Finding Compatible Women – You will not get every girl!
One big fallacy I see when guys first start to learn how to meet women is that they think they can get every girl with the tools we teach them. This is simply not true. We teach you structured opportunities to meet and date more women, but never ever will you get every woman. Any guy who says he can teach you to get every girl is a fraud. It does not happen. I used to believe when I learned the “pickup artist tools” that I could get every girl, but soon enough I found out that’s simply not the case. What “having game” gives you is more choice of women to date but there will always be a group of women who will just not be attracted to you no matter what. The goal is to find compatible women and women who are open to date you. The following idea was first brought up on another lair board but first broken down on a bootcamp by dating coach Braddock. I’ve expanded upon the idea and dissected it further.
I’ve separated women in the dating pool in three groups in terms of compatibility. This has nothing to do with a woman’s beauty, but what some people call “chemistry.” Naturally there are women that are just not compatible with you (red). Then there is a pool of women that will like you just for who you are (green). The biggest group is the women who are indifferent (gray). The following diagram summarizes it.
Remember this diagram from your statistics class? You can see the dating pool as a bell curve. On one end of the bell curve, red, is the group of women that you will never get. No. Matter. What. Accept it. Some of these women won’t give you any time when you approach or you find out that a girl has all the turn-offs you have on your list. Either way, that pool of women is not for you.
All the way on the other end of the bell curve is the group of women that are naturally compatible with you. These are the women who immediately like you and are attracted to you without you having any game. With these women, all you have to do is not screw it up to get them. A lot of guys, before they discovered Love Systems, felt like they were in a relationship with a “green” girl because it was always the girl picking the guy. But we are here to expand our options and have the option for who we pick to meet and date.
The women in the gray zone are initially open to meet you and figure out if you are someone she wants to date. This is the biggest dating pool. Most women you will meet will fall in the gray zone. Now, this is where “game” comes in. These are the women where you need “game” to get them because they are indifferent before you two meet. It’s your job to make her feel attracted to you (“chemistry”) and lead the way to a possible relationship. By having decent game you will no longer be limited to just the women in the green zone but you will also be able to meet and date women in the gray zone.
SIDENOTE: What I would do with the women who I meet and are “red” is I will try to make these girls my friend. I can’t get them attracted to me or date me, but I will try to make them at least my friend. Why? To expand my own social circle but also because these “red” girls might have female friends that are “green” or “gray” (and beautiful of course!) that I could possibly date.
If you had no game, you would just be limited to the women in the green zone and you would think all the women you meet are in the “red” zone. Unfortunately, that is what most guys have to settle for and I used to be one of them. Since you are reading this post you are likely a guy who wants to be able to consistently date women in the green AND gray zone. So don’t waste your time with women who are naturally “red.” That is your biggest enemy and you will waste a lot of time. Instead, focus on the girls who are “green” and “gray”, especially “gray.” You will notice in the beginning when you try to learn Love Systems that most women you meet will be in the gray zone. As you get better and better more women will fall into the green zone. Which brings up the next point.
So you want to learn game? My suggestion would be to grab a copy of Magic Bullets and the Love Systems Routines Manual. Go out and contact me for any questions.
Expand Your Green Zone
Besides learning game to expand your options with women, you can also work on yourself to expand your dating pool choices. You can boost your natural attractiveness to women by working out, getting a fashion makeover, grooming, and with general self-improvement.
Just learning game will expand your green zone too because you naturally become a guy that is attractive to women. You become more funny, understand women, can pass tests women give you, and so on.
Another way to expand your green zone would be to workout and get in shape. Regular exercise helps your success with women in many ways. You will feel better, look better in your clothes, have better skin, and is healthy for your mind too. Plus, it helps your state control when you go out and you will be better in bed because you will last longer / perform better.
Another easy step would be to get a new haircut and wardrobe to change your look. Looks matter, but not as much as you would think. Savoy summarizes it best in this video.
SIDENOTE: If you are interested in a fashion makeover and/or tailored style tips, contact me.
Self-improvement is a big area, but some suggestions would be read more books, travel, take more hobbies, get more friends, and improve your career. All these tips, plus the ones mentioned earlier in the article, are good starters and will expand the amount of “green” girls. Add having good game and you will be able to date A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
In my opinion, you want to expand your green zone as much as you can up to the point where you need very little game to meet and date beautiful women. Why? Because your green zone is so big that it gives you more women than you can handle (and you don’t need to find women in the gray zone). This is where social circle game will be your next piece and having that lifestyle where your health, wealth, and relationships are at its peak. That’s worth explaining in another post.
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Very good article. Makes alot of sense. Thanks!
Thanks!
Something about this article is really rubbing me the wrong way, and I'm having trouble articulating it properly, but I'll do my best:
Finding a compatible woman is about finding a girl that is attractive to YOU. This is why game is about displaying yourself in a way such that you attract the type of girls who you are going to like being around, and quickly filter out the ones who you won't.
It's fine to give advice on how to be more attractive, absolutely you should. I mean, that's what you do for a living. But that has nothing to do with compatibility. Compatibility is about finding a girl that is your type, not being selected by girls for whom you are their type. Obviously a relationship can't happen without the latter, but whether you are their type shouldn't really concern you. Your attractiveness to women will increase inversely to your concern for how far you have expanded your green zone.
That's a good point, if I get what you mean. What I'm trying to say is that if you have a lot of “green” girls then you filter out (without much effort) which girls are most compatible with you. Being “green” has nothing to do with compatibility (like you said), but that pool of “green” girls is yours for the taking and you can see who YOU find compatible.
The pool of “gray” girls are the ones you have to “game” and figure out who is compatible. Sure, having game allows you to get girls who you think initially are not “your type” but from my experience it's not worth the time and energy unless you're just starting out learning pickup.
Dude people aren't signing up for bootcamps to learn how to change their personality so that they can play someone who gets more girls, they're trying to learn how to convey who they already are in a way that girls will respond positively.
I don't really understand this distinction that you're making between “having to game” and being compatible. “Gaming” isn't about lying to people to make people think that you are someone you're not. The reason that finding the community is such a revelation for guys is because they have been dishonest with women for years in an effort to have a fulfilling love life; buying them drinks, pretending they like things that they don't, being overly supplicatory, not asking for what they want; and as they get into the community they realize that all of this bullshit that they've been doing has been backfiring.
Where am I saying that you have to be someone else to get girls? I think you don't grasp this concept. You are already fine the way you are and some girls like that about you. There might not be a lot of girls who will like you, but there are women who love you just the way you are.
If you want to get more girls you “improve” yourself (learning pickup, get better career, workout, etc). Knowing how to display your personality is just one way to get more women. Just like pickup is a subset of self-help. In my opinion, you want become your best self and learning social skills (what part of bootcamp teachings are) is just one part of that process.
this is posibly the best post i have read on pickup in a verry verry lomg time. thanks a lot
I do grasp the concept, you're saying that there are some girls who will already like you the way you are, and you have to “game” the rest. The implication of that is that game is not who you are in some way…
this is posibly the best post i have read on pickup in a verry verry lomg time. thanks a lot
I do grasp the concept, you're saying that there are some girls who will already like you the way you are, and you have to “game” the rest. The implication of that is that game is not who you are in some way…
No, you have to game the rest because they aren't sure about you just yet.
I'm currently friends-with-benefits with a girl that was a total green girl for me. I wasn't trying to pick her up (this happened the day before my first workshop with LS). All I did was talk to her about fashion, and by the end of my visit to the store she works for, she wanted me to take her number. I got her number and met up with her to hit some clubs. I made no significant effort to get her to want to sleep with me, and already she did. The reasons as I see it are these:
Her major attraction switches are:
*physical appearance
*a taste for fashion
Other than that, I simply avoided screwing things up and we slept together on the first “date”.
Other girls will like me as I currently am, but maybe not be as attracted to me as this one particular girl, and so other attraction switches should be reached for… It's shooting in the dark I suppose, but as I was taught, you want to hit as many attraction switches as possible in the first interaction. Also, every girl is going to respond differently at different points of the emotional progression, so… I think handling the difficulties of taking many different girls through the same progression is what game is about.
It's not about being someone else, it's just about knowing how to handle social obstacles. It's like learning to drive a car. In some sense, you're still the same person after you first learn to drive, the only difference is that now you know how to handle the vehicle and (hopefully) navigate roadways successfully.
But truly, I believe once you learn how to drive a car, you are a different person, because every experience in life changes who are you. Truly, you are never staying the same person. You change into a new person every single moment of your life, in very minute amounts. Over the years, we do change. I am not the same person I was 5 years ago–and thank god for that!.
Game is not about trying to be someone else, it's just about learning to navigate the roads. Some girls will be happy with your current driving ability as-is, but others will expect that you signal for 4 seconds before changing lanes, or that you keep 3 seconds of driving distance between you and the car in front of you. If you don't do these things, they won't be comfortable riding with you and they'll demand that you pull over and let them out (even though they still like you as a person, and maybe even like the idea of sleeping with you).
But in doing so–In learning to better navigate the roads, you become someone else.
That's my two cents.
Excellent articles, Bonsai!
@Hammer time, dude your funny. Your clearly no grasping the concept at all.
what Bonsai is saying is money. He never says anything remotely about lying to women or not being yourself. Even if he is saying that some girls like you for being you and that you have to game the rest is just the truth and nothing wrong with that. I've met girls where they would say they hated certain characteristics about a guy, and i had all those characteristics. But because i was on my game i was able to calibrate and make her overlook them to see beyond it. thus turning it into a successful relationship.