6 Signs Strippers are Really Interested in You

Stripper persona and real person

Whenever you try to pick up strippers at strip clubs you will always face the same problem: You are initially not talking to the real person, but the stripper persona.

Unlike girls in bars and clubs, strippers are very aware of body language and what kind of interest they show in a guy. Your first mission is to distinguish the fake signs of interest from the real ones. Then, you try to shutdown the stripper persona and get to the real person as soon as possible.

SIDENOTE: There are a lot of cool tricks and techniques to turn off the stripper programming, but you will need to attend one of the Strippers and Hired Guns seminars to find out. We also teach how to get her stop seeing you as a customer and how to break yourself out of the customer frame. I might give some tricks away for free later on this blog. Keep an eye on it. Subscribe to my blog if you haven’t already.

How do you know when you’re talking to the real person and not the stripper persona? When you are getting real signs of interest from her. Here are 6 signs when a stripper and exotic dancer is really interested in you.

1. She stops asking for dances.

This is the first biggest real sign of attraction you will see. Once you and her have been talking for awhile, you still might not know if she is really attracted to you. However, when she is not asking for dances anymore and/or engaging in the conversation, she has decided to sit with you over making money. At this point it should feel weird for her to ask you for a dance because she is realizing that you are not an ordinary customer but a guy she might be romantically interested in. If you get this far, you’re doing a good job but it’s just a start.

It becomes more evident whenever she gets called on stage to dance and afterwards comes back sitting with you without asking for a tip or dance. That is a HUGE sign that she is attracted to you. If you get this, you’re in! BTW, read my post on where to sit in strip clubs to pickup strippers.

2. She reveals her real name.

It’s no secret that all exotic dancers work under a different name at the strip club. In other words, when you first get their name it’s their “stripper name” not their real name. It’s for security reasons that all the girls work under a stage name, so stalkers cannot look them up. Whenever a stripper tells you her real name, what that really means is that she feels comfortable around you. Not necessarily attracted, but she feels safe enough to open up to you and be her real self.

This is almost my default way-point to find out if the stripper I’m talking to is a little bit comfortable around me. I know that when she tells me her real name that I have almost completely have shut off her stripper programming and I am slowly talking to the real person.

3. She tells you insider information.

Whenever I feel it is really “on” when I’m picking up a stripper, I always end up on the same conversational topic: we start talking about the other girls in the strip club and the management. This is a recurring thread I’ve noticed. So when the stripper you are picking up starts sharing insider info on the other girls that’s a good thing! For example, she might share that some girls do drugs in the dressing room, others have done extras in VIP rooms, and so on. Or on a similar note she might tell you how the management works in the strip club and what special rules they have. Either way, if she tells you anything like the above the pickup is going forward and in the right direction.

4. Dead air is not a deal breaker anymore.

When it comes to picking up strippers you need to be able to run your mouth for long periods of time. In the beginning of the conversation you have very little room for mistakes and dead air is lethal. Any dead silence is just enough time to get the stripper back to her stripper persona and try to squeeze money out of you. However, later on whenever you have a lull in the conversation and she reinitiates the conversation, that’s a good sign. Dead air is not lethal anymore and you can assume that she has some feeling of attraction towards you.

5. She hints at seeing you outside the venue.

To get a strong timebridge and a solid phone number from strippers you need to build a really strong emotional connection. Strippers are the flakiest girls in the world and to avoid flaking you must have super good comfort game to build a strong emotional connection. Plus, you have to seed throughout the interaction that you want to see her again. So from time to time you slip in the conversation that you and her should meet up again and you do this throughout the interaction. Some people call this technique “seeding”; you lay down little hints (”seeds”) when you’re talking to her about meeting up later so it gets imprinted in her mind that she should see you again. When she does the seeding, in other words she mentions about meeting up with you, that means it is on like donkey kong. Calibrate this but generally at that point you want to grab her number, stay a few more minutes and then leave.

6. The digits.

Generally the objective in a stripper pickup is to get the phone number and get her out on a date. If you have done everything well and saw most of the other signs of attraction (see previous points) then you’re almost sure you can get the phone number. Strippers only give out their phone numbers when they are really attracted to a guy. When you do get her phone number give yourself a shoulder pat. You’ve successfully picked up a stripper. Now you need to close the deal, but that’s worth another post.

6 Signs Strippers are Really Interested in You is a post from Bonsai – Asian Dating Coach & Pickup Artist

Blog Posts, Stripper Game

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  • dont touch jimmy

    Dude, I have tried some of this and had a certain amount of success recently with one girl.  I did not get the digits, but she sat with me the entire night when not dancing and in addition to a great, personel level conversation, she initiated hand holding with me under the table.  Does that by itself mean anything?

    • StripperMessiah


      • Mustang One

        What about if the stripper is cute, great personality, and on every visit to the club she finds you, puts her arms around you and takes you off to talk, as well as spends the whole night with you talking, as well as doing everything she can to hold your hands. I am not sure if she gave me her real name, but she says it is.  She’s “gave” me the “homelife situation” story and from what I gather she sounds just like a country girl.  I asked her what she liked to do for fun.  Get this..She says your going to laugh at me.  I said why??  She said that she “Bow hunts”  and dropped an 11 point a few weeks ago.  Now whether that is true or not is a different matter, but above all of the nudity, wild ass women in the bar, that really got my attention. 

  • StripperMessiah

    This may sound harsh but, as a stripper,  I can personally confirm that none of your suggestions are valid. There is simply no way to tell if the stripper is any good at her job.
    1) I never ask for dances.  Smart dancers don’t.  It makes us look like nice, genuine people (which some of us actually are). All of other strippers at this club pester you and just want your money, but I honestly enjoy your company and find you attractive.
    2) I also have a fake “real name” because 100% of guys say “yeah, what’s your real name?” If I said “I’m not telling you” I would look like a jerk. If I told everyone who asked, I would be dead. I also have a fake home town, parents, alma mater, day job and hobbies. I assure you that they are more interesting and sexier than my real life.
    3) With few conversation topics available, most people chat about the setting, coworkers and rules.  I also find a common interest with ever guy. Oh my god, you like sex/video games/ crappy music / boring sport too?  I’m obsessed with that very thing!  Go ahead and test me on it! I memorized the Wikipedia article and the last 20 perverts/MW3/Nickelback/Nascar douchbags’ sentiments and opinions! You really want to talk about my interests? They are: my 2 children, fashion, textiles (weaving and history), cute boy in my yoga class.
    4) You’re basing this on your own feelings.  We don’t need dead air to craft sales pitches.  We’ve done this thousands of times before and you can’t come up with a question for which we don’t have a formulated and tested answer.
    5) Nope, that’s our job (the “if you spend enough, I might see you outside of work” act).  You’re paying for the illusion that a beautiful, young, highly sought after lady might like you best out of all of the hotter, richer, nicer guys there.
    6) We all have Cricket, pay as you go work cell phones so we can text customers when we work. That’s part of the industry now.

    Don’t get me wrong. I love customers, and not just their money.  I love getting to know people and feel as if a lot of my customers are really awesome guys who I would hang out with for free.  But I don’t.  I have 2 kids and school and I have no interest in meeting a guy who just likes the way I look.  Because I won’t look like this in 10 years.  And that’s OK because plenty of guys will like me for my brain and personality. They just don’t care about either when I’m naked and giggling at them and grinding on their laps.

    • Na_bone

      I think the post was about signs that a (stripper) dancer is into you, not whether or not she is good at her job.    I have been to many strip clubs over the years.  Every last girl that I have slept with exibited every single sign that has been mentioned in the above post.  However, I must say that I never had to talk non-stop to keep the dancers attention. 

      1) If a dancer ask me directly for a dance, I say no.  However, if she is receptive, I may get on her side give her a little advice of how to be counter intuitive to get a dance from a customer.  Most girls don’t accept critiquing that well, so I present the situation in such a way that she begs for it. 

      2) I Don’t ask for the girls real name, for some reason they feel compelled to give it to me.  But unlike most strip club game advice, I still call them by their stage name but remind them if they ask me, that I still know their real name. 

      3) I never make conversation of my hobbies or place of work. I hardly mention anything about me. I may talk about some emotional drama that my friend had in his or her relationship or about an animal that I loved which no longer lives, and almost every single time the girls light up with emotions and want to talk about their  present or past relationships,or their friends or pets,  Often I ask them, what are you trying to do or go in life and when they tell me I touch them and hug them and make them feel good about their goals.  I always stroke, touch or squeeze on positive thoughts and exchanges. Before I realize it, we have a vibe going.  And she starts wanting me to be in the know of whats going on in the club two and gives me inside information about it as well as her life.  Thats when I start realizing that she sees me as something other than just a customer.

      4) As for dead air, I don’t get the sales pitch thing he talks about because in my scenarios, She does 75 to 80 percent of the talking, Not only that, the girls feel good about just sitting at my table even if we are saying nothing.  I had a girl who was the club top earner sit at my table the whole night without making a dime other than the tip money she made on the few drinks I bought for her and was amazed that the night had flew by so fast with her not making any money to show for it. 

      5) I know that some guys do pay the dancers for sex outside the club or have some type of drug game exchange but many of your upper level gentlemens club girls don’t bite that kind of bait because they make too much money.  When the girls show me indicators of wanting to hang outside the club, I always say maybe or that I’m busy. I never say no but  I am very selective of which girls I will hang out with or have sex with.  Usually, the girls never talk to me in terms of having sex but more in terms of having a relationship.  But most of the time it ends up in sex. 

      6) It is true, a lot of the girls have two phones, one for their customers and one for personal.  I never ask for a girls number.  They insist that I take their number. I don’t know which number they give me and I never ask, but when we meet outside the club and we are having sex, I just know that the sex is real.    

      When I go to a strip club, I don’t go to pick up girls, I go to learn the game.  I love it when a girl has a good introduction, a great presentation, the right kind of clothes, and the right positive vibe. If she does I will spend a few dollars on her and tell her what I loved about her skills. With the information I learn, I use it for sales, interviewing, picking up girls outside the gentlemens club, or just vibing with people in general, the list is endless.  However, most guys don’t even make it a quarter of where I have been.  Like you say, they only get the illusion.

  • Killermunky

    Ok, I got to step 6 before but it never went beyond that.  So far from what I can see I did everything right except for maybe step 5.  I don’t get much seeding going on.  How can I fix this?  I know I’m not getting the dates because I’m screwing up the emotional connections part.

  • james

    i know of one who was completely different than any stripper i have spoken to..we started out with the usual lap dances and chit chat….she told me from the start that she does not like doing them..i can attest to this because following nights after our first encounter she did not go around lap dancing for anybody….once in a while she would but that was it…we have had many good conversations/deep at times…she has alreay given me her full name, phone # has about 4 of them…we text every week and she even told me tells me where she is working her 2nd job and for me to stop in…she is also a bartender…..she informed me recently that she does not like working at the strip club…she supposedly has a kid that she does not seem to want to talk about…she just moved here and i don’t know what to say but we seem to get a long when i hang out at her 2nd job…..we have shared a lot more info then the usual customer/stripper scenario…these are all facts…she is living w/someone now and has supposedly a “marine” that she adores but this guy has been divorced twice and has two kids…ohh by the way she is 33 and i am 43….i have told her about me…and she has opened up about her but not her kid…strange? anyone with ideas? stripper messiah if you read this please post…thanks…

  • senhor gigity

    Nice i give myself a pat on the back. I picked up the hottest stripper in the club last night perfect 10. beautiful face and smile, nice tits and a great ass and legs. got her phone number and got her to agree to go to the beach tommorow. Hell yah I am the shiznit lol.

  • Ichron

    I just got out of a 4 month relationship with a girl I met in a club…only to be told by another (who has actually quit stripping and has no vested interest in getting me into a club for money because there’s none to be exchanged) that she wants a shot with me.  Am I an expert on this topic?  No, but I suppose more versed than average considering without actually having the goal of, nor trying to, pull a girl from the club, I’ve managed to do it on more than one occasion.

    Every stripper has a different game.

    1 – Some won’t ask for dances, they’ll wait for the guy to ask, and if they don’t they’ll eventually just move on.  Strike that one from your list.

    2 – I’ve had some tell me their real name outright in the beginning to try and make me think they’re interested and get to the money.  Strike that one from your list.

    3 – Every stripper talks about the others there.  Strike that one from your list.

    4 – Dead air doesn’t matter.  Unrelated entirely.  It’s never lethal.  Another gone from the list.

    5 – A lot of girls will see you out of the club…if you pay them.  For whatever.  For a date as an escort, for sex, whatever.  But hey, if you want to pay for sex, that’s your thing I guess.  Still, that’s no big deal.  Take that off your list.

    6 – No big deal.  I’ve got no less than 5 stripper’s numbers in my phone right now.  Guess what?  Two of them are lesbians and I’m not another girl, so ain’t nothing happening there.  The digits mean nothing.

    Now for my experience.  Treat the girls like they are actually human and not some lesser form of a person just because they’re dancing.  Listen to them – don’t just stare at them, actually hear what they have to say.  When it’s your turn to speak, be interesting.  You don’t have to lead an interesting life, but talk about it in an interesting way.  You don’t have to glam it up, just talk about it in an interesting way – perhaps in a self-deprecating way, whatever…just hold her attention with it.  Whatever you do, be careful, though.  A girl may be playing you to get you back into the club (or see you out of the club and milk money from you) and think of you as a regular.  In fact, the one who is attempting to pursue me now said at first she thought of me as a regular, but then she got to know me and changed her mind about me (to the point that while she was still working there, she’d take me to the couches and give me dances then tell me she’s not charging for any of them) – so it actually isn’t impossible to get out of the regular tag, but you have to resist becoming one and falling for her trap.

    • jonrd463

       You nailed it. I’ve come to the conclusion that 99.8% of the time, a strip club can only be taken at face value– that is, a place to hang out, check out beautiful women, engage in superficial conversation, get a lap dance, and leave. StripperMessiah spoke truth in the earlier comments. These girls are outright pros.

      Let me give my experience. I went to a local club a few times and built an amazing rapport with one of the girls. Got her real name (really real, actually), a cellphone number, and even a couple of OTC meetups that were time-barred. (She “had to be somewhere by such-and-such time”, or it was pre-shift coffee at Starbucks.) Knowing this, I went anyway just to try to build comfort and rapport outside of the club environment.

      So when I decided it was time to set up a real date, I’d call her number and got no answer. It was a legit number, since she entered it into my phone herself by way of calling her phone. She never answered any time I’d call. Then, like clockwork, I’d get calls from her an hour or so before her shift wanting me to come see her at the club.

      I found out later that she’s married with a kid, and is just an expert at her job.

      While I know it’s possible to close the deal with a stripper, the chances are astronomical. I’d advise any guy planning to go to a strip club to just use the occasion to have some fun and just practice storytelling and comfort building, or other useful skills that stand the chance of working in less exotic venues.

  • Guest123

    How do you know if a stripper is really into you?

    (1) She spends a lot of time talking to you. She rambles on and on and tells you a lot of personal information about herself. On the other hand, if a girl does not like you, there will be little or no conversation. She will be looking away instead of paying attention to you.
    (2) She gives you her phone number without you even asking for it. The is a sure sign that she is hot for you.
    (3) She tells you that she finds you attractive.
    (4) She gives you a blowjob in the VIP room. I have actually had at least 4 strippers do this. Yep, they were definitely interested. :)