my blog. Free dating advice, crazy stories, and beer with yours truly :)
You can email me and we’ll get in touch, or leave a comment behind.
I’ve been working on my social circle game for the last couple months. One of the reasons I got into exclusive parties was because of social circle game. My goal is to always keep expanding my social circle and meeting people that I can bring value to and they can bring value to me. One of the great things I like about social circle game is that you can work multiple girls at the same time. I will explain that here in depth.
First I want you to understand how a social circle works. Imagine a social circle as a pyramid. See image below.
Every social circle has the “top dogs.” These are the guys that are the most popular (oftentimes also most outgoing or wealthy) and the women are the most attractive. That’s where you want to be and most of the time, women in the green area will only date the men in the green area.
There is also a bottom where these people are exactly the opposite of the top dogs. Not popular, most of them don’t know the top dogs very well, or are new to the social circle. This is not where you want to be.
Whenever you enter a new social circle, it would be best if you come in right in through the top. Majority of time, that is not going to happen. Most likely you will get somewhere in the middle or you get in at the bottom. That’s fine because you can always work your way up to the top. That might take awhile, but it is possible. (On a related note, always accept the first invite whenever you want to get into a social circle.)
The basic idea is, you always want to get as high in the social circle as possible. The higher you are, the more women will be attracted to you and the more women you will date in that social circle. Now that doesn’t mean you need to get to the green area of every social circle. There could be tons of beautiful women who are not the top dogs. That’s great as long you are higher up in the social circle than they are.
One of the attraction switches in Magic Bullets is status. Status in a social circle means that you are up high in the social circle. Or at least, she perceives you as higher up in the social circle than herself. That’s the basics of attraction: she perceives you as higher value than herself.
Now that you understand the basics of social circles, another concept I want you to understand is social proof. In short, if a group of people think you are awesome, others will assume you are awesome. I had a pickup where I explained how you can use social proof in day game to meet women. I suggest you read that first before you continue with the rest of the post.
You are also probably familiar with social proofing a venue. If not, read this post by Dubbsy, fellow Love Systems dating coach, on social proof as part of one-night stands. With social proof you can get a lot of women attracted to you. However, it gets limited to just one girl if you go for one-night stands. Even though you have all these women in the venue attracted to you, at the end of the night there is only one girl you can take home.
It works differently if that night you go for setting up dates. Since you have all that social proof built up and girls are attracted to you, you can just setup dates with a lot of girls. If you’re smart, you do that and then take one girl home that night. Win-win! You have setup a lot of dates and took a girl home. But that’s another worthy post.
Back to the point of this post. When you have social proofed a venue, then the venue is like a mini social circle where you are on top of of the social circle. However, at the end of the night that social circle disappears and so does your value.
You can apply the same idea of social proofing a venue to social circles where you work multiple women at the same time except that you can lock-in your value. Like I said earlier, with social proof in venues you will eventually lose all that value. However, in social circles, value gains are locked in because you will most likely see that person again. So if a girl in a social circle first meets you, she sees that you’re awesome because you have social proof, and then when you guys part ways, she will still think you’re awesome next time you guys see each other again.
That’s the great thing about social circles. You can slowly build your value over time and lock it in. So let’s say you come in at the bottom, you can work your way to the top like the diagram below shows.
Let’s say when you entered a social circle, you came in at the yellow bar. That means that all the women below that yellow bar, will be attracted to you (in simple terms). You can date these women. However, remember what I said earlier: the higher you are in the social circle, the more and hotter women will get attracted to you.
A couple months go by and you have befriended everyone in that social circle. As you get more well known and popular in the social circle, you climb up in that social circle. Now you might be at the purple bar. As you go up, more women will get attracted to you. Now you can date the women who are in the purple area AND the yellow area.
Now this is the main point of this post. As you build your value up in a social circle, all these women who find out about you will become attracted to you. With social circle game you can work multiple women at the same time. When you work on one or two girls as part of building social proof, other girls will eventually find out about you. So the effects of social proof is magnified and spread around like malaria in Africa. By just working on one person and with its positive perception it will be echoed to tons of people in the social circle.
Let’s say you are at the bottom of the social circle. At one party, people see you flirting with one of the top dog girls and she is all over you. Guess what? That’s going to have (massive) effect on all the other girls in the social circle.
Social proof in social circle is so much more powerful than in cold approach. That’s one of the reason I love social circle game. If you put in the effort and have patience, at some point you will date A LOT of women without much effort. The work in the beginning is hard but it will pay off once you become established in a social circle, because then you can pick the women YOU want to date.
I’m sure you still have questions left, like “how do I build social proof in a social circle”, “how do I enter the top of a social circle”, and so on. These are all gems taught at the Social Circle Mastery seminar (DVD is coming out this summer) that Braddock and Mr M came up with.
Definitely check out this video of Braddock where he talks about “buzz” (essentially social proof in social circle). He gives some tips and tricks there.
For more of his college game videos (that apply to social circle game too), check out the college game thread on TAF. He gives away a lot of tips there that will help you with your social circle game!
The point is, with social circle game you don’t have to worry about one girl. You can game multiple girls at the same time and reap the benefits later on.
When I was in college I was a Finance major. I love numbers and mathematical models. However, economics was never my favorite class. Many of the microeconomics topics never really interested me and let’s not even get started on macroeconomics. I’m more of a practical guy. Feed me information I can use today.
There are only two economic concepts that I find useful today. Besides understanding supply and demand, the concept of sunk cost is another one that stuck with me.
According to Business Dictionary, this is the definition of sunk cost:
Money already spent and permanently lost. Sunk costs are past opportunity costs that are partially (as salvage, if any) or totally irretrievable and, therefore, should be considered irrelevant to future decision making.
In other words, if you have put a lot of time and effort into something that is a cost you cannot bring back. In the book Making Great Decisions in Business and Life one of the tips they give on making better decisions is understanding the concept of sunk cost before you make a decision.
One thing the author says is that just because you have put in a lot of investment into something that is non-recoverable, that should not affect how you make your future decisions.
The example they give in the book is where a guy started a new business. He put a lot of personal time and money into the business, but it is losing money in the first couple of years. He is aware that he cannot sustain the business but he keeps it going because already put so much of himself into it.
Is that a good decision? He is losing money after all, but he argues “I’ve put so much money into it, I can’t walk away now.” The entrepreneur reasons that if he quits now, his previous investments is all lost. However, that is not the case. The business has already lost its initial investment. That’s a fact. It’s a thing of the past. It is sunk cost.
Making decisions are future-looking. So looking at the past losses should not affect the decision you are making right now. It is not relevant. Now apply the same concept of sunk cost to dating and relationships.
You shouldn’t let past investment levels in women affect how you go forward in your pursuit of a woman or relationship. For example, let’s say you met a girl and you two really like each other. You’ve been on a couple dates, paid for all of them, you’ve spent hours talking on the phone, and weeks have gone by. However, you two have not slept with each other yet so there is no real relationship yet.
Then she starts to become flaky and she is not reciprocating as much as she used to. You send her text messages but she responds to every other text. You call her once a while, she never picks up but once a while randomly calls you.
Should you still pursue her? I would say no. Put her on the slow track and start focusing on other women.
However, most guys will do the opposite and start chasing EVEN MORE. They can’t see what a bad lead is and because they have put in so much emotions, time, money, and effort into getting the girl, it is hard for guys to walk away from the girl. “I cannot walk away right now, I’ve put in too much to stop getting this girl now.”
Recognize the proble m? These past investment levels are sunk cost. Just because you’ve paid $250 on dates and spent hours on the phone, that should not affect your decision if you want to keep pursuing this woman. In the military they talk about “the facts on the ground,” whenever they want to make a (strategic) move. In other words, you want to look at the current situation and make a decision based on that. Not on what happened in the past.
Another common situation is when a guy just got out of a long-term relationship. The guy will reason that because he has so many shared experiences with the girl, money spent, some form of collateral, and so on, that he should stick to the girl.
Sunk cost. What’s in the past, is in the past. Of course that is easier said than done. As humans we value things a lot more once we have put investment into it. In the book Influence, which I highly recommend, the author talks commitment and consistency. The more work we for something, the more we value it. As time goes by and levels of investment goes up, we really dislike to lose something where we have a high level of investment level of. That’s one of the realms of breaking up; you “lose” all that investment you put into a person.
I just hope you can now think rationally now that you understand the concept of sunk cost before you make decision in your love life. Like Nick Savoy, an avid board game player, would say, “Play the board as it is, not how you want it to be.” Look at the current situation and make your decision based on that. Whether that is for your love life or not. You will be better off once you factor sunk costs in your decision making.
A little update on what is going on with me. This blog hasn’t been updated for a period of time. For good reasons. I’ve been working really hard behind the scenes on getting things done to improve my overall quality of life.
As you could read in my post on goals for 2010 I have a lot of things I want to achieve. The overarching idea is to always improve my quality of life and part of that is improving and expanding your social circle. One tip I always advocate is to accept the first invitation to any event. You can even take it a step further and always say YES to everything like in the movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey. Well…that might be a little too much.
The last 2 weeks or so have been crazy. First I got in at a private Victoria Secret party where 3 VS angels were there. I had a chance to talk to Alessandra Ambrosio and Miranda Kerr, but not Candice Swanepoel. I didn’t recognize Candice since I didn’t know she was a VS Angel. I should have talked to her. Maybe another time. There were tons of other celebrities at the party, including guys from Entourage, MTV presenters, and A-list actors. My biggest surprise was when I saw Paris Hilton. In real life, she looks really hot. I grabbed my opportunity to talk to her for a little bit by going direct on her (pretending I didn’t know her) and have a few minutes of conversation before the entourage invaded. Below is a clip where you see me partying with her.
The next day I went to San Diego for one night to network with some people at a marketing conference. Daxx and Dubbsy were there too so it was good to hangout with them outside LA. I really like San Diego. Even though was there for maybe 20 hours, I had the chance to see the nightlife briefly and Saturday morning. Tons of beautiful girls and I got the vibe the city gave off. I’m definitely going back there for a weekend to see what else the city has to offer.
Right after the networking and presentations at the marketing conference I flew to Las Vegas to party with some friends that Saturday night. Jeremy Soul (I did my first vlog with him) and Jesse Starlight were in town too (they did a day game workshop that weekend). A personal friend of mine hooked us up at the new club Haze where we had the best table (near the dance floor and DJ). It was one of the best parties I’ve been to in my life. One of my friend’s friends, he flew in about 90 girls to party with us that night. Yeah…it was that crazy. 13+ bottles, many energy drinks, a playmate, and an exotic dancer later, that’s when the night ended and morning came for me. On the right is a picture with Starlight and some of the girls we partied with.
The good thing about those 3 epic days in a row? I recorded all three days on film! I’m in the middle editing it so it will be out soon. It will showcase you how awesome the three days were. This blog post cannot describe it. One thing these days made me realize is how important social circle game is. If you apply everything you learn from Social Circle Mastery (DVD coming out soon!) it will literally change your life for the better. That’s how I got in the Victoria Secret party, expanded my social circle with successful people, improve my own quality of life, and so much more.
The next weekend, which just passed as of writing, I was at a wedding with Jeremy Soul. One of Jeremy’s cousins got married. One of the reasons I wanted to go was because Jeremy’s cousin is Sri Lankan and she was marrying a Caucasian guy. In fact, the wedding has two ceremonies (one Hindu, one Christian) so it was great to see the different cultures. Also, because it was an interracial marriage, I wanted to talk to other people at the wedding about it. It was all to expand my own horizon and knowledge on interracial dating, which is something my blog is going to cover more in the near future.
That wraps up my last two weeks. It was fun, crazy, hectic, and eye opening. Just like how one should live every day. Now I’m getting back on the blogging track.
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: I get this question a lot from my fellow Asian brothers. So I’m going to tackle this question to the bone and be prepared to face some cold hard truth.
Some Caucasian girls will never date an Asian guy. They might have their own reasons for that, like they simply aren’t attracted to Asian guys, religion, family views, etc. Then you will have a group of white girls who will ONLY date Asian guys. They simply love the idea that they are dating an Asian guy and want nothing else. Yes they do exist.
However, majority of Caucasian girls have never dated an Asian guy before. Whenever I’m dating a Caucasian girl, I hear the same phrase a lot: “You’re my first Asian guy.”
You can reflect that group of girls in a bell curve, just like I did in my post where I explained you will not get every girl. I want you read that post first before you continue with this article. It will make you understand this article a lot better.
The idea is that some girls will never date you, but a lot of girls will. Accept this reality. Just look at your own preferences. There are certain types of girls you will never date, but there are also types of girls you will always go for. Then there’s a group of girls you might want to date, but perhaps have never experienced before.
Same idea applies to women on how they view dating guys.
Like for myself, I will never date a African-American girl with a very dark skin tone. I’m simply not attracted to them. On the other hand, I’m very much attracted to Caucasian women. In the middle there’s a huge pool of skin tones and types of girls I would date. For example, I haven’t dated an Indian girl yet but I’m open to the idea.
Now look at the bell curve below to see what I mean.
There’s a small group of women that will never date Asian guys. That’s the red-zone. Whenever you encounter one of those, just move on. There’s no need to waste time.
On the other end is the group of women who’s preferences is to date Asian guys. That’s the green-zone. If you meet one of those, you’re in luck!
The majority of girls is going to be in the middle (gray-zone). These girls might have not dated an Asian guy before, but would be open to do so. This is where you will need to be a little bit better than the average Asian guy to get these girls. In other words, read this blog and learn some Love Systems teachings and you’re already way ahead of the majority.
An interesting side-tangent. You or some other Asian guy should be thanking me if you end up dating the same girl I’ve dated. Why? Simply because once a Caucasian girl has dated an Asian guy before and the relationship was good, she is more likely to date an Asian guy in the future. The first Asian guy for a Caucasian girl will set the precedence of how likely that same Caucasian girl will date another Asian guy.
So if the first Asian guy was starstruck, other Asian brothers are in luck. Otherwise we might have some work left to do. That doesn’t mean that if the first relationship was bad, that the future is all dark and bad. It just means that the next Asian guy will have be a little better than the previous guy.
That’s why when I ask a girl if she has dated an Asian guy before and she says yes, I know that dating her is going to be fairly easy compared to a girl who has never dated an Asian guy before. The guy before me had to go through all the hoops and break down barriers of having her date an Asian guy. That includes family issues, friends, and so on.
Here’s a legitimate hottie, Megan Fox, saying that she would love to date Rain (Asian pop star). She is a prime example of a gray-zone girl. Never dated an Asian, but willing to do so.
If I had to summarize this post, it would be this: Some Caucasian will not ever date an Asian guy. Some girls will only date ONLY Asian guys. Most white girls have not dated an Asian guy before but are willing to date one. They are the majority.
So yes, Caucasian / white girls do like Asian guys.
Day game expert Jeremy Soul stayed at my place for a week. In the midst of his successful US tour I had a chance to pick his brain for a week. As I showed you before in my first vlog being around another like minded person really gives you the chance to pick up new information. In fact I learned a lot from just spending time with him and Jeremy learned things from me. Here are three things I learned from Jeremy.
1. Marketing Jeremy Soul is a marketing genius. No doubt about it. He is one the best marketed person within Love Systems. That is one of the reasons why his day game workshops are always sold out.
A big part of it is also that Jeremy is good at networking. What I learned is that PR is a lot about networking with the right people. During the day I work at the Love Systems office where I am responsible for a lot of the marketing, but I still learned a lot from Jeremy on this area. After reading Crushit by Gary vaynerchuk and spending time with Jeremy I now understand a lot better what personal branding is. Over the course of this year I will be putting all these tips and tricks together to get myself more media exposure.
2. Day Game Even though I’ve been doing day game for a while now, I still learned a lot of things from Jeremy when it comes to day game. He’s the number 1 guy for day game and he is always evolving his own game. It’s a lot of subtle things that I learned, but my biggest breakthrough in day game is that now I’m fairly accurate at predicting which girls in the daytime are going to be receptive for an approach.
I remember about a year ago Soul telling me how he can spot girls that are going to be really easy to approach and close. Honestly, back then I thought he was just being delusional. Fast forward a year later, I now know exactly what he means. Now I can walk down a street and immediately see which girls are going to be easy to talk to with fair accuracy. It’s a weird skill to have.
Part of this is me having done many more daytime approaches over the course of a year, but also being around Jeremy more so I could pick up his subcommunications. A week earlier I had spent some time with him in San Francisco.
3. Social Circle Game Even though Jeremy might be best known for his day game, make no mistake he is also very savvy when it comes to networking, establishing relationships, and meeting the right people. In other words, social circle game.
He and I had long talks about this in our times in the car. Jeremy would give tons of examples of how he used social circle game to enrich his own life. Especially since he moved from London to Stockholm. I also shared some of my views and techniques on meeting the right people and establishing relationships.
He also shared a lot of things I never thought of or have even heard of. There are a lot of social circle game tricks that are not really widespread. The Social Circle Mastery seminar has tons of great material on building and extending social circles, but I even discovered many more tricks that are not covered in the seminar. So Soul and I were sharing a lot of these tips and tricks. I might post about these tips and tricks on this blog in the future.
So these are the things I learned from Jeremy Soul. Not only is the man great at what he is most known for, but he is very much a renaissance man. This year he is also leading Project Rockstar. If you haven’t applied yet, definitely check it out.
As you might have noticed, there are two new things added to my blog. The first is a new logo on top. My friend Mark of Blue Moon Studio designed it for me. Thanks Mark!
The next new thing is the featured content slider on the homepage. Once a while I will change the posts that I want to be featured on the homepage. This is for new visitors (and people somewhat new to my blog) to find more posts by yours truly.
Hope you guys enjoy it!
Instead of writing the what happened the whole weekend, I figured doing a vlog is more fun and efficient. At some point later I will write a post what I learned from Jeremy (which is a lot!). Till then, check out the vlog.
I’m writing this blog as Jeremy Soul is sleeping next to me and whim is sleeping in his bedroom. It’s 9am and the day before we finished the Day Game workshop. This weekend I was staying at whim’s place with Jeremy to help out on the Day Game workshop.
Friday night after the office I went to LAX but I was a couple hours early only because I wanted to see the Lakers game. Unfortunately they lost big time and I immediately got a text from a girl (it’s actually the dancer I met at the LA Bootcamp last week, she is from Denver) how I should silence my mouth….ouch ;)
I sit at the gate for my flight to San Francisco. As I tweeted, there were no cute girls on my flight to SF. I truly believe airport terminals are a good representative how hot the girls are in a certain city and the quantity. SF is not really known for having good looking girls and that was reflected on my flight.
I arrive just after midnight, hop in a cab, and crash at whim. A lot of people think that the life of a dating coach is all fun and glory. Braddock wrote a post on a day of a dating coach. Well…it kind of is but it’s also a lot of hard work and sleepless nights. Most people don’t see that side. Not counting sometimes that you have to travel a lot (which is a plus) but you also don’t see your friends and family that much.
For me it’s mostly a lot of work and I’m fully immersed within Love Systems. During the week, I work at the office where I do the marketing. At night during the week, I work on my blog, respond to emails, work on LS related projects (like infield recording, writing, etc). Whenever there is a one-day seminar, bootcamp or Day Game workshop around California, I’m there. So sometimes I’ll be working 24/7 anything related to dating.
I realized that before I got into this. That’s why for me it’s really important to have focus outside of dating to keep myself balanced. Time with friends outside Love Systems and dating is really important to me. I want to be able to go out with my friends who know nothing about dating science. That’s why my social circle is very varied. That’s why it’s also very cool that Love Systems has a wide variety of instructors. We have Caucasian instructors, black (Vercetti), Asian (myself, Mr M, Jeremy Soul), and Hispanic (dahunter). If you ever wanted to work with someone of your own “race”, Love Systems has someone for you.
So yesterday we had a sold out workshop. It was me, Jeremy Soul, and Starlight leading the workshop. Plus we had approach coaches whim plus two guys who flew in from Utah. I see bright a future for these guys and they all did great. It was seriously one of the best day game workshops I’ve been part of so far. By the end of the day you could see everyone had a smile on their face and they walked with a swagger. Daddy is proud.
After the workshop we invited all the students for diner at Osha Thai. The food was seriously good. I also invited one guy I did a phone consultation with who is a venture capitalist. It was great meeting him in person and he had some great ideas how we could grow Love Systems. I was taking notes as I was picking his brain. I can’t wait to work out the ideas and start implementing them.
After diner Starlight, Jeremy Soul, and I all went back to whim’s place to rest up. We wanted to all go out after freshing up a little bit but that didn’t happen. After walking all day long and working with students we were too exhausted to go out.
(me drinking Thai beer)
Instead, we were watching California Pimp videos and trying to break down his game. In case you don’t know who California pimp is….he’s a genius. He’s a guy who films girls when they come over for a calendar shoot….or that’s what these girls think. The (legit) girls really think they are coming for a shoot but CP has different ideas. Of course the girls are really nervous as they are in a stranger’s apartment and he is filming everything. But CP is so pimp that he makes them feel really comfortable and he gets the girls to take their clothes really slowly. Then before you know it….the girl is going down on him.
What’s so fascinating is that his game 100% verbal. He doesn’t physically escalate at all but instead the girls are physically escalating ON HIM. So we all were watching a couple (pr0n) videos of how he does this and trying to break down his game. It’s really eye opening and it’s a totally different style of game. Karea, a well respected member of the Lounge, has a great break down of his game written down. Check it out on the Lounge if you have access.
There you have it. Four guys watching pr0n and studying game. It can’t get anymore efficient than that! After that we just were talking about different things like business, game, life in general and how we are all going Supernova this year. I am especially excited as I see awesome things ahead of me this year.
That brings us back to this Sunday morning. I have to take a shower, head off to SFO, drive to a friend’s place for Super Bowl (will barely make it for kick off!), and cheer for the Colts. Bonsai out.
That means one thing…..plenty of trouble :)
Everyone was there at the bootcamp except for Savoy and Braddock. We had a great group of guys. Everyone was eager to learn and had a great time kicking ass at the infield workshop. One guy had really good “couch game” because once he had a girl sitting on the couch with him….game over.
After the first night of infield I was still very energized. So what to do at 2am? You guessed it….hit up a strip club! So I took 3 guys with me and I would teach some basic stripper game. I got the phone number of one stripper and they saw text book stripper game happening right in front of them.
The second night the students did even better. Everyone was armed with truth bombs (our new term only taught and explained at bootcamps) ready to be delivered. One of the bottle service girls even bit Daxx on the arm as a way of showing affection.
One of the things that really hit me lately is how sometimes it’s really hard for me to relate to students. My life is so different now and better in so many different ways. But not too long ago I was in the same shoes as these guys. I wanted to improve my dating life and I was looking for a solution. Now every time I help at bootcamps and workshops it hits me in the face how awesome these people are and how badly they want to succeed. It makes me realize again what it is like to be in the shoes of someone who wants to improve their dating life. That makes me motivated to help because I know what it takes to get that success. Then when you see these guys succeed……I almost get an orgasm.
Tomorrow I’ll be flying to SF to help day game expert Jeremy Soul on his workshop. Then the week after that he will stay at my place for a week and we’ll do the LA Day Game workshop too.
Good times and good times ahead.
This blog has been a little stale the last couple days. Even though I have tons of articles in draft mode, I still need to put the finishing touches on them before I can publish them. Trust…what’s coming is going to be good :)
The last week or so I’ve been super busy. First I went to Affiliate Summit West for a couple days (Sun-Tue). I had a great time, met up with some cool people and got business done there. Immediately when I got home I had to catchup with work for the Phone & Text Game book by Braddock and Mr M because it would get released a day after I got back in the Love Systems office. The launch was a great success and the Phone & Text book reviews speak for themselves. People love the book.
That same day of the book release I had go to a singles event later that night to see if the business behind it might be a good partner for some business for Love Systems. So right after leaving office I went straight to the event. It was fun and we actually might do business. We’ll see how that turns out.
The day after the launch I planned to take a day off and go on a little trip up in Big Bear. Well…I thought I was going to be in Big Bear but it was actually Mammoth Mountains. So instead of 2 hours one-way driving, that turned into 5 hours. So it was a mini road trip :) My friends and I got a cabin for the weekend and we all promised no internet would be used while we were up there. So for about 3 days I was without any Internet. Guess what? It wasn’t actually that bad. It was good. No need to worry about anything or making sure about X and Y. Also if people needed to contact me for emergencies….well that was their problem. I was out learning how to snowboard (I suck!) and drinking a lot of alcohol. Good times.
Busy busy busy. That’s not going to change. This weekend is the Los Angeles bootcamp, next week is San Francisco Day Game workshop, week after that LA Day Game workshop + 1on1 (same day later in night), and week after that possibly another 1on1. So you might be wondering if I still have time to do my own Valentine’s Day challenge. Not really, but surprisingly I’m doing quite well! I met three new girls who are all over me without me really doing much because I’ve been so busy. I kind of all met them “by accident.” One at Subway where I detailed the day game & social proof concept, one in Vegas at the Affiliate Summit (she works for a big advertising company), and another one at a gas station. We’ll see how that works out. I still need to keep everyone posted and making sure they are achieving their goals with this challenge.
If you have been emailing me the last 12 days or so, please be patient with me. I respond to every email but it might take a while sometimes. If you need a quicker way to get a hold of me, I’m available on the phone and/or contact me via Twitter.
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: It’s a big myth that “strippers cannot give out their phone numbers. ” Yes they can, but the strippers are told not to. The management of the strip club usually tell strippers to not give out their phone numbers. There are several reasons for that; one is that they want repeat customers which means more income of course for the club and girls. However, the biggest reason is that the strip club can get sued for prostitution.
The fact that the stripper is handing out her phone number can be seen as the first step towards prostitution (which is illegal). So if the management sees a stripper handing out her phone number, she can get fined by the club or in worst case fired. Even if the strip club is considered “dirty” (meaning a lot of extras happen inside the club) these places usually still enforce that strippers can’t give out their phone numbers.
That is one why reason why getting a phone number from strippers is much harder compared to girls in bars and clubs. First you need to have really good stripper game, have strippers really attracted to you, and my diagram on how to pick up a stripper clarifies this a lot.
Here are some quick tips on getting a stripper’s phone number. I assume that you two are getting along great and that she is genuinely attracted to you.
- If possible, sit in a dark spot.
- Before you get the stripper’s phone number, make sure the DJ and management is not around.
- If there is a table, put your phone under the table and then get her number.
- Save her phone number under her real name. Don’t refer to her by her stripper name unless she explicitly want’s to be called Ferrari or Lamborghini.
- 6 Signs Strippers are Really Interested in You
- Where You Sit is Important to Pick up Strippers at Strip Clubs
- Phone and Text Game Conference Call
I had an interesting pickup the past week. I was on my way to work but I decided to stop by at Subway to grab a sandwich. This the only Subway I know that is close to the office and I have been going there twice a week for a couple months already. It’s my goto spot for breakfast and lunch on my way to work.
So whenever I walk in the staff recognizes me and knows me by name. Vice versa. When I come in I greet the staff members by their name.
This came in useful Wednesday morning. I walk in and I get greeted by the staff. Of course I say hello back to them. But then…..I see a gorgeous Asian girl in a suit ordering a sandwich. I have thing for women who are dressed professional. They are hard to find in Hollywood but plenty around downtown LA. A couple months ago I was in New York City and while I was in the cab I saw all these “professional women” walking around. I was in heaven.
Anyway…back to the story.
It was just me, 2 staff members, her and another guy in the store. I knew I had only small window of opportunity to make something happen.
I ask the old lady behind the counter how her day is getting along and we make small chat as I’m ordering. The purpose is just to build a little bit of social proof. It’s very clear to strangers that we know each other (to a certain extent).
What is social proof?
Social proof is a psychology term. In short, as humans we look for shortcuts so we don’ t have to think too much. Whenever we face something unknown, we look for others to see how they behave to that situation to decide what the best decision is. The mechanics is that we believe that others have more information than a single person does so we behave according to how most people behave.
To put that in a dating context, let me give you an example. If you walk into a club with two beautiful women on your arms, people will automatically assume positive traits about you. The implied thought is, “if these (beautiful) women are with him, then there must be something cool about him.” In other words, you have social proof which results in you having (some) value.
Now compare that when you walk into a club by yourself. Nobody is going to assume anything good about you. You have no social proof and no value. Even if you walked in with your two (male) buddies, nobody would still not assume any positive traits. However, if you walk in with a celebrity, then people will assume positive traits about you. Now you do have social proof and value.
In short, social proof makes you seem have value. Capiche?
When the girl was paying for the sandwiches I noticed she was paying multiple times with cash and credit cards. At this point I was waiting to pay for my order so I was standing next to her. That’s when I started the conversation.
Me: I hate it when I have to take orders for my co-workers. Especially at this place.
Her: I know! I was just leaving and then someone asked me where I went so I said Subway. Then they all asked if I could bring something back for them. So I just did.
Me: That’s nice of you. We could use someone like you in our team. You can be our goto person for lunch instead of my intern.
Her: Haha thanks. If the salary is better I might take you up on that offer.
Then she left to go to her car. After I paid for my sandwich I walked really fast to her and went for the Hail Mary.
Me: Excuse me. I know this is crazy but I would kick myself if I didn’t get your name before we both go back to work.
Her: I’m Jane
Me: I’m Thanh.
[we shake hands]
Me: Listen Jane, I don’t have enough time to competently flirt with you, but I would love to call you sometime.
Her: Yeah sure.
After some more small talk I got her number.
Now I want to break it down for you. I can micro analyze it to the tiniest bit but I won’t do that. I want you to understand the mechanics of why this pickup worked. There is one thing that helped me the most:
I had social proof.
Now you might think…so an old lady gave you social proof? Yes, but not in a way a super model would give me value. It was more about me being social and knowing the staff. Whenever you know the staff, you always come across as high value to others. It doesn’t even matter if you live in a dumpster or in a mansion. Strangers can’t tell.
So the fact that I got greeted by the staff gave me some value. I built value before I even approached her. Before I evened opened my mouth, she already saw little parts of my personality by the way I was interacting with the staff. The implied cognition is, “He knows the staff and they know him. He must be somebody important.”
Social proof is not just limited to bars and clubs like many people think. It applies everywhere. Especially the places you frequent, which can also be places you go to during the day.
Day game and social proof works too!
Every place I go at least once a week, I am pretty sure I know most of the staff members. I would suggest you do the same thing. Get to know the staff of places you frequent. It might come in handy some day like it did for me.
In fact, a couple weeks prior I had a similar situation. I was at a Jamba Juice I always go to after the gym. Same deal. I know the staff, they know me. When I walked in, we greeted each other and there happened to be a MILF in there. Few minutes later, we exchanged numbers.
Why? I had social proof. It makes your approach so much easier and the rest of the pickup. You are almost like a celebrity.
You might wonder….how can I do this? Here’s a little exercise for you:
-Write down all the places you frequent at least once a week.
These might include: gym, coffee shop, video store, restaurant, grocery store, and so on.
Now that you have a list of places you often go to, try to get to know the staff of each place. Here are some tips to do that:
Then someday you might meet your next girlfriend when you least expect it but you’ll do it with social proof. Isn’t that romantic? :)
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bonsai, Mark Gonzalez. Mark Gonzalez said: Always money bro–RT @LS_Bonsai: Check out my new post on using social proof with day game. http://bit.ly/73y2Eg […]
This is more than pick up advice, this is a lesson in building social skills. You didn't have to pull out some crazy out-of-the-bag routine or anyhing super technical. You simply started talking and had some social proof, and boom. You get the girl
So would you try to text Jane to try to build some more attraction and then bam a date along the way?
Yeah true. I didn't use anything magical lines or openers. It was an easy pickup because I utilized my surroundings to the fullest. Now that doesn't mean every pickup will be like this, but if you are in environment you can use to your advantage, def go for it.
I actually called her the day after. Since we had such a short interaction, I felt like I needed to build more of a connection with her. Doing that over the phone is more powerful than over text. I hope to see her again when I get back from my business trip! Till I'll be texting and calling once a while.
Sick post bro!!
Your blog is on point, been learning a lot from you dude!!
LA on the reg in 4 days!!
Thx homie. LA can't get come soon enough huh :)
This is a great example of social proof. I like Mr Ms playmate pickup. I used to think that social proof was all about walking around a venue with a girl in your arm, but boy was I wrong!
Last month Love Systems did a conference call on phone & text game. Well, Savoy and Braddock are doing round 2!
You can submit your questions for the conference call and Braddock and Savoy will answer your questions on the call. Here are the details:
Thursday, January 14th, 2010 @ 6pm PST.
Starlight is planning to do some Love Systems training at the Playboy Mansion. If you have wanted to go there, why not be there with the best dating coaches on the planet? :)
I’ll let Starlight take it over from here.
Let’s kick off the 2010’s in style at: Kandy Masquerade: An Evening of Mystique and Seduction at the Playboy Mansion, February 27, 2010!
This is one of the most exclusive events at the Playboy Mansion and under normal circumstances you need an invite from a member of the Karma Foundation which can cost up to $2,000 based on demand.
Well guess what, I’ve got some some tickets and they’re burning a hole in my pocket!
Have you seen the reviews from the last Advanced Bootcamp at the Playboy Mansion, lead by none other than Savoy himself? Out of 12 guys on the program a total of 7 went home with playmate-quality girls!! I mean that is just unheard of (and doesn’t include the Instructors ;-)
Here is an excerpt from one of the attendees:
It is 5:21 am PST, I’m tired as shit, the scotch is still seeping from my pours, and I’m happier and prouder than I can ever remember being! Which is why I have to just tell someone what just happened despite my current state. The final text of the weekend just arrived “I had a flocking good time J” she writes… time stamp: 5:23 am PST. A straight up 10, one of the Playboy Playmate recruits from the mansion Sat night, just left my hotel room. She’s f***ing gorgeous and bones like a porn star!
…Finally, and most importantly! STARLIGHT IS A GOD! After the Sunday seminar he gave me a personal debriefing on my whole night as I had some particular questions. His advise led me to text the girl I lost on the bus home and sure enough she wanted to hang out. Starlight gave me some great text game coaching (which I SUCK at) and as a result, my 10 showed up at my hotel and I closed the hottest girl I’ve ever been with! All-in-all, the best weekend of my life!)
Full Review Here
No doubt that was one hell of a night!
Now imagine that kind of a set up at THE event of the year at the Playboy Mansion. Imagine yourself in the midst of 300+ drop-dead gorgeous models in body paint, open bar and food all night, cameos by movie stars and even Hugh Hefner himself surrounded by 5 blondes like a champ.
Now hold that thought…add in some of the top Dating Coaches in the world working with you, strategizing, winging you in set, generally making it our mission to give you an experience like in the testimonial above. I want nothing short of the best night of 2010!
That is the opportunity I have to offer you…call it a late Christmas present
If you want in, please notice that this is an exclusive group-training event and not a traditional Love Systems bootcamp.
We’ll get together earlier in the day and work together for 4-5 hours to fine-tune your game, work on personalizing stories and material for you and provide some fashion and style consulting to stand-out in the crowd at the Playboy Mansion. Like when I arrived for the Kandy Halloween party as the original International Man of Mystery:
“The Playboy Mansion was UNBELIEVABLE. I have NEVER seen so many 9′s and 10′s in one place before. There were sets all over the place! It was like sarging heaven. Surprisingly enough, almost all of the girls were very approachable and not even a bit bitchy or cold like I would have expected. With all of these amazing instructors at my disposal I wanted to make sure I learned as much as possible from them. I achieved my goal and I’m glad I did this, as I was rewarded with amazing feedback and got to see some of the best instructors in the business at work in the field.”
-S.F. Full review here
If you want to come have an experience that will make your future grandchildren jealous, call or write Jeremy to sign-up:
Jeremy@LoveSystems.com or 1-800-680-0821 ext.110
I only have room for a handful of guys and once the tickets are gone…they are gone for good. So to be fair, it’s first-come-first-serve.
I dont believe any of this. Why would a playboy playmate type go be with some guy who just knows some game? Come on, this is utter rubbish. I dont believe it and I have had Lovesystems training. This cannot be real.
Hey Tim, check out the review thread from our Advanced Bootcamp at the Playboy Mansion last fall: http://www.theattractionforums.com/love-systems...
Of the 12 guys on the program at least 7 of them took a girl home. I personally had my girl drive on of the attendees to his girl's apartment…so I know 100% it's true.
Better yet, sign up for the program and I'll prove it to you ;-)
Man this looks like an awesome experience. Its moments like these I wish I lived in LA…
I would be more than willing to have a little chat with you and hangout. Let’s connect!
Valentines day is only a couple weeks away. February 14 might not mean that much to you as a guy, but for some girls it does mean a lot. If they don’ t have a da te that day or no guy is available then these girls will update their Facebook status with something depressing. Girls will see their friends being unavailable because couples will do something special that day or their friend is on a date.
Either way, it’s a big deal to a lot of girls. Now, you can use this to your advantage. Valentine’s weekend is always busy in bars, clubs, and lounges. So definitely go out that weekend!
But that is not what this post is about. I want to propose a challenge for you and me to get a date for Valentine’s day. One of my goals in 2010 is to go on more dates, twenty to be exactly, so this is also a good excuse for me to sharpen my day game skills and go on dates.
Challenge: Have a date on Valentine’s Day (Sunday, February 14, 2010).
It’s that simple. If you are serious about your dating life in 2010, then you will accept this challenge. Leave a comment behind on this post and I will personally email you and keep you in check. You are free to do the same to me.
Do not come up with excuses why you cannot do this. Being good with women is a skill you can learn. I used this same challenge myself for the last 2 years to push myself to become better with women.
Honestly, this year will be probably be the toughest year for myself. Just because I will be working every single weekend leading up to Valentine’s day. I will be at the Los Angeles Bootcamp with Braddock and The Don (Jan 29-31), Day Game workshop with Jeremy Soul in San Francisco (Feb 6), 1-on-1 training in the weekend of Valentine’s day, and another Day Game workshop with Jeremy Soul in Los Angeles in the same weekend. Clients always comes first is one of the Love Systems values. So I cannot just leave that person and do my own thing.
Either way, I will figure something out to get myself a date on Valentine’s. Even if that means going out on Valentine’s day and try to set up a date the same night. I hope you can use the same desire I have to be good with women.
If I don’t have a date on Valentine’s day, I will give everyone who committed to this challenge by leaving a comment behind on this post a free 15 minute phone consultation. You can verify this by asking Jeremy Soul, since he will be staying at my place that week for a couple days.
Here are some quick tips:
Let’s get it started by committing yourself to it. Leave a comment behind and I will start keeping you in check over email. Contact me if you personally want to work with me. I’m too busy with live training and 1on1s till Valentine’s day so I can’t help you in person, but we can definitely talk on the phone.
The Inner Game seminar ran by Braddock and Mr M has been really popular. It’s not very often available but every time it is available you should jump ship and take it. Braddock wrote a post on what his inner game seminar is about.
I remember when I took that seminar for the first time. This was back at the Los Angeles Super Conference in October 2008, more than a year ago. It was the first time they taught the seminar and 6 hours later….we still weren’t done. We had maybe finished 20% of the full seminar.
So I came back a couple months later with more new information presented. What I really respect about Braddock is that he continually keeps adding new information to his seminars. That’s why I was always coming back to his seminars whenever they were available. I’ve taken all of Braddock’s seminars (Inner Game, Social Circle Mastery, and Strippers & Hired Guns) each more than 3 times. Just because there is always new information and the teachings of the material keeps improving over time.
Another reason was that the Inner Game seminar is so packed with information that I couldn’t grasp it all the first time. I realized that my inner game was pretty weak and I needed to work on a lot of things.
The thing with inner game is that learning it is not like putting a band aid on a wound. It takes commitment, good habits, and time to get it fixed. Heck, I’m still working on it. There are always things you can improve about yourself. Looking back, I’ve gotten a lot more confident over the year knowing what I had to do.
If you don’t know what you need to work on, well guess what….you won’t get anything done. Having someone else reveal your blind spots is eye opening. I never realized I had certain limiting beliefs or chinks in my armor. Once I knew what I needed to work on, set my goals and action plan that is when my self confidence went up.
Just do not get lost with all the different things you want to achieve. You thought my goals for 2010 was a lot? Honestly I had to trim down a lot. Also, part of what I learned in the inner game seminar is setting goals and how that affects your confidence levels. That has helped a lot in achieving my goals in 2009 and as a result my confidence level went up.
Once a while I still go over my notes just to remind myself what I need to work on. Here are some things I learned, worked on, and overcame:
- Overcoming limiting beliefs (especially concerning my ethnic background)
- Fear of rejection (approach anxiety)
- What it means to be a man (masculinity)
- Setting boundaries (not being a push-over)
- Setting goals (build confidence over time)
If you ever get a chance to take the seminar, really take it. Read Braddock’s post on his inner game seminar to get familiar.
Earlier I wrote about how my 2009 went and I said I would show you what some of my goals are for 2010.
Let me first tell you that new year’s resolutions do not work. It’s wishful thinking. What you need to do is write down your big goals and backtrack what steps you need to take in order to achieve that goal. I highly recommend reading “Eat That Frog” and “Flight Plan” by Brian Tracy. These books should be able to help you with setting your goals and working towards them.
Using mind-mapping software I came up with a list of goals I want to achieve in 2010. It might look intimidating upon first look, but if you look closer it’s really not.
What are your goals in 2010?
Happy New Year man! You get into something exciting? I'm over here in Jakarta w Mr. M and we're taking turns experiencing the repurcussions of eating Indonesian street food…not pretty, but kinda funny
I like your post man, it's so important to write out goals and even more important to keep them front and center (like on your bedroom door!). Being super-specific helps too…as I found out a while back when I had my band/record label.
We wanted to be a featured artist on a popular music site at the time and so I wrote it out as one of my goals as something like: Be featured artist on Broadjam and get personal endorsement from Roy Elkins (CEO). I printed out the goals list, signed it and hung it up in my bathroom. Then eventually got so used to seeing them that I kind of forgot about them being there
Then, through a strange twist of events, I was at a music conference in Nashville and ran into Roy. We talked and I told him I just mixed some new tracks that I really wanted him to hear. We had a 15 minute break so I offered to drive him to our studio and play him our new music. Back at our place we listened and he said they sounded really good. So I was happy and thinking, cool I'll hit him up for the featured slot on the drive back.
He asked to use the restroom before leaving and I said fine, not even thinking about the Goals list. He comes out a couple minutes later and looks at me kind with a kind of half-cocked head look and says “So you really want to be the featured artist on Broadjam and want my personal endorsement huh?”
I froze, at first not even registering how he could know that, then remembered the Goals and quickly smiled and said “Yes, sir we'd like nothing more!”
And that was it. My goal list did the hard work for me :)
Keep up the great posts man. 2010 = Supernova!
Jakarta? Interesting! I've never been there.
That's a crazy story! I can foresee some girls go “What is this Love Systems thing?” but I don't care. We'll see how that is going to work.
2010 is about going ape shit!
My goal is to try to attend LoveSystem's bootcamps or seminars. :-)
Hopefully it will be one where I'll be at :)
What software are you using for the mind-mapping?
I use Mindjet Mindmanager. Really love it.
I've tried Freemind but didn't like it as much.
Im using it too now :p
Really fun to play with.
Really inspiring Bonsai! Had to map out my own goals for 2010 (with mindjet :) and I got really psyched when I started working with them. Read from your “how my 2009 went” post that it takes more than just writing your goals down to reach them, you mention gameplan, is there any other tips you can give? Though it might be an idea to work on the gameplan and goalmap on a weekly basis and for me personally set up my weeks to work the different goals to set up a “much needed structure” :)
Know from experience that what might seem impossible is actually just about putting the work to it and give a shit about the end result. Went from high school dropout to getting into one of europes most respected design schools.
Nice job Erik. You understand that persistence can pay off. My own advice on reaching your goals is to set deadlines for certain goals.
Also reading the books I mentioned will give you a good idea what to do. I work on my goals on a daily basis. Not everyone can do that, but it keeps you focused. Every day I look at my door and see what I need to do. Then I set an action plan what I'm going to do that day to work towards one of the goals.
Another post on Game 2.0: social circle game. If you are not playing social circle game, then immediately read my post why you should learn social circle game!
I’m going to give you one tip for expanding your social circles. If you follow this rule, building a new social circle and joining new social circles will be MUCH easier and it will happen faster. It’s also easy to follow and easy to implement:
Whenever you get invited by someone for the first time, GO no matter what.
Write this down. I can’t stress enough how important this is.
Whenever someones invites you to come out, GO. Go no matter what. This is really important if you want to expand your social circles.
I’ve noticed that when someone invites you for the first time to some event and you don’t go, it’s very hard to meet up with that person again. You don’t always get a second chance. Especially when you don’t see that person much. In that case you are still stuck in the “sticky phase” (taught in Social Circle Mastery). In other words, you two are still somewhat strangers.
It is much easier to go on your first invite and then meetup with that person (who invited you) again in the future. You can go the first time, flake some other time, and then still meet up again with that person (especially if you have his/her phone number).
That person will appreciate it if you come out the first time. It strengthens your bond with him/her because you gain time and shared experiences which are valuable currencies in social circle game.
So go! Even if you can only stop by for 15 minutes. It is better than not showing up or rejecting the invite.
Braddock also wrote a cool post on golden rule for building a new social circle: respect first, popularity second.
Now you have two great nuggets. Put them to use and it will change your social life for the better.
Dating coach Braddock just posted some hilarious tweets. You can follow him at LS_Braddock. In case you aren’t following me yet, follow me at LS_Bonsai. We regularly share dating tips and new thoughts on dating science. Plus, if you follow both of us you can view conversations Braddock and I are having with each other. It’s almost like you are eavesdropping on us!
So back to the hilarious tweets. Here are some things Braddock used to say to girls as openers or just simple phrases in 2009 to pickup women (copied verbatim from his tweets). Use at own risk.
-(As opener) “Those tits are the real deal.”
-As opener: “You are like 200lbs of shit your pants. God damn!”
-(As opener) “My friend wants to make babies with you.”
-(As opener) “Listen you beautiful bitch, I need to know you.”
-”You are a bad mother fucker” as opener.
-(Bet from Calabrese, Dubbsy, Daxx) “Listen you are really cute and it’s fun talking to you, but I think it’s time you give me your wallet”
My favorite in 2009 as an opener is “Who wants to get pregnant?!” Stolen from fellow instructor Calabrese. He and Helicase are the grandmasters when it comes to saying outrageous stuff. You definitely WANT to play tell her with these guys!
haha! definitely gotta try “those tits are the real deal” opener !
Sweet! Let me know how that works out for you! If you get slapped, you will get honorable mentions by me :)
haha! definitely gotta try “those tits are the real deal” opener !
Sweet! Let me know how that works out for you! If you get slapped, you will get honorable mentions by me :)
Two years ago is when I first discovered Love Systems. My life has changed in so many ways since then. The great thing about dating science is that it’s intertwined with self-help and I’ve been practicing the latter for a few years already. In 2009 I took self-help even more serious than just reading books.
That’s when I first started setting goals AND working towards them. I just finished “Eat That Frog” by Brian Tracy, a book on goal setting and getting work done. I also just finished The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris. Yes….2010 is going to be better than 2009, but I’m going to get back to that in another post.
I had a lot of big goals and small goals in 2009 and I can say I have achieved all of them except for one.
Here are a couple goals:
–Becoming a Love Systems instructor (October 2009)
-Read 10 self-help books (December 2009)
-Buy a new car (October 2009)
-Have $x amount in savings account (December 2009)
These were the big goals. What I learned is that just setting goals does not work. For each goal, you need a game plan how you are going to achieve your goal. This was again affirmed when I was reading “Eat That Frog” (which I highly recommend).
For example, you can read that my goal was to officially become a Love Systems instructor. That’s a goal but how do you become one? Well, you need to have good game. You need to have understanding how Love Systems works. You need to be able to teach. You need to be able to get along with other instructors and students. And so on. Every big goal has smaller goals.
Once you have that broken down, then you can work towards the big goal by tackling all the small goals. Here is a very simple diagram how that works.
The only goal I didn’t achieve was getting my body fat under 10%. I didn’t even come close. I’m at 15% now, which is way too much. In 2010 I’m going to tackle this goal as a big priority. In fact, I’ve started already by committing myself going to the gym 3/week for strength training and once a week for cardio. On top of that, I’m adding more protein to my nutrition.
Overall, I’m happy how 2009 went. I’ve met more women than ever before and financially I’ve taken a leap. Next week I’ll post what some of my goals are for 2010.
How was your 2009?
One of my mentors is Braddock. I took my first bootcamp with him and The D on that opened up my eyes on what is possible when it comes to meeting women. One thing Braddock is really good at is flirting with women and sending mixed signals.
A lot of game is stolen from women, including sending mixed signals. Guys who are good with women are also very good at this. Before I discovered Love Systems, I was always stuck in the friend zone. I was always hearing from the girl I was interested in, “Do you think John likes me? Sometimes he is really nice and other times I want to kill him. But I like him. It’s so confusing!!!”
You want to be like John.
One of the basic principles behind flirting is sending mixed signals, or like some people call it “push/pull.” Push as in saying something mean and pull as in saying something nice. Nice guys do too much pull, assholes do too much push. Guys who are good with women know when to push and/or when to pull.
If you get really good at sending mixed signals, women will chase you like you have sushi around your neck. A good starting point is reading Braddock’s post on flirting and sending mixed signals.
Are you going to post an 'Interracial Dating' post soon by any chance?
Yes I will. In 2010 I will be focusing a lot on this and I already have some drafts ready for finishing. Is there anything specific you want me to write about ? I'm open for suggestions.
Something I come across sometimes when trying to build attraction is somewhere in the conversation she would say ' I usually don't go for ( Insert Ethnicity)'. Or her friend would say 'she doesn't like (Insert Ethnicity). I usually combat by saying, 'Well you/she havent met me yet, you/she probably can't handle me anyways.' Is there a better approach at this? Thanks
I would just ignore it and keep going forward.
Over the next couple months I will be releasing infield audio clips of mine. You will hear me use certain pickup routines published on this blog and also full pickups. Today I’m releasing my first stripper infield audio clip.
You can hear me deliver the stripper routine fractured sexual identity that I came up with. Below is the video with subtitles on the audio.
It was very loud in the strip club (normally it isn’t that loud) so sometimes it might be hard to hear the stripper.
Let me know if you guys like this by leaving a comment behind!
This blog has a lot of posts already on stripper game< /a>. What a lot of people don’t know about stripper game is that there is actually a structure you can use. In the Strippers & Hired Guns seminar we teach the Polarity Model that Braddock and The Don came up with.
Below you can download a mind-map diagram that gives you a structure of stripper game. It is how I pickup strippers and it is almost exactly following the Love Systems Triad Model but applied to stripper game. So it has elements of the Polarity Model and the Triad Model.
Me being Asian, I love models. It gives you structure and phases you can learn piece by piece. It makes learning something new much easier and it is a lot easier to diagnose where you make mistakes. Hopefully this diagram helps a lot.
Feel free to distribute this, post it on your blog, emailing it your friends, whatever.
Download Stripper Game Diagram (PDF, 17kb).
As I was reading Big Business’s post on t he difference between a good and bad night is one set, I wanted to expand on that a little bit more. I’m sure you had one of those nights when you went out and you said to yourself: “It’s full of dudes. This sucks.”
While that might be true sometimes, most of the time it isn’t. There is always a bunch of girls somewhere in the venue. Instead of focusing on the guys, you should be focusing on the girls.
Even if the venue has 95 guys and 5 women, there are 5 women who you might be your next friends with benefits or girlfriend. You never know. Like Big Business said, all you need is one girl to make your night worthwhile.
If you go out with me to meet women, you will never hear me say “Damn it’s full of dudes tonight. This venue sucks!” While I certainly do prefer venues with more women than men, I know that I just need one girl. Just think about it. If you go out 3 nights a week and you meet one quality girl every night, then you are meeting 3 girls every week. After a month, that is 12 girls. Even if you just get one girl to go out with you every week, that’s four dates a month. Not bad heh ?
So next time you go out and you think it is a sausage fest, do this: start focusing on the women who are there. It just takes one girl to make your night.
The thing about dating is that it all comes down to your mentality, on how you see it. I have had this wonderful dating experience which might be quite surprising for many people who read this.
Go to this website that focuses on love, friendship. dating, sign up, and start looking for your perfect match with a real-time chat facility
There is a new study saying that casual sex does not cause any emotional damage.
Here’s a quote that summarizes the article:
Young adults who have casual sex are no more likely than those in committed relationships to experience psychological problems.
The research focuses more on the fact that casually sleeping around does not cause any emotional baggage. However, there is a big caveat to that.
The more one person is going towards the exclusive relationship, the more problems arise. Especially when the other person does not want to go exclusive but still wants to have sex. That is when emotional damage will come and pop up. That is why you want to follow the golden rule of friends with benefits. Preventing is always better than repairing. I seriously can’t stress enough how important it is.
Short answer: The next day.
Long answer: A good rule of thumb is to followup with a girl the next day from when you got her phone number. So if you got a girl’s number on Wednesday, followup on Thursday.
The whole “wait a couple days” is BS. Apply the old school sales idea here; close it when it’s hot. Keep the emotional momentum going while you can. That’s why you want to follow up as soon as possible. She might not feel the same about you a couple days later from when you guys met.
I like to text girls as soon I get their number, especially when I meet them at night. So if I get a girl’s number Saturday night, I’ll text her the same night. I’m texting while I have the momentum and she will get used to texting me. Then the next day I’ll followup.
If I get a girl’s number during day game, I’ll followup the next day with my first text message or call.
I like texting first before calling, because it is so low-compliant. It doesn’t ask much for her in return and I can calibrate how “into me” she is. If she is really into me, I know I can call her and she will pick up. If she is not that attracted, I can gradually build it up over text messages and then call her later. There are exceptions of course, but generally I like texting first.
Another tip: Most girls don’t do much on Sunday, so that’s the perfect day to call all your girls. For me, Sunday is like maintenance day. I’ll call all the girls I haven’t seen in a while and with whom I want to stay in touch with.
Do you want to see a commonly asked question answere d? Just contact me and let me know!
This past weekend I helped out fellow Love Systems instructor Future on his LA bootcamp. For me it was the first time doing a bootcamp with him and it was fun! Future is most known for his Breakthrough Comfort seminar and I wanted to pick his brain on that. A big part of Stripper Game is deep comfort game, so I have a ton of new stuff I want to field test now and to add to my own game.
It was also fascinating to see how Future goes really deep with girls in high stimulating environments. I see that as something I can do naturally but seeing him doing it to the extreme was really cool.
Some bootcamp and post-bootcamp (meaning late after infield) shenanigans / highlights (in random order):
This blog is giving fellow Big Business a lot of love (systems). He will be releasing an one-day seminar soon entitled “Mastering Humor and Improv for Pickup.” That says it all. When will it be released ? Only Big Business knows. Check out his little teaser on Mastering Humor and Improv for Pickup seminar.
Whenever you try to pick up strippers at strip clubs you will always face the same problem: You are initially not talking to the real person, but the stripper persona.
Unlike girls in bars and clubs, strippers are very aware of body language and what kind of interest they show in a guy. Your first mission is to distinguish the fake signs of interest from the real ones. Then, you try to shutdown the stripper persona and get to the real person as soon as possible.
SIDENOTE: There are a lot of cool tricks and techniques to turn off the stripper programming, but you will need to attend one of the Strippers and Hired Guns seminars to find out. We also teach how to get her stop seeing you as a customer and how to break yourself out of the customer frame. I might give some tricks away for free later on this blog. Keep an eye on it. Subscribe to my blog if you haven’t already.
How do you know when you’re talking to the real person and not the stripper persona? When you are getting real signs of interest from her. Here are 6 signs when a stripper and exotic dancer is really interested in you.
1. She stops asking for dances.
This is the first biggest real sign of attraction you will see. Once you and her have been talking for awhile, you still might not know if she is really attracted to you. However, when she is not asking for dances anymore and/or engaging in the conversation, she has decided to sit with you over making money. At this point it should feel weird for her to ask you for a dance because she is realizing that you are not an ordinary customer but a guy she might be romantically interested in. If you get this far, you’re doing a good job but it’s just a start.
It becomes more evident whenever she gets called on stage to dance and afterwards comes back sitting with you without asking for a tip or dance. That is a HUGE sign that she is attracted to you. If you get this, you’re in! BTW, read my post on where to sit in strip clubs to pickup strippers.
2. She reveals her real name.
It’s no secret that all exotic dancers work under a different name at the strip club. In other words, when you first get their name it’s their “stripper name” not their real name. It’s for security reasons that all the girls work under a stage name, so stalkers cannot look them up. Whenever a stripper tells you her real name, what that really means is that she feels comfortable around you. Not necessarily attracted, but she feels safe enough to open up to you and be her real self.
This is almost my default way-point to find out if the stripper I’m talking to is a little bit comfortable around me. I know that when she tells me her real name that I have almost completely have shut off her stripper programming and I am slowly talking to the real person.
3. She tells you insider information.
Whenever I feel it is really “on” when I’m picking up a stripper, I always end up on the same conversational topic: we start talking about the other girls in the strip club and the management. This is a recurring thread I’ve noticed. So when the stripper you are picking up starts sharing insider info on the other girls that’s a good thing! For example, she might share that some girls do drugs in the dressing room, others have done extras in VIP rooms, and so on. Or on a similar note she might tell you how the management works in the strip club and what special rules they have. Either way, if she tells you anything like the above the pickup is going forward and in the right direction.
4. Dead air is not a deal breaker anymore.
When it comes to picking up strippers you need to be able to run your mouth for long periods of time. In the beginning of the conversation you have very little room for mistakes and dead air is lethal. Any dead silence is just enough time to get the stripper back to her stripper persona and try to squeeze money out of you. However, later on whenever you have a lull in the conversation and she reinitiates the conversation, that’s a good sign. Dead air is not lethal anymore and you can assume that she has some feeling of attraction towards you.
5. She hints at seeing you outside the venue.
To get a strong timebridge and a solid phone number from strippers you need to build a really strong emotional connection. Strippers are the flakiest girls in the world and to avoid flaking you must have super good comfort game to build a strong emotional connection. Plus, you have to seed throughout the interaction that you want to see her again. So from time to time you slip in the conversation that you and her should meet up again and you do this throughout the interaction. Some people call this technique “seeding”; you lay down little hints (”seeds”) when you’re talking to her about meeting up later so it gets imprinted in her mind that she should see you again. When she does the seeding, in other words she mentions about meeting up with you, that means it is on like donkey kong. Calibrate this but generally at that point you want to grab her number, stay a few more minutes and then leave.
6. The digits.
Generally the objective in a stripper pickup is to get the phone number and get her out on a date. If you have done everything well and saw most of the other signs of attraction (see previous points) then you’re almost sure you can get the phone number. Strippers only give out their phone numbers when they are really attracted to a guy. When you do get her phone number give yourself a shoulder pat. You’ve successfully picked up a stripper. Now you need to close the deal, but that’s worth another post.
In random order: Love Systems …….
1. is oldest and biggest dating company that teaches seminars for men how to be successful with women.
2. has 12 employees at the office and an army of interns.
3. has its our own building with two floors. Unlike competitors who all rent office space in office buildings.
4. is the only dating company with a 100% money back guarantee. We believe in our products and we are the only one to offer this deal.
5. has a success rate of 99.6%.
6. bootcamps have taken place in more than 30 cities and 15 countries spanning 4 continents. We are global and expanding.
7. has a wide variety of instructors; Asian, Hispanic, Black, short, tall, fat, skinny, young, and old.
8. hosts the annual Super Conference and it is the biggest dating event in the industry. Even competitors want a spot to speak and attend.
9. has a wall at the office full with funny emails, success stories, and office inside jokes.
10. Savoy’s office is on the second floor and he has his own fridge and coffee machine so he doesn’t have to walk downstairs to the kitchen. Smart man.
Jeremy Soul wrote a great piece on why you cannot get every girl. It’s is somewhat similar to my post on finding compatible women where I also say that you can’t get every girl (nor do you want to focus on that).
Soul uses a pyramid scheme to describe his idea. Still doesn’t beat my bell curve, but nice try…. ;)
Are you new to phone and text game? Do you get flaky phone numbers? Having problems turning phone numbers into dates?
Mid-game is where a lot of intermediate guys make a mistake that won’t get them the girl. It’s really one of the most common sticking point: flaky phone numbers. It is almost an art form turning phone numbers into dates.
Braddock and Savoy will be holding a free 90 minute phone conference on the subject of phone/text game. You can mail in questions and one of them will answer it on the call. In order to get your question answered and to get the phone number to call in, you have to sign up. Takes less than a minute.
Sign up for the conference call here. Here are the details:
DECEMBER 10 2009 – 6pm PST (9pm EST)
Capacity: 400 lines. First come, first serve.
A lot of guys like the idea of friends with benefits relationships. In case you didn’t know, so do a lot of women. The idea of having sex with no strings attached is one of the best ideas ever in my opinion. Right now, as in late 2009, that is my preferred type of relationship. This might change over the next couple of years…who knows.
A lot of guys make a mistake that leads them having girls see them as boyfriends when the guy does not want that at all. This definitely happened to me multiple times but I have overcome this problem.
I am going to reveal the golden rule that every guy should know about friends with benefits relationships. If there is one thing you should know about friends with benefits, it is this rule:
Do not see the girl more than once a week and when you do see her it always ends in sex.
If you obey to this rule you will avoid a lot of drama and bad relationships. Trust me.
I actually learned this rule from the Relationship Management DVDs by Nick Savoy. When I first heard of this I finally figured out why all my fuck buddies started to see me as potential boyfriends.
Even though we both agreed that we would keep it casual, I would start to see her more than once a week. After a while the talk of “so what are we?” (define the relationship) would always come up and I just couldn’t figure out why this question came up every single time. Now I do. And you too.
The last part is also important. Every time you see her, it has to end in sex. You want to keep up the idea that you two like each other for the sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Break this rule and it’s the fast track to landing in boyfriend land.
So guys, if you want to keep your relationships really casual, follow this rule: Do not see the girl more than once a week and when you do see her it always ends in sex.
Have you had this problem before? I’m interested to hear how you guys got around this.
One of my wings is great at breaking down his own inner confidence and he explained to me how he got more confident over a period of time. We started out together learning how to meet women by studying Magic Bullets and applying the teachings out in bars and clubs. He was somewhat of a natural with women but when he learned Magic Bullets that’s when everything clicked and it got more efficient for him. Today, he is one of the best guys I know when it comes to picking up girls and teaching game to new guys. One thing I learned from him is adding new philosophies to my game.
Caution: This post is advanced. Most people will not understand this post upon first reading. I suggest you bookmark this post, read it in full, and read this again in a couple weeks to grasp the power of this content.
Every time I spent time around him, I am always amazed at the body of knowledge he has. Because he already had decent success with women before he discovered Love Systems and he hung around with naturals, he picked up a lot of nuances that he was able to break down. One of his philosophy he explained to me was that you are already perfect to someone. This is exactly what he said to me:
You have to realize that you are already fine the way you are and that there is only more room for growth. There are girls out there that like you for who you are right now. You are someone’s ten. You just haven’t found that person yet and it is your job as a man to find her.
This hit home hard with me.
That was part of the reason why I wrote my post on finding compatible women. This post is zooming in on the “green” girls I am talking about in that post and I recommend you read it before continuing with this post.
The belief is that you are already an attractive guy and you know that there are women out there that like for just who you are. Even if you are overweight, have bad skin, and you play World of Warcraft all day long; there are women who will like that about you.
The part of “there is only room for growth” is important. Even though you might be someone’s 10, you might not look at yourself that way. If you would rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, you might rate yourself a 5. Even at a 5, there are women who will like you for who you are and see you as a 10.
You are aware of the level where you are at and you are okay with that. Beware of it, but don’t feel insecure about it. Feel secure that you are aware of the level that you rate yourself 1-10.
Since you rated yourself lower than 10, you know there is room for growth. You have ambitions, goals you want to achieve, and plans you want to complete. That makes you normal. A year from now you might rate yourself a 7 and you can look back how you improved.
The women who liked you when you were a 5, might not like you when are now a 7. Or they might still like you. It depends on her but it doesn’t matter to you. You know there are now other women out there who like you being at 7 and possibly the women from the past.
A lot of women like you!
Now the second part is important. You have to be proactive about finding these girls that like you for who you are. In the dating world the men go after the women. I didn’t make the world, I just live in it. You cannot expect that women will come to you. Women can’t see you if you’re not moving. You have to do the approach and lead.
You can also look at it this way. You know you are fine the way you are. You know that there are women that like you for who you are. All you have to do is approach women and find out if they will like you for who you are. Put your best foot forward and see where it will take you. Be okay with women rejecting you because you know then that you were not her 10. Do enough approaches and you will find a girl that will like you.
Every time you get a “no”, you are getting a step closer to a girl who does see you as 10. That gives you drive. As my wing put it, “as men were are hunters and gatherers, it’s in our blood.”
You might wonder then “why would you want to learn game then? You can play just the numbers game.” The thing is, you are still playing the game. You thinking how to approach, that’s game. You approaching, that’s game. You smiling on the approach, that’s game. And so on. The game is never out of context.
Now I am not saying that by just having this belief that you will get amazing with women. I wrote about this earlier in how I believe I can get any girl. However, it is one philosophy that will improve your confidence, that will result in better success with women. Let me give you an example.
You have two guys, John and Mike, who are both equal to each other in every aspect. Both have the same belief of “I am fine the way I am and I am someone’s perfect person.” The only difference is that John sleeps with more women than Mike, even though they do the same amount of approaches.
Even though both men have the same belief, John gets more women than Mike. What is the point? This does not mean that there are more women who like John than they like Mike. No, John just has better game; he knows how to convey his personality better, how to escalate more efficiently, can pass tests better, and so on.
In other words, John has better “outer-game.” Even though you ingrain a new belief that will help you become more successful with women, you still need to translate that in the right behavior. That’s what bootcamps and 1on1 sessions will teach you (and the right mindsets). But the thing with beliefs and mindsets is that it takes a long period of time to stick. It’s not a band aid you just put on.
So how do you ingrain new beliefs? My buddy Daxx, another Love Systems instructor, recently wrote a post on getting new beliefs. It’s not an easy process. It is a process that you have to be conscious of and practice every single day, but it is really powerful.
Learning game is not about changing who you are. It’s about effectively communicating your personality and being able to seduce women. You are in control how many women will naturally like you for who you are. There are already women who like average Joe, but more women will like average Joe with game.
Just realizing that you are fine already but that you can always improve is really powerful. With more self-improvement, comes more options and power.
To summarize, Trent in Swingers said it best: “You are so money and you don’t even know it!”
If you are on the Love Systems Lounge, a private forum for Bootcamp Alumni, check out the post by Karea entitled “On The Numbers Game – Insights.” He broke down a very similar belief and has some great additional ideas with this belief.
Dahunter, another Love Systems instructor, recently wrote a piece on another belief that is very similar to this one. Check out his inner game belief.
Here are three cold reads you can use right away. These are pretty deep cold reads and will work best once you have connected with a woman (definitely not right after your opener!).
I have separated the cold reads by the type of women they work best. These have been field tested by me many times with success. Trust me. They are awesome.
Here are 3 simple ways to start a cold read:
Then launch one of these bombs.
Archetype: Party girls and strippers.
You want someone who can be nice, caring, and sensuous to you. On the other hand, you also want someone who treats you like a dirty slut. In reality you want someone who is in the middle but you can’t seem find this guy.
(For a more in depth version of this cold read, I have a full stripper routine)
Archetype: Dominant/masculine/bossy women.
I bet you intimidate a lot of guys and always wonder why you scare off some guys. In reality, you need someone who is more dominant than you are and someone who can put you into your place.
Archetype: Professional women.
Sometimes you wonder if being beautiful is a curse. I bet that in the workplace some people don’t take you serious because of your looks and that frustrates you.
After delivering the cold read usually the women will agree with you and they will open up. This is a great moment for storytelling where you can start sharing information about yourself and relating it to her.
Let me know how these work out for you. What was your success ?
I will be revealing a secret stripper routine that I recently came up with and have used with success on strippers to build attraction and an emotional connection. Normally this routine is only taught at the Strippers and Hired Guns seminar and kept away from everyone else. The routine was later on introduced on The Lounge (an invite-only forum for advanced guys) but now I am releasing it to the general public. At the bottom of this post you can hear me deliver the routine as I would deliver it to a stripper and exotic dancer.
I call the routine “fractured sexual identity” and it is a deep cold read that makes the stripper feel more connected to you on a sexual level. The cold read is originally from Sinn but I’ve expanded on it to make it a full routine and it gives you a couple minutes of conversation. It also gives you a lot of threads that you can tangent off from and depending where you are in interaction with the stripper, you can choose whether you want to show either more stripper preselection, go very sexual, or talk about other related topics to build an emotional connection.
If you want to learn more on stripper game, check out these articles on why you should learn stripper game and where to sit in strip clubs to pickup strippers. These are articles covering the fundamentals and this articles will give you some arsenal and has some advanced material.
Here is a common transcript when I run this routine on strippers and exotic dancers.
You: You know what, from just talking to you I can sense something about you that most people probably don’t see. I bet a lot of people think you’re a really confident person because you’re hot and funny, but in reality you’re not. I can tell that you have this fractured sexual identity.
Her: What? / What does that mean? (common response)
You: You are not sure what kind of guy you like. On one hand, you want a guy who is very caring, nurturing, and sensuous to you. But on the other hand, you just want be fucked like a dirty slut.
Her: That is so true! / (or they laugh)
You: Most guys you meet are either one of them. They are either super nice to you and are push-overs, or they are complete assholes to you. In reality you want someone who has both qualities and is kind of in the middle. He can be nice and sweet to you but you also want someone who doesn’t take your shit and can tell you to shut up once a while.
By running this routine you come off as someone who is very intuitive and you create some attraction and comfort. There are a lot of threads open that you can go into and what is so great about this routine is that you can calibrate where you are in the interaction with the stripper. Here are the most common responses and threads.
She is not believing you. I’ve had this once and it was the first time me field testing this stripper routine. Your delivery must be off when she is not believing you. You have this say with a straight face and talk with a tone like a scientist talks about the weather. Whenever she laughs at some of the remarks, do not respond to that with laughter. It’s really important not to react or smile to that because then the cold read loses its power.
She gets hooked deeper. The most common response is something in along lines of “Wow how did you know that?!” If she says that, I usually know that it’s not really “on” yet but she is getting more attracted. Plus, you know she is hooked even more and she wants to know more about what you can tell her. They will usually ask you what else you can tell about them. Don’t fall for this trap. Instead, it’s a great opportunity to ease that deep cold read with a tease (it’s like a built-in push-pull). My usually response to tell that is “I normally charge for that [wink]” and then transition into another conversational thread. At this early stage I know I still have work ahead of me and I usually transition where I show more stripper preselection, e.g. I talk about how most stripper boyfriends can’t handle their lifestyle or how nowadays guys are emasculated.
She tells you how she likes to have sex. This is a green light. This is a common response when you run this routine very late in the interaction. From my experience, I get this type of response after at least talking to her for half an hour, but more so after like 45 or 60 minutes in. Now you can go very sexual and escalate on the touching to sexual. I usually inquire how the girls likes to have sex and I share my preferences. The touching escalates to more sexual peppered with some takeaways. You want to be careful that you don’t go to sexual, leave that for in the seduction location, e.g. the bedroom.
SIDENOTE: Going very sexual with strippers is not recommended early on in the interaction. That’s the stripper’s power and you don’t want to play that game yet. However, later on when she is really attracted to you and she doesn’t see you as customer but as someone she would date, that’s when you can introduce sexual framing.
It’s fine to just run the transcript from above and then transition into a complete another conversational thread. I like to use the routine to setup the threads that I can later explore deeper with her. In a way you’re setting yourself for multiple threading which is an advanced technique for building rapport.
As a bonus, you can hear me deliver the routine as I would use it on a stripper. Enjoy.
Give this stripper routine a try and let me know how it works out for you by leaving a comment. If you want to learn more stripper routines, subscribe to my blog or attend one of the Strippers and Hired Guns seminars. In there, I, The Don, and Braddock teach many more routines to build attraction, comfort and how to pick up strippers and exotic dancers.
Here in the US it is holiday season. This Thursday is Thanksgiving followed with Black Friday. Then the biggest holiday of the year will take place: Christmas!
So what does that mean for you ? A lot of women will be shopping from today till Christmas. If there was a good time to practice your day game skills, this is it.
During the week, most people will be shopping between 5pm-9pm. Both Saturday and Sunday will be packed with shoppers. What are you waiting for?!
Here’s a video of #1 Day Game expert Jeremy Soul for inspiration.
Well….not true. I said this earlier in my finding compatible women post that no one can sleep with every girl he wants to. However, if you believe that you can sleep with every woman, that’s a different story. A belief doesn’t have to be true for it to work.
Big Business wrote a great post on this idea about how you want to have an attitude that you can get every girl. Just because I believe that I’m the greatest guy on the planet and I deserve the most beautiful women, does not automatically result in me getting the 9s and 10s. However, like Big Business explains, with the right mindsets and beliefs it will show in your behavior and subcommunications that you are someone that women find attractive (pre-selection).
Have you ever been to a strip before where almost none of the strippers would come over and talk to you? Or some exotic dancers wouldn’t even notice you were there?
To pick up strippers and exotic dancers you need to sit at the right spot in the strip club. It is really important where you sit down in a strip club. It can make or break your night. Either you will get a lot of approaches from strippers or you will get zero approaches.
If you are not getting many approaches then you are probably sitting in the wrong spot. Stripper game is somewhat of a numbers game and you will not get every stripper. Luckily, you don’t have to. All you need is one that night. To make the most out of your night you want to get as many approaches as possible to see which strippers are open for some adventure. One of the key points to playing stripper game is by getting as many approaches as possible. Generally, in a strip club you sit down and wait for girls to approach you. So how do you get more approaches?
For the readers who are new to learning stripper game: I recently wrote a post on why you want to learn stripper game. Read that to learn why everyone should be learning stripper game and why it is beneficial for your cold approach game.
There are some tips and tricks for getting more approaches from strippers. It’s all about where you sit in a strip club. Location is key. Just like it is for restaurants and street performers. You want to be where there is a lot of traffic.
Sit at high traffic spots
Sit near high traffic areas. This is the most important rule of all of them. If you had to follow one of the guidelines in this post, then this one triumphs. If you can combine the other guidelines too (see below), that would be perfect, but that’s not always possible. High traffic areas are king.
This may seem obvious but a lot of guys still make this mistake. If you are a street performer where would you rather perform: at a busy shopp ing area or in a desert? At a busy shopping area of course because there are more people. You apply the same principle for getting more approaches from strippers. Sit where there are a lot of strippers walking around.
High traffic spots include, in no particular order, near the girls bathrooms, near where strippers change their clothes, and near the bar. Exotic dancers will always be walking around those areas and you are immediately in their vision.
From my experience, the location near the stage entrance is not great. Even though a lot of girls walk around there, most of the time girls just go there to go on stage.
A good rule is to never sit down at the tipping rail. It’s the location at the stage where you sit down, see the exotic dancer dancing from up-close and you tip her money. Strippers call it “pervert row” and they usually don’t date the guys who sit there. So do not sit there. Here’s a map of where pervert row is.
There is an unwritten rule by strippers that they can’t steal the customers from other girls. So strippers will not approach you when you are sitting at pervert’s row and when there is a girl dancing on stage. Exotic dancers will approach you at the tipping rail when there is no girl dancing on stage, but even then it’s still rare that they do approach guys at the tipping rail.
You also don’t want to sit all the way in the back of the strip club. If girls need to walk far to get to you, they might not bother. Especially when there are a lot of other guys between the stage and where you are seated. If it is a dead night at the strip club (not many customers), then you can get away with sitting far away and is actually ideal.
Also, try to sit somewhere where it is dark. You want to be out of the view of the DJ (stripper might be dating or sleeping with him) and security staff (so it doesn’t feel like there is a big brother watching) when they are walking around. Stay out of their view as much as you can. That way you’ll have an environment which gives off an intimate feeling (which is great for comfort building and pacing the interaction), but more importantly it’s easier to get the phone number of the stripper.
Make it easy for strippers to approach you
Make sure you are sitting at a location where strippers can approach you from behind. Believe it or not, a lot of these exotic dancers have a bit of anxiety approaching guys. So to make it easy for themselves, they like to approach guys from behind. That is why you want to sit somewhere where there are no objects blocking your back so strippers can approach you from behind. So avoid sitting against a wall and having chairs blocking your back. It’s good if you are seated where you back is on a path where a lot of exotic dancers are walking.
Don’t have too many chairs around you either. All you need is one for the exotic dancer to sit next to you. If you have a bunch of chairs in front of you, you just make it harder for girls to approach you. It really makes a big difference. Do not make strippers go through a gauntlet and maze of chairs.
As soon as you sit down, make sure you have other one or two chairs around you. Make it easy for strippers to sit next to you so you can game them. Try to avoid having them sit on your lap because it shows too much interest right away and you are playing their game. You can disqualify yourself by saying you want them to sit next to you and it is easier to take control of interaction right then.
Advanced guys can get away with having strippers sit on their lap and gaming them, but for beginners it is not recommended.
I am going to a strip club for the first time. How do I find the best spots to sit down?
Whenever I go to a strip club for the first time I know that I will have to observe the venue first before I know where the hot spots are.
Here is a simple checklist to ask yourself to find out where you want to sit:
- 1. Where is the changing room?
- 2. Where is the stripper’s bathroom?
- 3. Where is the bar?
- 4. Is this a dead night or good night?
- 5. Where are the speakers?
All these questions affect where I am going to sit down. The first three are more logistical to figure out where the high traffic areas are. The fourth determines if I can sit somewhere secluded or not. On dead nights I want to sit somewhere dark and far away from the stage, but on busy nights I would sit where all strippers can see me and walk past me. The last one is more for convenience. If it’s loud and busy, I would just have to work with the loud music. However, if it’s dead but loud, I’ll do my best to find a spot that is the most quiet.
This is my general strategy when I enter a strip club I’ve never been before to find out where to best seats are. As soon as I walk in, I go to the bar and order a drink. This buys me time so I can go through that checklist and see where I want to sit down. As soon as the bartender is making my drink, I ask where the bathroom is and then go there. This buys me extra time and when I get back to the bar, I have usually walked around the venue to get a feel for the sound levels (you want to sit where it’s not too loud). By the time I get my drink I know where I want to sit down. Basically, in the beginning you want to buy yourself some time to scan the venue.
Strippers are very observant. As soon you step in the strip club, they watch your every move like a hawk. So when you try to look for a spot, try to make it seem natural by doing the steps I explained above. Do not walk in, stand there for a few minutes and looking for a place to sit down. That just looks weird and you give off the wrong impression. that you are uncomfortable
Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is where you sit down. It can make the difference between getting zero and ten approaches. In the Strippers and Hired Guns seminar by Braddock and The Don this is thoroughly discussed. Aside from that, you will get more material and information that is not publicly known to pickup strippers. Check it out sometime if you want to learn how to pickup strippers. Or just keep reading my blog :)
Saturday Daxx had an 1on1 with a student who took a LA bootcamp a couple months back. Daxx asked me if I wanted to help out and of course I said yes. I cleared my schedule and volunteered to help Daxx and the student.
The student had zero approach anxiety thanks to the bootcamp. He could approach and transition, but then he would get stuck. This is a really common sticking point and I went through this myself.
We focused a lot on mindsets, teasing, and push/pull. After a couple hours of theory we later met up at the club. Braddock was also in town so he joined to help out for the infield.
That’s right. The student got me, Braddock, and Daxx (3 instructors!) for the price of 1. This is not standard or part of any 1on1. So if you do a 1on1 with me, Daxx, or Braddock don’t expect another instructor to help out. This student was just fortunate enough that me and Braddock were in town and had time to chip in.
Even two other dating gurus, who you definitely know, that we saw at the club said it was unheard of having three instructors helping a student for the price of one. It would normally cost thousands of dollars!
We have a bunch of instructors who really care about the students and their success. That’s why Love Systems rocks!
Oh yeah, the student bounced 2 girls but in the end he was too tired to fuck one of them. I guess we taught him well….. ;)
Social circle game is the next level of game everyone should be playing. Some people call it Game 2.0; the next step for meeting and dating beautiful women. Most literature in the seduction community is about cold approach and there is very little coverage of social circle game. Th is i s slowly changing as more info on social circle game came out, e.g. the creation of the Social Circle Mastery (SCM) seminar by Braddock and Mr M.
SIDENOTE: For those who are not with familiar with social circle game; It’s the art of meeting and dating women through friends and people you know. That means that the girl you might be interested in, knows you through a friend of her’s or you two know similar people. There is a weak and/or extended relationship between you and the girl you might be interested in. It’s not a cold approach because you and her already have some affiliation with each other.
Social circle game has literally changed my life. First it was a bootcamp that opened up my eyes what is possible when it comes to meeting and dating beautiful women. Then it was social circle game that really gave me (and I’m still working on this) the lifestyle where I get access to a lot of quality women. There are a lot more benefits of mastering social circle game, but here are 3 reasons why you should learn social circle game.
1. You will get the hottest girls.
Cold approach can be brutal. If you want to get the hottest girls in the venue, you really have to be “ON” that night. If you are not, you will most likely not get one of them. The reality is, you will not be on top of your game every night you go out.
What I’m trying to say is that with social circle game you will get consistently more hot girls in your bed. One of the reasons is that in social circles you can “game” more than one girl at the same time and you can lock in your value/gains. Plus, once you sleep with the top-tier girls of your social circle it will make it much easier to sleep with the other hot girls in that social circle. In Social Circle Mastery this is called the waterfall principle.
Another thing is that a lot of women do not go out to night clubs or bars. Instead they might be at dinner parties or exclusive mansion parties. You need access to these places to get these types of women. So you need to know people that can get you in. Which brings up the next point.
2. You understand how friendships work.
How many people actually understand how making friends works and how social circles work? I would guess not that many. People just assume that “over time things just happen.” Understanding how the process of building friendships works is so important and a vital skill set to have because it gives you the ability to decide where you want to take the interaction with a person.
Do you want to make this girl your friend? Or do you want to sleep with her? Once you understand the differences between cold approach and social circle game, you can utilize the knowledge to your advantage.
Also, making friends and connections with other people is really important for business networking and enriching your life. That person might get you access to these exclusive dinner parties or house parties I was talking about earlier.
Every networking party or conference I’ve been to after taking SCM has been so beneficial. I knew exactly what to do to make someone a friend of mine and how get myself introduced to people I wanted to meet.
Once you understand how it works and you have the skill set, you never have to worry about having people around you. You could move to a new city and have new social life within just a couple weeks. You can meet the people you want to meet, whether these are bartenders, executives, hot girls, or gay friends ;)
3. You can get out of the friend zone and still get the girl.
A lot of you guys have this one girl that they are friends with and she is someone they would sleep with as soon they could. It’s just too bad she sees him as a friend and he has ruined all his chances of getting her. It’s impossible to escape the dreaded friend zone. Or is it?
No, you can escape the friend zone and get the girl. You just have to know how. There are two parts to this. The first step is getting out of the friend zone. Most guys think they should just wait for one night where you see an opportunity to sleep with her and then go for it. Or they think that after she dated all these assholes that she will finally realize that she needed this nice guy who was there all along.
NO. There are some problems with these viewpoints. When you are trying to get the girl in bed and you screw up, you will end up with more problems than you had before. Women don’t want to sleep with their guy friends they are not attracted to.
Second, that moment will never come where she is turning 180 and goes for you. There are calculated ways to escape the friend zone (field tested!) and keeping the girl around in your life. The best approach is to limit contact with her. My boy Daxx wrote a post on getting out of the friend zone if you want to know how to do it.
The second step is how you behave once you have escaped the friend zone. Now that you have escaped that black hole you have to know how to get the girl and not make the same mistake again.
The gist is that you have to show her that you are a new person and you’re not the old person she saw as a friend. She now has to see you as this sex-worthy guy so when you first meet her again, flirt and escalate more than you used to do. Let her know you’re interested in her and that you see her more than just a friend.
I could probably give you 10 more reasons why you should learn social circle game, but these three should be convincing enough. It really is the next step to meeting beautiful and high quality women. You think guys like Jeremy Piven meet women through cold approach? No, he gets girls introduced to him and he meets them through friends and acquaintances. We want to play the same kind of game and if you take Social Circle Mastery you know how to play it.
Love Systems was recently featured in The Economist. Tenmagnet wrote his view on the article here. This post is just my opinion on the news article. The author starts describing a session of Project Rockstar and then starts talking about online dating websites. There is one quote in there that stuck out:
… online giants are missing a trick that the underground pick-up industry learned long ago. “You can meet the best people in the world and still screw it up because you don’t know how to date,” he says. “People need help, guidance, style counselling…feedback when a date goes wrong.”
There is nothing else like live training and working face-to-face with a dating coach. He can correct your body language, point out ticks and weird facial expressions you have, improve your speech pattern, correct your tonality, teach you physical escalation, improve your style, and more. Plus, a dating coach can show you how to do it. He can show you how to approach, how to get a phone number, how to setup a date, and so on.
Then you do it and he will give you feedback how to improve your game. No online dating service can do that for you. They are just a service for you to find a match. Once you do get a girl out you need to be able to close the deal. That’s where bootcamps and 1on1 personal training come into play because we teach you these things.
So if you do a lot of online dating but you cannot seem to close the deal, you might want to work with a dating coach to improve your success. Braddock wrote an excellent post how to pick your dating coach.
So it was Sunday night and I was looking through my phone realizing that I have a lot of numbers I haven’t contacted lately. My first thought was: “Time to have some fun with these numbers.” I sent out a mass text with a text message I got from the upcoming book “The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game” by Braddock and Mr M. One interaction ended up with a girl calling me.
Backstory: I met her about 3 months ago at a club and I talked to her for maybe 5 minutes at the end of the night. She was all over me that she gave me both her work and personal phone number. I tried to pull her that night, but logistics weren’t great. So I tried booty texting later that night but she never got back to me. And then 3 months went by….
Here’s the text conversation I had with her. Result? She called me and we had a 5 minute conversation where she remembered me again. I didn’t make any plans yet, but if I end up closing this girl I’m gonna…..go apeshit I guess.
About 2 minutes later she calls me.
That’s the power of text game.
Picking up exotic dancers (“strippers”) at strip clubs are the hardest girls you will ever pick up. These gorgeous girls are there to work and make money. They are not there to meet a guy. These hired guns are aware that every guy in the strip club wants them.
It is one skill set to take a beautiful woman home from a bar or club, but totally another skill set to pick up a stripper while she is working. You need tighter game and your margin for error with strippers is almost zero. It’s required to have really good cold approach game before you even want to try to pick up an exotic dancer at a strip club. Stripper game takes cold approach skills times ten.
If you can pick up an exotic dancer at a strip club, you can pick up girls anywhere. Learning how to pick up a stripper is a valuable skill set and will complement your game in many areas. Here are 5 reasons why you want to learn stripper game in order to improve your cold approach game.
1. Get comfortable around beautiful women.
A lot of guys have no problem approaching average or good looking girls, but when that 9 or 10 comes along they freeze. It’s because they aren’t comfortable being around exceptionally beautiful women. If you are around beautiful women all the time you will desensitize yourself from their beauty. You will learn that hot girls are no different from normal girls. You will stop putting them on a pedestal and you will never think again that “she is out of your league.” Sometimes it takes dating a couple really hot girls to discover this. If you haven’t yet, your best option is to surround yourself with really beautiful women all the time and through osmosis pick up the subtle cues.
The thing is, exceptionally beautiful women are hard to find. Getting access to these turbo girls is the hardest part. You need to be around a lot of beautiful women to learn how they think and act. Fortunately, strip clubs are open 7 days/week and filled with the hottest girls with a wide variety of girls your city has to offer.
When you’re in a strip club, it looks like you have the power. You sit down and wait for a hot girl to approach you. You get what you see. That smoking hot girl that is half naked will sit on your lap, touch you and have a conversation with you. When she leaves, the next hot half naked girl will approach you. If you go plenty of times to strip clubs then eventually you will get used having hot girls around you. Plus, once you have good game and start dating a couple of them you will learn that these girls are just like any other girl.
Just because they are exotic dancers doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. She is just another pretty girl. Subsequently, every hot girl now you approach will sense through your subcommunications that you have been around hot girls like her. That automatically makes you look confident and she will automatically assume positive traits about you (preselection).
2. Test of your conversational and frame control skills.
Stripper game focuses a lot on verbal communication. Your body language and subcommunications are still very important, but your conversation becomes more important in stripper game than normal cold approach game. You are seated with her on your lap or she is seated next to you. As soon you start talking the clock starts ticking. You need to be able to steer the conversation to your advantage and escalate verbally along the way. You need to disengage her mind that she is in the strip club to make money by having a good and interesting conversation. Time and money are your biggest enemies in a strip club.
Exotic dancers have no tolerance for bullshit. If they can sense you’re not going to fork over the money, they’re gone. So they will test your frame and break it as soon as they can. They don’t want to waste time so they will test you a lot. If you flinch or fail the test (you get no chance to recover from failure with strippers) you lose and she is off to the next guy. That’s why your margin for error with exotic dancers is so small because their tolerance level is so low. It’s your job to maintain control of the conversation and don’t let her hijack your frame and conversation. Remember, these girls are gamers. They game you for money and you are gaming a gamer. It’s the clash of titans and the one with the stronger frame wins. You better be the one with the stronger frame. Practicing frame control techniques is great in strip clubs because these girls will constantly test you for it. The Don, a god when it comes to picking up strippers, summarizes it in one sentence: “You might be $60 an hour interesting, but are you $200 an hour interesting?”
3. Makes your attraction game diverse and fluid.
Getting girls attracted to you is not very hard. Anyone who has done over a couple hundred approaches can even tell you this. Attraction can be generated in seconds, but with strippers this is a lot harder and you need all three types of attraction effectively used. Mr M dissected the different types of attraction in his post The Comprehensive Guide to Attraction. For the sake of this article, we will focus on three types of attraction: state based, intrigue based, and warm and fuzzy attraction. Most guys can get away with either being really good at just one of these types of attraction. Some guys are naturally good at being funny and silly (state based), others can be very interesting and mysterious (intrigue based), while some guys can also show, besides their masculine traits, their softer side (warm and fuzzy).
In order to successfully pick up a stripper, you need to be able to do all of them multiple times throughout the pickup. In cold approach you might get away with just being with building one type of attraction, but that doesn’t work with strippers. You need to be able to pump up her emotions (state based), get her logical mind engaged (intrigue based), and make her feel connected to you on a deeper level (warm and fuzzy) all mixed with each other and fluidly transition between them. When you can make an exotic dancer attracted to you, that’s a good barometer of how strong your attraction game is. You are able to use all three types of attraction to make any girl feel attracted to you. Before you might have gotten away by just utilizing one type of attraction, but after you learn stripper game you can use all three types of attraction building techniques to make virtually any girl attracted to you.
4. Really good qualification.
You came to the strip club to see some tits and ass. These girls are aware of that as soon you step in the strip club. They know already that you like them for their beauty. Every guy does. To successfully pick up a stripper you need to show her that you don’t like her just for her beauty, but also for personality and other non-physical characteristics. This is very difficult because you’re going into their territory where men generally are going after the women for just their beauty and body. At the same time that’s their power but you have to flip the script where you are the sexual selector. You do this by running VERY GOOD qualification and giving her compliments that make her feel validated. Remember, qualification is key for building good rapport and comfort with her. Without qualification, she won’t feel validated by you nor invested in you. Qualification for exotic dancers is not much different, but it needs to be tighter.
Strippers get compliments on their beauty all the time but never for non-physical characteristics, like their personality, sense of humor, ambitions, beliefs, and so on. It’s not good enough to show her that you like her for non-physical things. It’s necessary, but not sufficient. You really need to hit her hard on different personality characteristics in order for an exotic dancer feel validated by you and to make her invest in you. By getting her invested in you she will backwards rationalize that she’s attracted to you (cognitive dissonance) and you open the door for building comfort with her. If you can do this with strippers, you can do it to any girl and it will be even more powerful.
5. Solid comfort game.
Building an emotional connection is essential for exotic dancers and the majority part of stripper game is going to be comfort game. This is different from night game where you don’t always have to have a strong emotional connection and the majority is attraction game. For picking up strippers you need regular comfort game but it has be tight, flow, and make her feel so connected that she almost is crying because of the rollercoaster of emotions she is feeling. It’s regular comfort game on steroids.
Even though these girls are among the hottest girls in your city, you have to remember they are just like any girl. They have insecurities, are sick of being judged, misunderstood, and guys just wanting them for their body. Plus other annoyances every hot girl has. If you can show her that you understand her by running wide and deep rapport then she will feel strongly connected to you and validated. That emotional connection has to be really strong because strippers are among the flakiest people you will ever meet. You thought that hot club girl was flaky? Multiply that times ten with strippers.
One thing you need to keep in mind with stripper game is this: SILENCE IS DEATH. That goes back to having good conversational skills. If you let the conversation die for just a little bit, she will get back to her routine trying to get money from you. You’ll need to be able to talk, talk, talk, and talk. If you can’t run your mouth for long periods of time, you will not be able to pick up a stripper. That doesn’t mean you can just rant. You have to talk to her that is emotionally appealing and that makes her feel connected to you unlike any guy she has ever met.
In a cold approach setting you can wander off, reopen later, do hard takeaways and all that. With strippers, not so much. As soon you two are talking, you’ll have to get to work by continually running your mouth. That doesn’t mean that she can’t say anything back or that it’s a monologue, but the main idea is that the conversation can NEVER die. You need to build this particular skill set. This immensely helps your game for on dates. In a stripper pick up you constantly need to be talking but on a date you can slow it down while running the same comfort game to make her feel connected and validated by you. Ever since I acquired this comfort game, I’ve been able to sleep with a majority of girls on the first date.
Are you discouraged learning stripper game? Don’t be intimidated by stripper game because it’s actually easy to learn. I learned it in a short span of time, but I definitely credit this by taking the Strippers and Hired Guns seminar by Braddock and The Don. They teach you a model for picking up strippers so you can learn it step-by-step and you will know that to do. They will also give you material you can use so you know what to say and when to say it. Now I regularly date strippers which are perfect for friends with benefits relationships (that’s what I want right now in my life). I credit my stripper game 100% on that seminar. If you want to learn how to pick up strippers, definitely check it out.
One big fallacy I see when guys first start to learn how to meet women is that they think they can get every girl with the tools we teach them. This is simply not true. We teach you structured opportunities to meet and date more women, but never ever will you get every woman. Any guy who says he can teach you to get every girl is a fraud. It does not happen. I used to believe when I learned the “pickup artist tools” that I could get every girl, but soon enough I found out that’s simply not the case. What “having game” gives you is more choice of women to date but there will always be a group of women who will just not be attracted to you no matter what. The goal is to find compatible women and women who are open to date you. The following idea was first brought up on another lair board but first broken down on a bootcamp by dating coach Braddock. I’ve exp anded upon the idea and dissected it further.
I’ve separated women in the dating pool in three groups in terms of compatibility. This has nothing to do with a woman’s beauty, but what some people call “chemistry.” Naturally there are women that are just not compatible with you (red). Then there is a pool of women that will like you just for who you are (green). The biggest group is the women who are indifferent (gray). The following diagram summarizes it.
Remember this diagram from your statistics class? You can see the dating pool as a bell curve. On one end of the bell curve, red, is the group of women that you will never get. No. Matter. What. Accept it. Some of these women won’t give you any time when you approach or you find out that a girl has all the turn-offs you have on your list. Either way, that pool of women is not for you.
All the way on the other end of the bell curve is the group of women that are naturally compatible with you. These are the women who immediately like you and are attracted to you without you having any game. With these women, all you have to do is not screw it up to get them. A lot of guys, before they discovered Love Systems, felt like they were in a relationship with a “green” girl because it was always the girl picking the guy. But we are here to expand our options and have the option for who we pick to meet and date.
The women in the gray zone are initially open to meet you and figure out if you are someone she wants to date. This is the biggest dating pool. Most women you will meet will fall in the gray zone. Now, this is where “game” comes in. These are the women where you need “game” to get them because they are indifferent before you two meet. It’s your job to make her feel attracted to you (”chemistry”) and lead the way to a possible relationship. By having decent game you will no longer be limited to just the women in the green zone but you will also be able to meet and date women in the gray zone.
SIDENOTE: What I would do with the women who I meet and are “red” is I will try to make these girls my friend. I can’t get them attracted to me or date me, but I will try to make them at least my friend. Why? To expand my own social circle but also because these “red” girls might have female friends that are “green” or “gray” (and beautiful of course!) that I could possibly date.
If you had no game, you would just be limited to the women in the green zone and you would think all the women you meet are in the “red” zone. Unfortunately, that is what most guys have to settle for and I used to be one of them. Since you are reading this post you are likely a guy who wants to be able to consistently date women in the green AND gray zone. So don’t waste your time with women who are naturally “red.” That is your biggest enemy and you will waste a lot of time. Instead, focus on the girls who are “green” and “gray”, especially “gray.” You will notice in the beginning when you try to learn Love Systems that most women you meet will be in the gray zone. As you get better and better more women will fall into the green zone. Which brings up the next point.
Expand Your Green Zone
Besides learning game to expand your options with women, you can also work on yourself to expand your dating pool choices. You can boost your natural attractiveness to women by working out, getting a fashion makeover, grooming, and with general self-improvement.
Just learning game will expand your green zone too because you naturally become a guy that is attractive to women. You become more funny, understand women, can pass tests women give you, and so on.
Another way to expand your green zone would be to workout and get in shape. Regular exercise helps your success with women in many ways. You will feel better, look better in your clothes, have better skin, and is healthy for your mind too. Plus, it helps your state control when you go out and you will be better in bed because you will last longer / perform better.
Another easy step would be to get a new haircut and wardrobe to change your look. Looks matter, but not as much as you would think. Savoy summarizes it best in this video.
SIDENOTE: If you are interested in a fashion makeover and/or tailored style tips, contact me.
Self-improvement is a big area, but some suggestions would be read more books, travel, take more hobbies, get more friends, and improve your career. All these tips, plus the ones mentioned earlier in the article, are good starters and will expand the amount of “green” girls. Add having good game and you will be able to date A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
In my opinion, you want to expand your green zone as much as you can up to the point where you need very little game to meet and date beautiful women. Why? Because your green zone is so big that it gives you more women than you can handle (and you don’t need to find women in the gray zone). This is where social circle game will be your next piece and having that lifestyle where your health, wealth, and relationships are at its peak. That’s worth explaining in another post.
The past weekend I helped Jeremy Soul out at his workshop in Chicago. I’ve never been there before so I was excited for helping out at the workshop and discovering a new city. I left the Love Systems office on Friday night and landed in Atlanta around 5am. Got to love red-eye flights. With my flight to Chi-city at about 7:30 am, I had 2 hours to kill.
This is why I love the Atlanta airport; the chairs have no armrests. So I laid down, occupied 3 chairs and took a power nap. When I woke up, several people were looking at me weird. I must have snored hard!
I arrive at my accommodation around 10am, and the infield session was starting at 2pm. Another quick powernap before I met up with Jeremy. We meet up in downtown Chicago. Did I tell you it was cold? Just 24 hours ago I was enjoying 80F, but in Chicago I had to cope with 45F. BIG DIFFERENCE! Other than that, downtown area is pretty cool. Kind of reminded me of NYC.
We had a great bunch of guys, ranging from never have done a cold approach before to being proficient at keeping the conversation going but not closing. After terrorizing the mall and streets we left a group of guys better than we met them. All of them improved their game and reached their goals. One in particular, I believe, later went on a date with a girl he met during the infield portion. AWESOME.
Later at night, we had a house party for Halloween. I bought Soul his costume as a convict in orange jump suit. I was wearing my priest outfit holding the bible version of The Game. Epic. Later we went to a bar to celebrate and I almost took a girl back, but she freaked out when she got in the cab. Fuck takeaways ;) I text Braddock for strip club suggestions (every city I visit I have to check out a strip club) and he gives me one. I go and end up getting a free HJ. It’s a new technique I’ve been field testing lately with success, so at some point it might get added to the Strippers & Hired Guns seminar.
The next day I said good bye to Soul and flew back to LA. The Monday after, back to work at the LS office. Good times.
That’s the life of a weekend warrior ! Got pics from Halloween?
That’s the life of a weekend warrior ! Got pics from Halloween?
Yeah I do. Dig my Facebook or Twitter for pics ;)
Yeah I do. Dig my Facebook or Twitter for pics ;)
Pleasure as always working with you, sir.
Pleasure as always working with you, sir.
About a week ago Savoy invited me to become a Love Systems instructor. After working on it for a ye ar on bootcamps with Braddock, The Don, Savoy, Cajun, and Tenmagnet it has finally come to fruition. I’ve come a long way when I first started learning how to meet women. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Read my bio or about page to find out more about me.
This blog is where I will publish my articles, share my dating experiences, rant, and share lots of random thoughts. Subscribe to my blog if you want to stay up-to-date on my blog or you can follow me on Twitter.