Gil Rio Infield Footage (Daytime Dating)

My boy Gil Rio just released this video where you see him approach a girl and he breaks down what he’s doing. His breakdown is excellent and you can learn a lot from watching this 20+ minute video.

Daytime Dating

10 Day of Awesomeness. Can you handle it?

Two Love Systems instructors are doing a 10-day bootcamp. I don’t think anything like this has happened before. Most students “complain” (it’s not really a complaint) that the bootcamp is too short. Well, now you can do 10 days and you learn tons of advanced stuff like Social Circle Mastery and other specialty seminars that are included.

Plus it’s being held in Sweden, the land of the gorgeous women. So what are you waiting for:

http://www.10-day-pua.com/

Announcements

6 Questions To Ask Yourself To Improve Your Game

A lot of guys have made new years resolutions to improve their game and have more women in their lives. We are now in February so I’m wondering how that is working out for you. Most people lose sight of their goals after that new year high, which is a shame. So I’m blogging here to see if you are still working on your game. I’ve compiled 6 questions for you to diagnose yourself.

This is something I do every year to improve my game. Every December I always try to look back over the year and see what I did well and what I can improve. My annual review is really important because that’s what I use to set goals for the upcoming year. Especially when I was trying to learn Love Systems (before I became an instructor), I made leaps in my game by making sure that every year I reflect back on how my game has progressed. There are a couple questions I asked myself that made me reflect how good (or bad) my dating life was that year.

Even though we are way past the new year, this is still very valuable going forward. I want to share these questions with you, specifically applied to your dating life. I highly recommend you try to answer these for yourself and be honest.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied were you with your dating life in 2010?

This gives you a quick snapshot how great your dating life is and can be very telling.

2. Why did you score that way?

Why did you give yourself that score? It’s really important to ask yourself this question. For a lot of guys, it’s because they didn’t go out enough. Or is it something different for you? Sometimes it’s really frustrating when you’re hitting a sticking point and you can’t seem to get past it. Whatever your reasons are, write them down.

3. What are your biggest accomplishments in 2010 since learning Love Systems?

Note every accomplishment you achieved after finding Love Systems. Perhaps it’s that you talked to more women that you ever had before. Maybe you had more dates and slept with more women. Whatever it is, write down all your accomplishments.

Now be proud of them. No seriously, I mean it. Read over that list and be happy about it. Your brain loves seeing positive results and it motivates you. For me, I had a hard time coming up with them when I first started with Love Systems. As soon I started to write them down (my first year I got more dates that I could handle) I started to realize how amazing my dating life actually was. Sometimes you don’t know what you have unless you are conscious of them.

4. What are the biggest lessons learned in 2010?

Sometimes when you’re out applying Love Systems, you’ll have an epiphany. What were those epiphanies for you? Write down those moments where the light bulb came on.

A lot of those came for me during the initial 2-3 minutes (I had to be more playful and teasing) and when I lost a girl along the way to my bedroom (“logistics”). The next day I’d think where I lost it and then it would hit me. The solution was then ingrained in my mind and the next time I wouldn’t lose the girl again in the same situation.

5. What are your current sticking points?

This is actually a question I ask myself every couple months, but I wanted to make sure you do this (at least) every year. If you have no idea what you’re current sticking points are, let me help you out here…

Can you consistently kiss a girl?

I really like this question because it involves a lot of moving parts:

As you can see it involves all three tracks in the Love Systems Triad Model. If you answered a “no” to that question, what part of the Triad Model do you have to work on?

6. What are your immediate next steps to overcome those sticking points?

Now that you have identified what your sticking points are, setup a game plan to overcome them. To skyrocket your game, sometimes you have to approach it from a scientific angle. That means logging and tweaking each experiment. This is what I used to do:

If you are having troubles coming with a game plan, just ask me and I should be able to help you out. I’m always available for personal consultations, like over the phone or in person.

I really hope this was useful to you. Trust me, do these exercises and, over time, it will really help take your game to the next level.

Dating Advice

Social Circle Mastery DVDs Are Out

It’s finally so far. After years of speculation former seminar Social Circle Mastery is now available on DVD. The home study allows you to watch the whole seminar at your own convenience and pace. That’s one of the greatest things of home study courses. You can rewatch it any time you want to fully grasp the concepts and every single time you watch it again, you get a new level of understanding of the material.

Even though I took the Social Circle mastery seminars when they first came out, I went to every single of them (perks working at LS) and I got new insights I missed before. It’s like for all students who take a second bootcamp with us. The second time is better than the first one because students tend to get more out of it even though it’s almost the same stuff.

It’s funny how a lot of the marketing of pickup companies work. You’ll see a picture of a guy surrounded by hot women and that should get your attention. Then they claim they can teach you that you can achieve that image; being the guy surrounded by all these women. Well guess what….with cold approach that’s not really the case. In cold approach, most of the women you date and hook up with don’t even know of each other’s existence. You have a girl here, a girl there, and a girl in area code 90210, but they never get together and meet each other (you’ll get drama…trust me).

Social circle actually gives you the ability to achieve that status of being the guy women want. In a social circle setting there can be multiple women chasing you….and they can all know each other. It’s like you’re the ultimate prize in that group of friends, all the women want you, and they know other women want you. It’s a great position to be in, but you have to know how to do it. That to me, is one of the biggest values you will get out of Social Circle Mastery.

Announcements

Common mistake: The Kiss of Death

There is one mistake I see guys (who try to master Love Systems) make all the time. It’s a common mistake for beginners and it’s what I call the Kiss of Death. The Kiss of Death is when you try to kiss the girl while her friends are around.

If you try to kiss the girl when her friends are around, you will get rejected MOST of the time. Even if she likes you a lot, most of the time she will still reject you. Especi ally girls who are part of a big group. The reason is that women do not want to be perceived as “too easy” or “slutty.” Kissing in front of friends makes them look like that.

From my experience, you can sometimes get away with it with girls who come in pairs (2-sets). Even then, your best move still to isolate and then try to kiss when the friend isn’t around.

Now, do not think that when you have the kiss of death happen to you that the interaction is over. A lot of guys think that if the girl rejects you when you try to initiate the kiss, it’s game over. It’s actually the opposite. It shows you have cojones (balls if you like) and go for things you want, which are attractive. The exception is when she rejects you hard like “WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU DIRTY HAMSTER?” but then it’s not the kiss of death that killed it, the setup was wrong! When you get something like that, she was just friendly and not attracted. The fix? Work on your attraction game and make sure you’re physically escalating up to the kiss.

Whenever you initiate the kiss, unknowingly in front of her friends or not, and she resists, simply smile and say “I understand your friends are here” (credit The Don), act like it was no big deal, and start talking about something else. Later on try again (make sure her friends aren’t around) and then try again. You’ll see the kiss of death is a thing of the past then.

Dating Advice

Social Circle Game Conference Call

2011 is going to kick off with a bang. Love Systems is going to host a free conference call on social circle game. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’m a big proponent of social circle game (read 3 reasons why you should learn social circle game). Meeting women through friends and (business) contacts is a very good way to meet women, especially if you are someone who doesn’t go out much at night or relies on online dating.

If you are a young professional like me, this is even more important. When you just get out of college, it’s like starting all over again. The dating game is different than in college. Most guys meet their girlfriend through work or friends, but if you have no clue how to initiate that….you’re stuck. It’s not like college where you can just crash a party and meet some girl.

Professional women, especially who have aspirations and have something going on besides their looks, are sometimes too busy to go out at night. They will be working their assess off and work on their career. You might be able to catch these trophies using day game, but if you are already doing that and you add social circle game on top off that you’ll get more AWESOME women than you handle.

To my older audience, you might recognize yourself in this situation. When you get older, you’ll see most of your friends settling down. Your buddies are settling down with their girlfriend or even getting married (maybe even having kids!), but then you’re still single. I know tons of guys in that situation….and they HATE it. Their friends are getting babies and there you are trying to figure out what to do with your dating life. Trust me, you don’t want to be in that situation.

(One of the fastest ways to get depressed is comparing yourself to other people who have it better than you AND thinking that you’re lacking that in your area of life. Please don’t do that.)

I highly suggest you get on this free conference call. If you are remotely interested in increasing the number of awesome women in your life, you want to get on this call. Some things you will discover:

To get on the call is really easy. Click here to find out more. Did I mention it’s free? You have nothing to lose, so do yourself a favor and get on there. You can punch me in the face if you don’t get any value out of the call (which I doubt pretty much when you have Savoy and Braddock on the call). So again, click here if you want to be on the call before Jan 11 2011.

Announcements

I’m back BITCHES!

Hey guys,

It has been a while since I last blogged. Last time must has been around mid-September. There was a server hiccup which lost all my blog files, drafts (so much awesome content gone forever), comments, and images. Fortunately I was able to restore all images back to normal (there were some pixelated images restored earlier) and also all the comments are back up. So it’s back to 99% to its old state.

I’m a schizophrenic when it comes to backing up. I backup every week religiously both through Mozy for cloud storage and through a local backup on an external backup. So if I ever lose my laptop or my data is gone, I’ll only lose a week of work. So through digging all these archives I’ve been able to make this blog like it was. So happy about that.

Reality is, it was a lot of work getting everything back up and also it kind of made me stop blogging for a bit. After some grinding it’s back up. So I’m ready again to release some awesome content for in 2011.

I have big plans for 2011 and I’ll definitely blog about them. Stay tuned.

Blog Posts

Bonsai on Social Circle Game

I recently did a podcast with Vince Kelvin for the upcoming PUA Summit. The topic is about social circle game and my take on it. Check it out here.

Dating Advice

She Is Out Of Your League….Or Is She?

I came across an interesting thread on the biggest dating advice forum for men The Attraction Forums. The topic is about a phrase I hear all to often: “She is out of your league.” You can read the thread here. The main point of the thread is that there is some truth that some women are out of your league, with a caveat. Below is my response in the thread, but I added some additional content to it.

On a superficial level, no girl is out of your league. Just because a girl is extremely beautiful, that doesn’t mean that you can’t get her. When it comes to dating, meaning over a longer period of time seeing each other, I would say there is some sort of “league.”

Generally people tend to date within their socio-economic status. There is research to back this up (google it if you want). Like it was said earlier, a super model will not date a burger-flipper at McDonalds. If a woman is used to dating wealthy men, guess what…she will end up dating MOST of the time a wealthy man.

Based on just the looks of a woman, you cannot tell what her socio-economic status is. I’ve dated hot girls who were really poor (typical in Los Angeles lol) and I’ve dated hot girls who were well off. You won’t know her lifestyle until you actually go out with her and date her for a bit. Whenever you first meet a girl and take her home the same day/night, socio-economic status plays no role at all. Once you two get more serious, then it does.

One girl I met was used to dating really wealthy men. When we started dating more, she started to complain to me how she was used to going on far trips, having a limo drive her everywhere, guys paying for gifts, etc. With my current income I couldn’t sustain her lifestyle so naturally we don’t date anymore. Last time I checked my Facebook, she is still living the glamor lifestyle she is so used too.

What is interesting is that we would sleep with each other once a while even though she was dating other guys. Why? Because these guys could play the “provider” for her while I could be the “sex-worthy” guy for her, but in the end it wasn’t good enough to keep her around. That’s the reality. I could have said that I was sick and tired of her BS, but the reality is she was used to having this extravagant lifestyle that I couldn’t offer her. I could offer her good sex, but not the lifestyle. And as we all know, relationships based on just sex don’t last forever.

On the other side, within social circle situations and situations where you have to take girls out on several dates, socio-economic status does play a bigger role because the woman can size you up over a longer period of time and see if you two are “compatible” that way.

If you meet a girl who is used to going on fancy and expensive dinner dates, you want to make sure your date gives off the same idea/vibe. Taking her to a college sports bar will make you lose points. That doesn’t mean your date has to be expensive too, but it will have to be a bit more classier.

So does money get women? Indirectly, yes. Money won’t get you women directly, but it gets you in the door. When it comes to dating hot girls, most of the time it’s about access. You need to be at places where they are. A lot. This is where money can be of great help, because it can buy you access to places. Most simplified example is bottle service. Some exclusive clubs require that you have bottle service or you won’t get in. Guess what….at those clubs are also the more desirable women. So yes, money does help INDIRECTLY getting hot girls. if you have the money to buy yourself access to places where hot women are, and you add Love Systems skills on top of that, you’ll be MONEY! :-)

There are always exceptions, but generally people do date within their socio-economic status. So learning Love Systems skills is one way to go to play a better league. If you can add a good career and an interesting lifestyle on top of that, you will live the life of a playboy.

My point is, no matter how beautiful the woman is and what your socio-economic status is, you can still get “that” girl. Even if you don’t make that much money, you can still pick up beautiful women with the right skills. Money becomes an issue when you and her are getting really serious, like in exchanging social circles and moving in together. Even then, if you two really love each other it shouldn’t be a huge obstacle.

One of my close friends isn’t making that much money. He just graduated college and is working a 9-5 office job, but he is dating a really beautiful and successful girl. I would date her myself if he didn’t meet her before me. She is a pretty successful CPA and makes way more money than my friend does, but she is still dating him despite their socio-economic difference. In fact, they are looking into moving in together soon.

Don’t let your annual income situation hold you back from approaching beautiful women. I used to be in that situation a couple years ago. I was a broke college student, drove a shitty car, but every week I would go out and meet the hottest girls I could find. I’ve dated beautiful girls even though I was broke. Like I said earlier, some girls even broke up with me because of my tight money situation. No big deal, because I know that there are many more girls out there just as beautiful as her. I’ve also met girls who didn’t make that big of a deal out it, and they are the majority.

Now of course you can improve your odds of consistently dating beautiful women if you become more successful yourself. I really fixed my own money situation. I started to work full-time, bought a nicer car, and made more money. For social circles, this was the perfect image to have (your image is really important in social circle game). For girls I was seriously dating for a bit, I could do more fun things with them. If you can expand your green zone then you’ll have a bigger probability of dating beautiful girls. Despite that, don’t let your money situation hold you back from approaching and dating extremely beautiful women.

Blog Posts, Dating Advice

The Real Force Behind Building Commonalities

One of the corner stones of building comfort and rapport with anyone is having commonalities. Regardless of race, sex, or age we naturally try to build commonalities when we are engaging someone in conversation, but I’ ve noticed no one really explained why we do it. We generally know that if two people have something in common, they get along better. I knew that since I was a kid. Nothing new there, but that doesn’t really answer the question of “why do people get along better when they have something in common?”

It wasn’t until recently when I was taking a shower that it hit me why commonalities are important. The real force behind commonalities is that when you see someone else have something you also have in common, it reinforces the beliefs and decisions you’ve made are good.

I repeat: Commonalities reinforce the beliefs and decisions you’ve made are good.

Just think about it. If you are an activist for green energy and you meet someone who is also into that, you will feel (subconsciously) that you have made the right decision to be a green energy activist, because you see someone is what you are. It’s very validating to see that, especially if the belief, lifestyle, or occupation, etc, is a big part of your life. The bigger the role it plays in your life, the more validating it is when you meet someone who shares that aspect of your life.

When I was in London, fellow Love Systems instructor sheriff and I were talking about women and our preferences. One thing that struck me was when he said (paraphrased): “When I meet a girl who is a third culture kid, it is game over. I’m all over her.” Not so surprisingly, sheriff is a third culture kid himself (someone brought up in one or many environments that weren’t their own culture). Compare that to meeting a girl that is from the same city you are from. It’s not as validating, right?

My point is, when it is a big commonality it’s very validating to see someone else who shares that with you. You instantly connect with that person because you know there are so many things you guys have in share; same beliefs, same decisions, similar life experiences, and so on. You can make someone feel this validation too by trying to find (impactful) commonalities. The easiest way is by playing the “question game”. Just make sure you fire off the right questions, which Braddock has a huge list of questions for the question game.

You can dig for commonalities for building comfort and rapport with girls you want to date, but you can do it the wrong way too by either getting into “interview mode” (asking many questions back-to-back when it’s not part of the question game) or getting in the friend zone (having too much rapport with no escalation). The former is what I see a lot. You see it back with guys who aren’t aware of Love Systems and try to pickup women. Right off the bat of the conversation they will try to dig deep with the girl to see if he has any commonalities.

“Where are you from?”
“What do you do?
“What’s your favorite movie/tv show/color/X?”
And so on…..

As soon as the girl answers his question, the guy will try to see if he and she have something in common. If they do, then the guy bought himself a couple more seconds. If not, he will usually fire off another question to find commonalities.

In a lot of cases if the guy and the girl have something remotely in common, the guy will throw it out there but most of the time it won’t score points.

Guy: “Where are you from?”
Girl: “I’m from Santa Monica”
Guy: “No way….I have a friend who lives there.”

WHO CARES YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO LIVES THERE TOO?

I see this type of dialogue week in, week out. In most cases this type of dialogue will bore girls. One thing Future always says is that boredom is one of the kryptonites for attraction. To avoid the typical interview mode try to mix statements with questions. Every question can be restated as an statement. Instead of asking “where are you from?” you can say “You look like you’re from the Mid-west, because you’re so friendly.” Whether I’m right or wrong, she will let me know where she’s from. This is what we call a cold-read. If I’m right, I seem intuitive and I’m “in.” If I’m wrong, she will let me know where she is from. Win-win.

Trying to build (too many) commonalities before the girl is attracted is a fast ticket to boredom and friend-zone planet. That’s why within the Love Systems Triad Model, in the emotional progression you see that attraction comes before comfort. That’s also why I advocate using the question game mid-way in the conversation when you know the girl is attracted to you.

Before you start building commonalities with a girl, she should be first attracted to you. If she is not attracted to you, most of the time she will not want to invest in the conversation. Especially not building commonalities, that should be saved for later on. If want to know how to build attraction with women (and how to get started with dating more beautiful women), I highly suggest you pick up a copy of Magic Bullets.

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Thanh Bonsai, Thanh Bonsai. Thanh Bonsai said: New blog! The Real Force Behind Building Commonalities http://bit.ly/bxiKyM [...]

Though you are right on the statement that it reinforces the beliefs and decisions part, you are forgetting A LOT. I don’t mean to insult you dude, but honestly, you’re an instructor and it seems like you’re not that knowledgeable about the psychology of girls (which is obviously what the methods are about).

Example: If I broke my leg, and I’m wearing a cast, and I find a girl in the same situation, I would value her. Obviously not because it reinforces that my beliefs and decisions are correct…

It’s because I have someone else to talk to it about and share my pain. Though this was a shitty example for game, it still applies to it. There are SO MANY MORE ways somebody will value another person through commonalities, not just reinforcing that I was right about certain things.

Dating Advice