Day Game and Social Proof
I had an interesting pickup the past week. I was on my way to work but I decided to stop by at Subway to grab a sandwich. This the only Subway I know that is close to the office and I have been going there twice a week for a couple months already. It’s my goto spot for breakfast and lunch on my way to work.
So whenever I walk in the staff recognizes me and knows me by name. Vice versa. When I come in I greet the staff members by their name.
This came in useful Wednesday morning. I walk in and I get greeted by the staff. Of course I say hello back to them. But then…..I see a gorgeous Asian girl in a suit ordering a sandwich. I have thing for women who are dressed professional. They are hard to find in Hollywood but plenty around downtown LA. A couple months ago I was in New York City and while I was in the cab I saw all these “professional women” walking around. I was in heaven.
Anyway…back to the story.
It was just me, 2 staff members, her and another guy in the store. I knew I had only small window of opportunity to make something happen.
I ask the old lady behind the counter how her day is getting along and we make small chat as I’m ordering. The purpose is just to build a little bit of social proof. It’s very clear to strangers that we know each other (to a certain extent).
What is social proof?
Social proof is a psychology term. In short, as humans we look for shortcuts so we don’ t have to think too much. Whenever we face something unknown, we look for others to see how they behave to that situation to decide what the best decision is. The mechanics is that we believe that others have more information than a single person does so we behave according to how most people behave.
To put that in a dating context, let me give you an example. If you walk into a club with two beautiful women on your arms, people will automatically assume positive traits about you. The implied thought is, “if these (beautiful) women are with him, then there must be something cool about him.” In other words, you have social proof which results in you having (some) value.
Now compare that when you walk into a club by yourself. Nobody is going to assume anything good about you. You have no social proof and no value. Even if you walked in with your two (male) buddies, nobody would still not assume any positive traits. However, if you walk in with a celebrity, then people will assume positive traits about you. Now you do have social proof and value.
In short, social proof makes you seem have value. Capiche?
When the girl was paying for the sandwiches I noticed she was paying multiple times with cash and credit cards. At this point I was waiting to pay for my order so I was standing next to her. That’s when I started the conversation.
Me: I hate it when I have to take orders for my co-workers. Especially at this place.
Her: I know! I was just leaving and then someone asked me where I went so I said Subway. Then they all asked if I could bring something back for them. So I just did.
Me: That’s nice of you. We could use someone like you in our team. You can be our goto person for lunch instead of my intern.
Her: Haha thanks. If the salary is better I might take you up on that offer.
Then she left to go to her car. After I paid for my sandwich I walked really fast to her and went for the Hail Mary.
Me: Excuse me. I know this is crazy but I would kick myself if I didn’t get your name before we both go back to work.
Her: I’m Jane
Me: I’m Thanh.
[we shake hands]
Me: Listen Jane, I don’t have enough time to competently flirt with you, but I would love to call you sometime.
Her: Yeah sure.
After some more small talk I got her number.
Now I want to break it down for you. I can micro analyze it to the tiniest bit but I won’t do that. I want you to understand the mechanics of why this pickup worked. There is one thing that helped me the most:
I had social proof.
Now you might think…so an old lady gave you social proof? Yes, but not in a way a super model would give me value. It was more about me being social and knowing the staff. Whenever you know the staff, you always come across as high value to others. It doesn’t even matter if you live in a dumpster or in a mansion. Strangers can’t tell.
So the fact that I got greeted by the staff gave me some value. I built value before I even approached her. Before I evened opened my mouth, she already saw little parts of my personality by the way I was interacting with the staff. The implied cognition is, “He knows the staff and they know him. He must be somebody important.”
Social proof is not just limited to bars and clubs like many people think. It applies everywhere. Especially the places you frequent, which can also be places you go to during the day.
Day game and social proof works too!
Every place I go at least once a week, I am pretty sure I know most of the staff members. I would suggest you do the same thing. Get to know the staff of places you frequent. It might come in handy some day like it did for me.
In fact, a couple weeks prior I had a similar situation. I was at a Jamba Juice I always go to after the gym. Same deal. I know the staff, they know me. When I walked in, we greeted each other and there happened to be a MILF in there. Few minutes later, we exchanged numbers.
Why? I had social proof. It makes your approach so much easier and the rest of the pickup. You are almost like a celebrity.
You might wonder….how can I do this? Here’s a little exercise for you:
-Write down all the places you frequent at least once a week.
These might include: gym, coffee shop, video store, restaurant, grocery store, and so on.
Now that you have a list of places you often go to, try to get to know the staff of each place. Here are some tips to do that:
Then someday you might meet your next girlfriend when you least expect it but you’ll do it with social proof. Isn’t that romantic? :)
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bonsai, Mark Gonzalez. Mark Gonzalez said: Always money bro–RT @LS_Bonsai: Check out my new post on using social proof with day game. http://bit.ly/73y2Eg [...]
This is more than pick up advice, this is a lesson in building social skills. You didn't have to pull out some crazy out-of-the-bag routine or anyhing super technical. You simply started talking and had some social proof, and boom. You get the girl
nice
So would you try to text Jane to try to build some more attraction and then bam a date along the way?
Yeah true. I didn't use anything magical lines or openers. It was an easy pickup because I utilized my surroundings to the fullest. Now that doesn't mean every pickup will be like this, but if you are in environment you can use to your advantage, def go for it.
I actually called her the day after. Since we had such a short interaction, I felt like I needed to build more of a connection with her. Doing that over the phone is more powerful than over text. I hope to see her again when I get back from my business trip! Till I'll be texting and calling once a while.
Sick post bro!!
Your blog is on point, been learning a lot from you dude!!
LA on the reg in 4 days!!
holla!!
Thx homie. LA can't get come soon enough huh :)
Excellent post.
Thanks Toomas!
This is a great example of social proof. I like Mr Ms playmate pickup. I used to think that social proof was all about walking around a venue with a girl in your arm, but boy was I wrong!
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Got the Love Systems Newsletter?
- Useful real life dating advice.
- Get tips from different dating coaches.
- Includes a plan for learning game.
- It's free!
