Starlight Adventures in Asia
My buddy Starlight is now in China trying to master the language. I’ve seen him speak Mandarin. It’s really weird seeing a tall white guy speaking Mandarin. It’s like seeing me speak Dutch. It’s just weird and funny at the same time.
He recently started posting his adventures in Asia when he did a bootcamp tour with Future, whim and Micha. I got some behind-the-scenes info and let me tell you….these guys are crazy and had fun. You can read about him dispelling myths on picking up asian women and how one guy tried to get his girl in pathetic manner. Hilarious!
Play The Field Before You Settle Down
Most people who study Love Systems eventually want to find that one special girl and settle down. I don’t blame them. What’s so bad about having that one girl you’re in love with and you want to spend time with? Nothing. In fact, I eventually want to settle down too. However, there is a condition attached to that.
Before I settle down with one girl, I want to make sure that I have the most compatible girl and she is someone I can see myself with for a long period of time. Now to get to that point, I first have to know what I want and need in a girl.
This something my buddy Future talks a lot about. Know what you want in a girl. But how do you know what you want in a girl? By dating a lot of different women.
Taste and preferences change over periods of time. One year you might want brunettes, a couple months later you prefer blonds. You want to settle with a girl that you’re physically attracted to (of course). Does hair color play a deciding factor for someone you want to date long-term? Not really. For you to find out what you want and need in a girl long-term you have date a lot of different girls.
By d ating I me an seeing a girl for a longer period of time and you have a strong emotional connection with her. That doesn’t mean that you’re girlfriend and boyfriend…but it could heading there.
This is what I’ve learned from having casual relationships (besides the golden rule of friends with benefits). After each girl you date, your column of “want in a girl” and “don’t want in a girl” becomes longer and longer.
For guys who have never dated a girl before, those two columns are based on zero experience. That’s fine. If you’re one of them, make sure that you learn Love Systems and start dating girls (fastest way is to take a bootcamp). For you who have had a couple relationships, this list is probably a couple items long. My advice to you guys is similar: start dating more women.
I want you to be at a point where you know what the dating has to offer and you really know what you want in a girl for a long-term relationship. I remember when Nick Savoy told me how he stopped dating other women and stuck with his current girlfriend. He said: “I know what’s out there and I think I found someone who has it all…” (paraphrased). In fact, he just blogged about that in his post commitmentphobia, choice and relationships.
I can’t stress this enough. The more girls you date, the more you will discover what type of girl you REALLY want. Your wants and needs are based on real (past) experiences. Not something imaginary.
Also by dating more and different types of girls, you can compare girls with each other and figure out what you need to put in your “wants” and “don’t wants” columns.
Let me give you an analogy with car buying. Imagine you’re in a position where money is not an issue and you want to find the perfect car for yourself. What do you do? You’re going to test drive every single car you ever have wanted to get, from Mercedes to Ferrari to Lamborghini and so on.
If you just test drive a bunch of Mercedes cars and think you found the perfect car, you’re wrong. You can’t really say that unless you have tried out all the different brands and models. You might like the steering in a BMW M5 but you like the interior of a Ferrari. So your quest continues until you’ve find that car who has everything you want.
The same ideas applies to find that perfect girl. If you have good Love Systems skills (unlimited money) and want the perfect girl (car) you need to date different types of girls (test drive different cars).
Too many guys nowadays just settle with the first girl they can get. It makes me cringe every single time I see it happening. Most of the time those relationships don’t work out. There’s a reason why divorce rates are so high.
NOTE: One good natural side effect of dating a lot of different girls is that your qualification skills become a lot better over time. You start screening girls better and that’s because you genuinely know what you want in a girl.
All in all, don’t just settle with the first girl you get. Go out, explore the dating pool, and enjoy the journey of finding that one special girl.
Play The Field Before You Settle Down is a post from Thanh Bonsai – Asian Dating Coach
Body Language Conference Call with Cajun
Today Nick Savoy and Cajun (famous for his performance on Keys To The VIP) are having a conference call on body language and subcommunications. I remember the first time I worked with Cajun on a bootcamp. At that time I wasn’t an official instructor yet. One thing I really learned from him was body language. The man has studied many famous and infamous people on their body language. He even studied the Greek statues and deciphering their body language and postures.
I was really impressed with his knowledge on the subject. I’m going to be tuning to the conference call too because I can never learn enough from Cajun on this topic. If you want to attend this (free) call too, just click here for more info.
These were some great tips! looking forward to the product!
body language is one of the most imporant think you must notice if you are dating a girl! Great tips
10 Tips For Getting The Most Out of Bootcamps and Workshops
Dating bootcamps and workshops are a great investment in yourself. Over a couple days you will change into a person you have always wanted to be: the guy who can be successful around beautiful women.
You learn the tricks of the trade on how to become a guy that is attractive to women. Plus, you know how to connect with women and eventually start a relationship. After taking a bootcamp myself with Love Systems, helping out on Love Systems bootcamps and eventually turning instructor, I noticed a few things on how you can get the most out of a bootcamp. Here are 10 tips for getting most out of a Love Systems bootcamp.
1. Do some approaches before taking a bootcamp. The more field experience you have, the more you will get out of a bootcamp. If you still have approach anxiety (you are afraid approaching women), try to get it under control as soon as possible. Start approaching women till you feel like you have your approach anxiety under a controllable feeling. My estimate is that a couple hundred approaches are sufficient to be able to approach most women.
If you have approach anxiety before taking the bootcamp, do not worry. At the end of the bootcamp, you should have very small levels of approach anxiety. You will get taught how to get rid of approach anxiety as much as possible. It never goes away, but you can learn to control it and not let affect your game.
2. Study before bootcamp. It’s not a requirement to have read any dating material. Over the course of three days, you will all the information you need to successfully attract and date beautiful women.
If you have studied beforehand, like reading Magic Bullets and Routines Manual, and you know and understand most of the concepts then the teaching at the bootcamp will make more sense. You will still learn a lot of new things but material will click faster if you’ve studied beforehand.
3. Get rested. We don’t call it “bootcamp” for nothing. You will be emotionally, physically, and mentally drained at the end of the third day. During the day you will take a lot of notes, concentrate, do exercises, and you will go out too picking up girls! While this is fun it is also very intensive and it requires a lot of energy. That is why you want to be complete rested before you attend your bootcamp. If you’re coming from another city, arrive at the bootcamp city a day before.
4. Take notes. This may seem obvious, but write as many notes as you can. Don’t just listen and absorb the information, even if you hear information you might already know. After the bootcamp you have material you can reference. You won’t be able to go back to a bootcamp (unless you’re willing to pay for it of course), so have those notes written down. I still go over my bootcamp notes once a while.
5. Tell your instructor what your level of game is. It doesn’t matter how good you are already, even advanced guys go to bootcamps to elevate their game. But to get better feedback, let your instructors know what your level of game is.
Your answers to these questions are very useful for instructors so they can give you REALLY GOOD feedback.
6. Ask questions. A bootcamp is a life changing experience and you’ve paid a lot of money for it. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to instructors no matter how stupid you think it is. Every student is there for the same reason: to improve their dating life. So don’t be ashamed to ask questions. Instructors are there to help YOU.
7. After your infield sessions write down all your thoughts. You will get live feedback from instructors and also at the end of the night. Try to remember as much as possible. Before you go to sleep write all your ideas, thoughts, and feedback down while they are still fresh. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not, just write down what is going through your mind. Writing will reinforce your ideas and thoughts. Then the next day, the bootcamp will start with a debrief and evaluation of the previous night. Take your notes out that you have written down before you went to sleep. Discuss them with the class and the instructors.
8. Make friends and find wingmen. Having a good wingman is convenient and makes your game so much better too. He can run interference, occupying people, motivate you, and give feedback. Sadly, good wingmen are hard to find. Fortunately, your fellow bootcamp comrades are the perfect candidates to become your wing. You guys went through the same experience, have the same goals, and studied the same material. Make friends with the buddies at bootcamp because you guys can be each other’s wingman!
9. Go out with your wingmen. This goes back to the previous point. Taking a bootcamp is just the beginning of self-improvement. What’s the point of taking a bootcamp if you will not implement the teachings? The majority of the work is up to you. The bootcamp is merely a weekend of learning and showing you the tools and techniques. So go out and practice what you have learned with your fellow bootcamp comrades. In fact, Jeremy Soul also said that having a good wingman will help your game more than anything after a workshop.
10. Lounge Access
As part of attending a Love Systems bootcamp you will get exclusive access to the Lounge. It’s a private only for Love Systems instructors and people who have taken a bootcamp. That way you are guaranteed to get advice from people who know what they are talking about. Instructors post daily their latest ideas and tips. Plus it’s full of content (dating back to 2004!) that you will not find anywhere else.
4 Tips To Improve Your Sense for Fashion & Style
Everyone can get a better sense for fashion and style. Just like learning Love Systems, you will mess it up the first couple of times but over time you will define your own style and will look more attractive.
It took me a couple years of trial and error to really find out what kind of look fits me. In fact, I’m still working on it. Sometimes I want to go more hip, other times I want the more young entrepreneur look. Who knows what it might be a year from now. After a while I found what worked for me and I even have a list of my favorite clothing brands now.
In order for you to find out what kind of style fits you, you will need to experiment. The first step is to educate yourself on the basics of fashion and style. So I came up with 4 tips that should help you find your style and improve your sense for fashion.
1. Get Details and GQ magazine. You don’t need a subscription to these magazines, although that would help, but try to regularly buy a copy so you can go through it. Look at the people and what they are wearing. Certain colors are more trendy during a certain season. So are certain pieces. Slowly over time you will recognize what colors works best with your skin tone, what pieces of clothing are trendy, and so on.
2. Start a look book. A look book is a folder where you keep photos or images of looks that you really like. Start collecting these looks and keep them in one folder. Once you have a bunch of looks that you like, you will slowly start to see what kind of style you like based on the number of looks that look similar to each other.
So make a new folder on your computer, name it “look book”, and now every time you see a cool look, save the image in your look book folder. You can use these sites below as a starting point to collect looks. I oftentimes look at celebrities at what they are wearing. Why? Because these people usually have professional stylists dress them.
Use these sites as starting points:
3. Buy these two books.
-Details Men’s Style Manual
-Esquire The Handbook of Style
These books explain the very basics of fashion and style. What’s a good fit? What pieces of clothing should every guy own? What types of shirt should you wear at X occasion? These questions and a lot more get answered in these books. Must have.
4. Look at the mannequins. This related to tip #2. Whenever you enter a clothing store, the first thing you want to look at (besides the beautiful women in there) are the mannequins. These are dressed up by HQ of the company where a team of stylist decided what the best looks are. You almost can’t go wrong by simply copying the mannequin. Try to figure out why the stylist made that look work, copy it, and then personalize it.
Here you have given great information about fashion and style. Really I want to know more about latest fashion and trends. I want to update self according to latest fashion and style. Thanks.
My 7 Favorite Clothing Brands
This is in no particular order.
1. H&M
I really like this brand. It’s cheap and it has good fit. The quality is decent. Usually H&M clothing doesn’t last longer than a year, except for maybe their jackets.
2. Zara
This is a brand I got introduced to not too long ago. The style is more GQ-ish and it is very affordable. A lot of clothing in GQ is out of the price range for people. If you want to dress like people you see in GQ, Zara (and a little more expensive version is Hugo Boss) is a good brand to go to.
3. Hugo Boss
Stay classy. I buy shirts and suits here. Very GQ-ish and kind of has an upscale look to it. You can’ go wrong with their dress and button up shirts.
4. Diesel
I love their jeans and jackets. Especially their jeans. They last forever and the fabric is recognizable. It’s a bit pricey but their jeans will last you a lifetime. Their clothes have a nice European fit. Although some pieces have their brand logo all over, the ones that don’t look priceless.
5. Dolce & Gabanna
The only things I buy from D&G are shoes and t-shirts. The are pricey but the quality makes up for it. The shoes are usually very edgy and standout, especially their casual and sneaker line.
6. G-Star
Jackets. G-star jackets are among my favorites. Did you know G-star was founded in The Netherlands (my home country)? I used to wear jeans a lot, but in the Netherlands everyone wears those. Here in LA I don’t see them that much.
7. True Religion
Love the jeans. I own about the same number of pair of TR jeans as Diesel jeans. The quality is great, fit is great (although I need the length tailored), and they have jeans in all different washes and colors.
My 7 Favorite Clothing Brands is a post from Thanh Bonsai – Asian Dating Coach
Me on JTR Podcast
Last week I recorded an interview with J The Ripper on his CC podcast. JTR and I started off around the same time with studying pickup and we both also started together becoming an approach coach for Love Systems.
We talk about all sorts of stuff, but some of the topics we talked about are crazy stories, picking up strippers, and social circle game. You can stream it here or download it here. Have fun.
Use Social Location Sharing for Picking Venues
I love Twitter. When I first got introduced to it, maybe two years ago, I thought it was retarded. Now I’m a big fan of it. Twitter gives you the opportunity to get to know someone without actually knowing the person in real life. Plus I can stay up-to-date on what my friends are doing.
If you haven’t been following me on Twitter, feel free to add me here. Once a while I share pictures, insider secrets of Love Systems, and dating tips you can use right away. If you’ve been reading my reviews of my coaching you can read that I share a ton of gold nuggets. So subscribe to my Twitter for more nuggets :)
If you’re an avid user of Twitter and/or Facebook, you might have seen those status updates of people sharing where they exactly are. No, I don’t mean the ones like “I’m at Coachella! It’s amazing!!!! Love the people here. I’m about to trip…..” but those semi-automated ones. Like the one above of mine recently.
If you are unfamiliar with social location sharing, check out this video of Kevin Rose (the guy behind Digg). Basically on your mobile phone, if you have an app like foursquare installed, it can pull up the venue / store / restaurant you are at based on your current location. Also, it plays the social media game, so you can add friends and if they use it you can actually see where they are. Also, you can checkout venues and see which users are there. Check out the video below to see understand what social location sharing is.
Now this is an interesting idea. Before you go out, you can actually check out the venue to see if hot girls are there, if the ratio is good, or check if you’re friends are there (yet). The possibilities are almost countless. I first ran across this idea when I read this post by the G Manifesto (subscribe to his blog, it’s awesome). Gotta give credit where it’s due. I won’t discuss the disadvantages of social location sharing, especially when you have stalkers (that’s why you don’t want to date strippers long-term, a lot of them are crazy and stalkers)! But overall, I’m totally for this new movement of location sharing.
I’m a big user of foursquare. You can follow me on Twitter and kind of see where I am. Before you know it, we might be in the same coffee shop! Whenever I go out, sometimes people do recognize me and say hi to me. That’s cool! Now I’m waiting for someone to say, “Hey Bonsai I saw on twitter that you were here tonight, so I had to come over and meet you!” while I’m trying to talk to a beautiful girl :-). That would be awesome for multiple reasons.
Keychain and 5.0 coming to The Netherlands
My two fellow coaches Keychain and 5.0 are coming to the Netherlands April 29. For those who don’t know, I grew up in The Netherlands, so I’m glad to see Love Systems is getting more involved in my home country.
One night these two comrades will share everything they know on pickup, dating, and relationships. I know I have a bunch of Dutch readers on my blog, so if you’re reading this definitely check it out! Get your cheap tickets here.
Are you going to Ad:Tech San Francisco?
I’m going to be in San Francisco from Monday till Wednesday for ad:tech. I would love to meet everyone who is going to be there and reads my blog. Free dating advice, crazy stories, and beer with yours truly :)
You can email me and we’ll get in touch, or leave a comment behind.
